Barguest
You put the butter rum lifesavers in the middle of the room and wait, you hear a rumbling. There, bursting up from the middle of the floor is a great mole-man-mutant, knowing that their underground civilization depends on it's imports of butter-rum lifesavers, and knowing how their claws can pierce through almost anything up to titanium, you sucessfully lure the mole person into the room. You see that he collects the lifesavers dantily making sure each one is genuine. You grab the thumb-tack run to the center of the room, grab the mole and get him into a headlock, you take your thumtack and threaten to stab him in the nose if he doesn't do exactly as you say, and you throw in that if he does you'll let him keep the lifesaver. The mole-man agrees. He takes you up to the surface where you find yourself smack-dab in the middle of India, oh no! You keep walking through the steamy hot jungle and evetually find a village. Noone in the village speaks English and you see that they are simple people with little use for technology. You speak to the richest man in the village and see that he has the compass. You then challenge him to a game of cards to determine who wins. You end up winning the game and get the compass, but you give him the pack of cards to be a good sport. The man congratulates you and says in his own native tongue “May you be blessed by the Jelly of a thousand Buffalo” which somehow, accounting with the language and the dialect sounds like “I will slit your stomach across and rape your innards!” You run fast as you can with the compass and the map of india down the road, and find an abandoned car. You take the car and are cruising down through Bombay and after only 8 months of telemarketer slave labor you have enough to buy a plane ticket home.
Actually, you could just stop imagining you're trapped in that room. But you get an A for effort. Or… affort.
comicmasta
You build a cigar smoking robot, but it goes crazy, what do you do?
That's not a brainteaser. That… That doesn't even make much sense, really.
~IJ
NEXT BRAINTEASER: Get out your physics books, kids! You are sitting in the back of a taxi holding a string tied to a helium-filled mylar balloon that you are taking to a friend's birthday party. It's raining, so all of the windows in the car are closed. When you get in the car and get all situated, the balloon is floating in mid-air, motionless, in the middle of the car. Suddenly, the driver hits the gas pedal. Which direction does the balloon move? Does the balloon move at all?