my critique is going to be short and sweet:
-Really nice bubbles! I'm impressed. You got this down good! Nice job!
-Movement of sprites is good but could be better. ^^' focus more on small things with movement.
-I'd like to see a little more enviroment in the scene with the lightning strike: maybe rocks flying from where it hit to show some kind of strong force or something as a result of the strike. Good job on effects, now utilize the effects along with the background and your comic will make much more logical sense and be better.
-Few grammer errors. Capitilize that "I" I keep seeing. Proofreading shows to us readers you have a well thought out script and that you care about your work! I know you do or you wouldn't have asked me to critique it!
-Experiment more with text, especially in emotion scenes such as when the character says "gaah" you could vary that to match the emotion.
- I love the four panel set up, I'm glad you are continuing it. It looks like a sprite comic should.
-I can see you've become much better since you started your other comic. Keep up the good work, I'm seeing quick improvement and I like that. The comic looks great!
Ettie at 7:34PM, March 24, 2009
my critique is going to be short and sweet: -Really nice bubbles! I'm impressed. You got this down good! Nice job! -Movement of sprites is good but could be better. ^^' focus more on small things with movement. -I'd like to see a little more enviroment in the scene with the lightning strike: maybe rocks flying from where it hit to show some kind of strong force or something as a result of the strike. Good job on effects, now utilize the effects along with the background and your comic will make much more logical sense and be better. -Few grammer errors. Capitilize that "I" I keep seeing. Proofreading shows to us readers you have a well thought out script and that you care about your work! I know you do or you wouldn't have asked me to critique it! -Experiment more with text, especially in emotion scenes such as when the character says "gaah" you could vary that to match the emotion. - I love the four panel set up, I'm glad you are continuing it. It looks like a sprite comic should. -I can see you've become much better since you started your other comic. Keep up the good work, I'm seeing quick improvement and I like that. The comic looks great!
Rage Nakasa at 8:46PM, March 23, 2009
Ouch...