There's a topic about 10 Things You Wished You Knew Before Taking the Sales Floor, but that's for coming up with questions to ask.

This is more about people you've dealt with and what you've done in response. Since I wouldn't ask someone to do something I wouldn't, I'll start off:


Back in 2000 I was working part time at Robinson's*May in California while awaiting my orders to go to MEPS for the Army as part of the Delayed Entry Program. I worked in the area where we sold the more expensive men's clothing. Namely things like Perry Ellis, Men's Claiborne, Ralph Lauren, etc. Well, if you don't take the elevator, the escalator would, literally, bring you up right into my section from the cosmetics area of downstairs. You go down the same way, but on the other side.

Now, mind you, to have two escalators going in two different directions from two different spots takes up quite a bit of room, so there's a massive, and I mean massive, cut out in the floor where you can walk around this large square and see down to the cosmetics section. The hole cut out in the floor was surrounded by GLASS railings so as not to obstruct the view, and about, no kidding, sixty feet across.


Well, I notice a customer looking somewhat lost, mindlessly looking about. She's too far away for me to approach so I just watch her as I have nothing else to do at the time. After about three minutes of spinning around, she leans on the railing and sighs deeply, looks down, looks to the right, looks to the left, and then comes up to me.

Looking me straight in the face after I greet her, she asks, I kid you not, “Do you have an escalator to go down stairs?” Not thinking she was serious, I just blinked for a moment and asked, “Are…are you…Yes we do…”

As god as my witness she then asked me, “Well, were is it? I can't find the thing!” In total disbelief I instructed her to follow me, walked her around to the other side and showed her exactly where it was.

How was I thanked? With her saying, “How was I supposed to find that?! It's tucked over here on the other side!”


Good lord….

Someone once tried to return a tape he had purchased several years ago from a different shop. When I told him to leave he threw it at my head.

People are weird and scary.

Custard Trout
Someone once tried to return a tape he had purchased several years ago from a different shop. When I told him to leave he threw it at my head.

People are weird and scary.

I won't apologize for throwing things at you, but you dare to accuse me of buying something that clearly came from your store? Thats bullshit.

:)

That's…an interesting…story.

You're an incredibly horrible person you know.

Custard Trout
That's…an interesting…story.

You're an incredibly horrible person you know.

I eat kittens.

I'm almost always on register so I have a few messed up stories…

So this lady buys about $300 worth of useless beauty products and we pop a coupon into her bag and she hurries off. About 20 mins. later she comes back. Apparantly she found out about some sort of sale we were having and now wants to return and re-buy everything with a few additonal items in tow. So I do this and return everything. Then she whips out that coupon and five others just like it. I tell her that only one coupon can be used during the transaction. So she wants to return all the stuff again and separate it so that she can use all her coupons. So I'm rescanning everything and she's watching the screen like a hawk. She even had the nerve to try and correct me on an item that was supposed to be free (the free item gets taken off by the computer after you press total, which I told her). So after 45 min. of absolute hell, I bag up all her now separate purchases, grugingly pop a coupon in her bag while she isn't looking and hope I never see her again.

The next day, she returns again! WTF?!

We started a new sale on hand soap. 4 for $10 instead of 3 for $10 when she bought them. So she wanted to return three soaps on her individual purchase and rebuy them with the additional soap

“…since it will be free.” she says. So I ring her up while wanting her to go die and then the total comes out. She owed a penny. Then she had the nerve to try and argue with me about it. I finally forced the computer around to show her that nothing had been incorrectly scanned. So she digs the penny out of her purse, scribbles some stuff on it and hurries off with her free hand soap and I hope she chokes on it.

Don't even get me started on Black Friday.

Customer service eh? Back when I was still doing phone support for a local cable provider I received one call that became a joke around the office. As often happens in Oklahoma during tornado season we had just had a major storm. It was a busy time at the company as we scrambled to coordinate with other local utilities to return service to several areas damaged by high winds.

The phone rang and I answered with the standard greeting.
The customer stated his cable was out. He lived in one of the areas where the Cable lines where buried and therefore undamaged. I asked very nicely if he had power in the house, he said no. He then snapped at me “Well why cant you at least turn my TV service on?” To which I replied: Your power is out and he parried with: “Doesn't the tv power come through the cable?”

To those who don't understand, the TV DOES NOT get its power from the cable line.
If your electric is out so is your tv.

^that was meh

hmm OOH! I know.

Customer called in complaining his product wouldn't turn on. It took much convincing but eventually he got on his knees and checked his power cord for me. Turns out his puppy had gone teething on the electric line. The guy didn't stop crying for 10 minutes.

I have been fortunate enough to not work a single holiday (mostly because I can't hold a job for longer than two months).

Who here has worked as SPRINT OR BOOST MOBILE TECH SUPPORT? I cannot even begin to tell you…augh. Patience was required, yes, but if some asshole customer is yelling at you for something that isn't your fault, calling you every name in the dictionary, I see no reason why I should put up with it…So I gave him the finger (yes over the phone), told him that, sometimes, these things are beyond my control and transferred him.


Unlucky for me SPRINT PCS RECORDS ALL CUSTOMER SERVICE CALLS>


Sprint can suck a fucking cell tower…

I've worked in fast food, department stores, and customer service at a bank (among other things), so I got lots of stories. The best stories probably came out of answering phones at the bank–lots of people calling saying they were in the middle of a divorce, and their checking accounts were overdrawn, and it must have been because of that b***ch ex-wife spending their money, and how can they get that skank off of the checking account? And I would have to explain that they would both need to both sign a form saying we have permission to remove her from the account. …Of course we never got this form back, because why would the ex-wife want to stop spending money?

We had this other old man who called in every day, always talking about how he was going to buy a scooter; he was always very pleasant. Like an old neighbor you would go and have some beer and play poker with, and just chat. Then for the longest time, he stopped calling. We got a little worried because he brightened our day, and we missed hearing his voice. Then one day, we heard from someone that he had been found dead on the side of the road. It was a really sad day.

lastcall
We had this other old man who called in every day, always talking about how he was going to buy a scooter; he was always very pleasant. Like an old neighbor you would go and have some beer and play poker with, and just chat. Then for the longest time, he stopped calling. We got a little worried because he brightened our day, and we missed hearing his voice. Then one day, we heard from someone that he had been found dead on the side of the road. It was a really sad day.

What a bunch of crap. That really sucks. -_-

*rubs hands together*
It's story time!

My first job was at a small fabric store when I was 14 - I didn't help customers - just did inventory. This sweet-looking little old lady came charging up to me one day, grabbed me by both arms and started shaking me furiously, demanding that I give back her buttons because she asked me to hold on to them and I hadn't given them back yet. Another employee walked by at this point (the only similarity between the two of us was our gender), and the lady stopped shaking me, said, “Oh,” and then walked away.

I worked at a call center for General Motors, and we got all kinds of nutty people calling in. One guy was involved in some creepy lawsuit against some guys he said were trying to kill him because he was the illegitimate son of Elvis Presley. He wanted us to pay him $10,000 because his Cadillac was wrecked during a high speed chase with the would-be-killers. Another one asked if I'd like to join him in the backseat of his brand new Buick.

I worked for the electric company for a while, too - and I had people telling me how horrible I was that I cut off electricity during the summer (in the southern US, it gets pretty hot) - but they hadn't paid the bills in over three months. But of course it was just because I was being CRUEL and SPITEFUL and wanted them to DIE. We got all kinds of physical threats, too and had security officers to escort us to our cars so people wouldn't beat us up in the parking lot.

Great times.

Most the time, though, really, people were pretty reasonable - it's just those few atrocious ones that stick in your head the longest.

tea_green
I'm almost always on register so I have a few messed up stories…

So this lady buys about $300 worth of useless beauty products and we pop a coupon into her bag and she hurries off. About 20 mins. later she comes back. Apparantly she found out about some sort of sale we were having and now wants to return and re-buy everything with a few additonal items in tow. So I do this and return everything. Then she whips out that coupon and five others just like it. I tell her that only one coupon can be used during the transaction. So she wants to return all the stuff again and separate it so that she can use all her coupons. So I'm rescanning everything and she's watching the screen like a hawk. She even had the nerve to try and correct me on an item that was supposed to be free (the free item gets taken off by the computer after you press total, which I told her). So after 45 min. of absolute hell, I bag up all her now separate purchases, grugingly pop a coupon in her bag while she isn't looking and hope I never see her again.

The next day, she returns again! WTF?!

We started a new sale on hand soap. 4 for $10 instead of 3 for $10 when she bought them. So she wanted to return three soaps on her individual purchase and rebuy them with the additional soap

“…since it will be free.” she says. So I ring her up while wanting her to go die and then the total comes out. She owed a penny. Then she had the nerve to try and argue with me about it. I finally forced the computer around to show her that nothing had been incorrectly scanned. So she digs the penny out of her purse, scribbles some stuff on it and hurries off with her free hand soap and I hope she chokes on it.

Don't even get me started on Black Friday.

OMG!!!! sounds like you worked at Bath and Body Works!
I'm so sorry lol.

Custard Trout
Someone once tried to return a tape he had purchased several years ago from a different shop. When I told him to leave he threw it at my head.

People are weird and scary.

Wow he is wierd, hes obviously got a phsycological problem

I work at a certain grand-scale American pharmacy mega-chain and the other day this sour customer complained to the manager that after I asked “Can I help you with anything?” I ran away from her! Well, I felt I kinda had to because she was literally RUNNING ME OVER with her cart–like, it jutted into my side, so of course I had to make the dodge!

Agh–homocidal customers!

And then she made the snide remark that my coworkers and I needed better training, to which I replied that I was technically still on my break so I was just being nice to her. *grrrrrrr*

There! Feels sooooo good to vent.

Well, let's see what I've got to say

When I was 16, I used to work for a video rental place. One day, this woman comes in (Round about 20) and goes over to the adult section. She comes back with a DVD and asks to buy it, not rent. I told her it was only available to rent, not buy. She says no, she has to buy it before her dad or uncle comes in and sees it. I told her it was against company policy and she storms out in a huff. I checked the cover before I put it back and lo and behold, she was on the front, pouring whipped cream over her bare breasts and playing with herself under a red g-string. Next day, I'm on vaccuum duty and the air-con has broken, so I got the fan going near me. The same woman walks past me and then, of all things to happen, the fan blows up her dress and we discover she was trying to steal the DVD by hiding it under her dress. And before anyone asks, no she was not wearing underwear.

Any other story I have pales in comparison to that one

Aussie_kid
Well, let's see what I've got to say

I must hear it! :)

And; did you let her take the disk? I would have ^_^

wow

reading this thread in class was not a good idea. sniggering draws attention…

so i worked in wal*mart last year… answering phones, and letting people into the fitting room. i guess it was a tolerable job compared to when i was doing heavy labor in the kraft factory.

but, lots of disgusting things happen in wal*mart.. REALLY disgusting things..
i've had to pull out the chemical cleaners sometimes, and we've had to bag up clothing that gets “stuff” on it. “stuff” being a very general term for any of several things.

the situation that tops that is when some middle aged lady decided to try on like eight bras when she had an open, bleeding sore on her side. durrrrrrrrrrrr.

you know what else?
for some reason, after old ladies hit like, 70, they NEVER shut the fitting room door when they change clothes! i've had to actually shut like eight doors for people–!

ugh! ugh ugh ugh.

shaneronzio
Gasping…he cannot talk, he sits in a Chair…he is trying to tell me something, He …
NEEDS OXYGEN.

Given the rest of the story… Maybe he needed the oxygen to stave off the effects of his poisonous arse gas? That certainly would have protected him just fine as he destroyed your toilets with it ;)

ozoneocean

Aussie_kid
Well, let's see what I've got to say

I must hear it! :)

And; did you let her take the disk? I would have ^_^

Nah. Second she got caught in the breeze, the manager pulled the plug and took it off her, before leading her away. Maybe he gave it to her, I have no clue. But, I remember he once gave another guy a naughty DVD because when he returned it, he kept talking about ‘Jizzing’. I'll only go into details of his talking if it gets requested though. Don't need to be offending people with such vile dirtiness they didn't want to hear about.

Also, I know my mum's got some great ones from her 27 years at the commonwealth bank, especially from when she was working there when she was 16, so maybe I shall relay some of those as well.

Aussie_kid
Maybe he gave it to her, I have no clue.

Hawhawhaw, given the no panties, that sounds very rude… lol!

blu
but, lots of disgusting things happen in wal*mart.. REALLY disgusting things..
i've had to pull out the chemical cleaners sometimes, and we've had to bag up clothing that gets “stuff” on it. “stuff” being a very general term for any of several things.

Been there, Blu. I've had to clean poop out of fitting rooms, sinks, shoe boxes, the middle of the isle and then one guy walks in the door one time, drops his pants and takes a poo right there by the service desk. I had to clean it up but wasn't there when it happened.

That being said, I've also had multiple death threats and a couple of physical attacks on my person. The one thing I've learned is not to lose my cool. They'll leave but you have to stick around especially when you're a manager. You just keep reminding yourself that you can't stoop to their level.

Kota
Been there, Blu. I've had to clean poop out of fitting rooms, sinks, shoe boxes, the middle of the isle and then one guy walks in the door one time, drops his pants and takes a poo right there by the service desk. I had to clean it up but wasn't there when it happened.

That's just not right… Who else thinks that people who do that need to be “kulled”?

Kota

blu
but, lots of disgusting things happen in wal*mart.. REALLY disgusting things..
i've had to pull out the chemical cleaners sometimes, and we've had to bag up clothing that gets “stuff” on it. “stuff” being a very general term for any of several things.

Been there, Blu. I've had to clean poop out of fitting rooms, sinks, shoe boxes, the middle of the isle and then one guy walks in the door one time, drops his pants and takes a poo right there by the service desk. I had to clean it up but wasn't there when it happened.

That being said, I've also had multiple death threats and a couple of physical attacks on my person. The one thing I've learned is not to lose my cool. They'll leave but you have to stick around especially when you're a manager. You just keep reminding yourself that you can't stoop to their level.

Ew are you serious?!
I worked security at a hospital and one guy pissed in the sink in the ER. So glad I didn't have to deal with that!

ozoneocean

Kota
Been there, Blu. I've had to clean poop out of fitting rooms, sinks, shoe boxes, the middle of the isle and then one guy walks in the door one time, drops his pants and takes a poo right there by the service desk. I had to clean it up but wasn't there when it happened.

That's just not right… Who else thinks that people who do that need to be “kulled”?

or taken outside to be flogged. while they are flogged hard, set up a big screen TV and pop in the video of them doing it earlier as to publicablly humiliate them.

Aurora Moon

ozoneocean

Kota
Been there, Blu. I've had to clean poop out of fitting rooms, sinks, shoe boxes, the middle of the isle and then one guy walks in the door one time, drops his pants and takes a poo right there by the service desk. I had to clean it up but wasn't there when it happened.

That's just not right… Who else thinks that people who do that need to be “kulled”?

or taken outside to be flogged. while they are flogged hard, set up a big screen TV and pop in the video of them doing it earlier as to publicablly humiliate them.

If they can defecate in a store, I don't think that they'll be too humiliated by anything dished out to them

I have 9 years experience working in retail, so I have a good amount of stories. I started off working at a Media Play in the books section throughout high school, eventually running the section part time. I then went to college and worked at Best Buy in the media department for 2+ years, eventually running out several supervisors and running the department myself (first day was my 21st birthday, and I was in the store at 6am, arrested 3 kids for trying to shop lift an ICP CD), and then went into securty in a different store for about another year…I was a supervisor in that department. Started investigating my GM for internal theft in excess of $30,000 and non-compliance with mandatory state safety and ethical business practices.

Suffice it to say, I left there as fast as I could, and now have a cushey job in advertising. ;)

I'll share the first day at Best Buy story here, for entertainment. It's my first day in the store, and we open around 9am. I've already been in the store getting everything ready since about 6am, so I'm kind of tired. These three punks kids, maybe 13 years old, come into the store sporting ICP hoodies, go over by the ICP CDs, and b-line it for the bathroom.

Now, I'm no fan of ICP, but even I heard about the band encouraging their fans to try to steal the album, so I'm instantly suspicious and decide now would be a good time to go “wash my hands.”

I kick the door to the bathroom open, making as much noise as possible. The kids are all in the corner, huddled around each other.

“What are you guys doing?” I ask.
“Just using the bathroom,” they reply.
“In the corner?” I ask. “Because there are urinals for that sort of thing.”

After they don't answer, I come back with the cold hard facts:

“Alright, I'm not going to pretend that you're smart enough to realize why I'm in here. I know you have an ICP CD, and I know you're trying to steal it. I'm going to give you two options:

1) I walk out of here with the CD and you leave the store.
2) I don't walk out of here with the CD, and you leave the store…in handcuffs.”

They keep denying that they have it, so I say “Fine, your decision has been made” and walk out. The kids drop the CD and book for the door, where I'm already blocking their exit with the security force. Eventually, an older gent walks up behind the kids and says, “What's the problem here?” One of the kids turns around the punches the gent in the face.

Instantly, the gent subdues the kid and throws him to the ground, dislocating his shoulder. He looks at me and the security guard and says, “This minor ha just struck an off-duty police officer. Make sure the cops know that when they call social services to come pick these punks up.”

The cops are at the store inside of 3 minutes (record time, or so I'm told) and they take the kids into the back office which lacks a security camera. Within 10 minutes they have the name and phone number of every kids these punks know who's stolen anything in the area, as well as an itemized list of what they've taken. The kids go to juvey for criminal theft (theft in excess of $20) and assault.

That night I went home and bought some vodka, put it in the freezer, and went to bed. It was an interesting 21st birthday, but I had to come back the next day at 6am and do it all over again…minus the punk kids. ;)

Pfft… you guys have had cushy retail jobs. Cushy, I say! There have been 2 shooting deaths in the parking lot where I work over the years. Also involving guns are the numerous times we've been held up (once involving me personally– I couldn't tell you what the guy looks like now, but I'll always remember that 9mm handgun he pointed at me), the also numerous times the bank branch at the front of the store has been held up, or that time the guy with the revolver fired a round into the aspirin shelf to prove to the manager that he did indeed have a real gun.

But before we put in security cameras it used to be real bad. lol!