freakenburger
Minor Virus.
Effect: Makes regular people start liking minor characters. The infected normally rejects main characters saying they are lame. This infection can lead to death (by screaming) if the infected person's favorite minor character dies.

Treatment: creating a shrine and/or a doujin to show some appreciation for the character, or having some cookies while listening to quiet and peaceful music like those of the Rammstein records.

rammstein ftw

Flake Lorenz Virus: Caused by listening to too much Rammstein. You suddenly become nearsighted and randomly have spasms at the worst of times possible. However, your skills with a keyboard are unmatched.

The cure is listening to another awesome metal band, like Rob Zombie or Lordi.

masturbaticulus sinfulucus, better known as Temptation of the Flesh type A

Caused by touching yourself at night.
Effect: You turn blind and your hand gets hairy.
Treatment: A trip to Hell's cleansing fire for a decade or ten should do.

Coveinant
(you guys are still pathetic at making a decent virus)

Chibi anime virus. this virus has a strange effect on you. You suddenly become an anime character, meaning immortality and eternal youth, but you shrink to about 18". you are forced to suffer a humiliating and degrading life for eternity.

Shplane ass virus. you basically are an ass to those who think differently than you and try to prove them wrong on matter you have no idea you are getting into. currently infected: 2,753, all DD members including original infectee.

O rly? O hay luk! A virus!

Coolius Maximus Delusionus OR The I think I'm cool virus

Symptons: Making of Sprite Comics, bad spelling, Delusions of Coolness, Swelling Ego, Thickening of the skull, Aggressiveness, annoying, lame and otherwise dumb comments/insults.

Contraction: It is a disease that is caused by being a huge ass. *Not to be confused with Big Bumitis.*

Cure: A good old fashion ass whooping.

Uncyclopedia Virus

Symptoms:
-The pacient starts to use Uncyclopedia in his/her serious researches and starts to get bad grades at school/university.
-The pacient thinks he/she is living in a fantsy world.

The terminal stage of the sickness is when the pacient strats believing that Chuck Norris is actually God, and that All Your Base Are Belong To (insert some crap here).

Treatment: Insert a bullet in the victim's head with a revolver, pistol, cannon, missile or atomic bomb. If the pacient is not dead or turned into a human vegetable, he/she is cured.