“Any dude can be a brah, but it takes a MAN to be a bro. Yo.” Heh.

“cross my heart, smack me dead, stick a lobster on my head”

I like to say “Thank goodness you're here!” as a greeting.

ozoneocean

patrickdevine
I like to say “Thank goodness you're here!” as a greeting.

Interesting. Could go either way. Very interesting.

I just say “G'day”. Always have. In highschool my social studies teacher mused to the class that the reason I did that was because I couldn't remember people's names. How right he was!
I still can't. My brain can't come up with the name fast enough, or with any silly wordy greeting, so I just say “G'day”.

You see you don't have to say someone's name with G'day, but if you say “Hi” or “Hello” or something similar it sounds pretty rude if you don't say their name as well. Unless you tack on something like “sexy”, “ugly”, “beautiful” etc, but that's too much work, especially in the morning. -_-

I can't remember names either so I just say, “Hey” whiling rasing my hand at them. Its a friendly greeting that has infected a good many of my friends.

Here's another one that I have as one of my signatures in another forum…

“In the beginning, there was nothing. In the end, there'll be nothing.”

“Go team me!”
“Go team *insert name*!”
“Not *insert name*!”

normal favs-
“rawr rawr rawr she bear, i don't understand a word you're saying”
“feel the happy”
“hm”
“it's a mystery”
“i know”
“basically…”
“yay for tuesday!”

angry favs-
“you'll get yours”
“hm”

too tired to remember english or any other language favs-
“goophum tes” (translates somewhat into go away)
“kata” (translates into attack)
“hmn” (translates into hm)

Hahaha, what?

Disgruntledrm
“There are 11 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.”

More like “10”.

“It's made from apples. Well, mostly apples.”

“Have fun!” As a parting line, or words of encouragement, or any other situation that seems aproperate.
I picked up “what the dickens” as an alternate to other expressions of surprise that I can not use at work.

Me: “Hey, guy!”

Guy: “What's the deal?”

Me: “Gee, I don't know. I was just wondering… DID YOU STEAL MY SHOES!?”

Guy: “No, man! I swear!”

Me: “Liar!”

Guy: “No, wait! I can explain!”

Me: “I'm going to punch you right in your face!” *punches guy in face*

Guy: “BLAARGH! No, stop! I think I'm going to throw up!”

Me: “Good! It will be a fitting punishment!” *punches guy in face again*

Guy: “BLAARGH! I'm gonna throw up! I'M GONNA THROW UP!!! *vomits blood all over himself*

Me: ”Via con dios, perro estupido.“ *bashes the guy's head in with a claw hammer*

Bystander: ”What in God's name have you done? I saw everything. You won't get away with this.“

Me: ”Won't I? REEEOOOOAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!“

Bystander: ”NOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!“ *curls up into a fetal position and dies from a massive heart attack*

Me: ”Ha ha ha! Well, I guess what they say about sticking your hand inside a camel's ass is true – I am hungry!"

“Gotta stay classy!” usually after saying something completely off color.

“God fuck me!” when I'm really pissed.

“I don't give a fuck, I really don't.” to just about anyone trying to explain something I honestly don't give a flying shit about.

“Wow…I wouldn't mind breaking that…” about a female.

“Go fuck yourself.” is a common one, too.

—
Oh, while not what I'm proud of:

“Hey, I need someone to talk to for a bit…” followed by them rambling on about something and then they go to hang up or leave, to which they get all apologetic and say sorry for talking so long and then asking if I want to talk about my problem later, to which I reply, “I guess it wasn't that fucking important, now is it. Don't worry about it.”

bros before hoes

Angry favs

“I'll smack you upside the head.”
“I'll smack you upside the head with a fluffy cat.”
“BULL!”
“I'll shove this cat where the sun dosn't shine.”

You can tell I have alot of cats and I know how to use them.

“A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.”

- Mitch Hedberg.

I say some stuff,that are usually exclaimed,in a very neutral way. Like “Ow.”
I also swear a lot and usually say cookies without a reason.

Forgot “For the love of Mike!” is one I use a lot.

It's not a favourite, but it's definitely something funny…

* In an electronics store in Glasgow in which a display has a woman sniffing a thick towel that looked like a carpet swatch*
Me (17): HEY DAD, SHE'S SNIFFING CARPET! LOOK DAD, LOOK! LOOK AT THE LADY SNIFFING CARPET, THE DAFTY!
Dad: Shhh. Don't shout that out loud.
Me: *Confused* Why?
Dad: *Whispering* That's what lesbians do.


As for something I've heard recently (Well for the third time. But it was this week I saw it the 3rd time.) that's funny…

Kevin Bridges:
A seen a sign sayin' “Have you seen this man?”. So a phoned up. An' a said “Naw.”

I'm a big fan of this one from P J O'Rourk.

“The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.”

It seems like good advice to live to.

My favourite quote is by the genius Douglas Adams: Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

That and a recent saying from one of Canada's Worst Drivers when he burned out the transmission on a stick-shift car: IT SMELLS LIKE BURNING BABIES!

Lol I love that show.

ragles
My favourite quote is by the genius Douglas Adams: Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

That and a recent saying from one of Canada's Worst Drivers when he burned out the transmission on a stick-shift car: IT SMELLS LIKE BURNING BABIES!

Lol I love that show.

Great… you just had me looking up the show on YouTube. Too bad they don't show it around here. But maybe I can pitch the idea to a certain radio station and they can make a local show like it (we have a ton of bad drivers here… and lots of them end up dying on the road). We call them “bonehead drivers”… :)

“The green one's nice”

"As the inkeeper said to Mary and Joseph- '**** you AND the donkey you rode in on!'“

”**** yourself sideways with a bent pole“

”Jebus ******* Christ!“

”hmm, what do I have to do now…?"

Faliat
Kevin Bridges:
A seen a sign sayin' “Have you seen this man?”. So a phoned up. An' a said “Naw.”

Hamish and Andy (these Australia radio show hosts) do this section where they call up people in the newspaper (the people are looking for something so they post it in the newspaper) and Ham and Ando tell them that they don't have what they're lookin' for. It's pretty funny.

ozoneocean
“The green one's nice”

Thanks for the compliment :D

TheFlyingGreenMonkey

ozoneocean
“The green one's nice”

Thanks for the compliment :D

Don't flatter yourself. *Rolls eyes*

ParkerFarker

Faliat
Kevin Bridges:
A seen a sign sayin' “Have you seen this man?”. So a phoned up. An' a said “Naw.”

Hamish and Andy (these Australia radio show hosts) do this section where they call up people in the newspaper (the people are looking for something so they post it in the newspaper) and Ham and Ando tell them that they don't have what they're lookin' for. It's pretty funny.

I was going to change my mind and go for his description of Edinburgh in five words as “England Wif Tartan Gift Shops” but I changed my mind last minute.

Lonnehart
Great… you just had me looking up the show on YouTube. Too bad they don't show it around here. But maybe I can pitch the idea to a certain radio station and they can make a local show like it (we have a ton of bad drivers here… and lots of them end up dying on the road). We call them “bonehead drivers”… :)

You can watch it here: http://www.discoverychannel.ca/Showpage.aspx?sid=12914

If you can't find it on youtube :)

When shit hits the fan “Interesting,” or “Well fuck.” Every now and again I'll let slip with a “What the, mother, peice of, son of a-” I also say “the cake is a lie” and whenever anyone says “I've got a question,” I say “42.”

“When life hands you lemons, tell life to go fuck itself!”
“I'm not an angry person, I just cant stand all the stupid people around me.”
“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Buddy”
“Good golly miss molly”
“But masta! you said I could be the ___ one!”
“Don't anger my robots”

“There's no i in team, but there's an i in WIN.”