“A pig huh? I can think of about twenty ways we could prepare it for long distance travel,” Hakoshen begins to elaborate, but the creature ducked behind Zach and squealed loudly as Hakoshen eyed it. With a shrug, he walked away. “Better we fatten him up anyways.”

Narration 3

Zach lifts the pig above his head giving Hakoshen a dirty look.

“You cant eat him. Ive already named him.”

Laurence turned his head around while chewing on a piece of fruit.
“So have I. I call him Snack.”

Zach stared at Laurence.

“You have any of that fruit left?”

“Nope… Ok yeah. I do. But you arent getting any. Private reserve.”

Green popped his head in as if he just appeared from nowhere.

“How much have you got?”

Laurence discarded the fruit core and whipped his lips.

“Alot.”

“Youre a part of this group now so if you dont want to share we can easily leave you behind.”

He began to express a genuine look of fear. The desert was the only chance he had of getting to another town and the swamp was his only way home. If he was to go through either on his own he knew he'd end up dead.

“Fine. But youre only getting one piece each.”

Everyone gained one piece of fruit.
Add it to your inventory.

Hakoshen shielded his eyes from the sun and looked towards the desert.

“We better go now. Otherwise I dont think we'll make it through uninjured.”

Lily shielded her eyes and tried to look in the same direction.

Laurence began walking. Vast snook up on him.

“You sure you don't have any crack?”

“No but ive got this shiney pipe. I found it in the city once it cleared.”

“A crack pipe?”

“Tobacco pipe. Anyway. Isnt that other guy being a bit quiet? He may wanna buy somethin. I'll keep my wares on sale till he decides.”
(I assume shirk isnt playing or is busy)

Hakoshen began walking towards the desert. The rest of the group followed.
Pig newton has joined the party.
You can do a combination attack with pig newton.
During battle the first to PQ me with either Pork Punt or Baccannon gets to use the attack.




The party now walk into the open sands. Hakoshen leads with Green.
Green looks at Hakoshen. Sweat trickles down his face.
“Im glad i'm undead. You humans seem too affected by the weather.”

“Thats easy for you to say. I bet you cant even feel the heat.”

Lily babysits Zach and Vast as they follow.

Vitious and Laurence drag behind with Pig newton.

Laurence stares at Vitious.

“You sure are quiet. I hope you at least have coins on you.”



They reach the temple.
A huge stone doorway leads into the side of a mountain.

“This is the temple?” Zach said as he put his hand on the stone door.
“Seems so.” Green replied.

The sand began to shift.
A pair of eyes looked up at the group.

Zach screamed
Everyone braced their weapons.

“This is gonna get rough” Hakoshen said readying his rifle.

The sand began to rise as 2 large stone Golems began to rise from the ground.
Guardian Golem 1&2
Stats for both.
HP: 90
Attack: 12
Defence: 20
Agility: 4

Battle instructions in rules

(Tip. Your browser has a find command under the edit heading, Just write in fighting to find instructions in that page.)

“Okay Newton, lets show these over-grown pebbles whose boss!” I lift Newton above my head, and squeeze his belly. He belches, and various weapons and kitchen appliances shoot out.
(I use Baccannon!)

“so we should go after the eyes and legs first right? if we could damage one leg then we could just knock the the damaged golem into the other. would that work?”

“Yeah, that's a good plan! So, should I aim Newton at the bases of the golems then?”

“yup pick a golem and fire away! hopefully the gunslingers can take out the eyes before the golems start attacking back… i wonder if there's any other way to disable the golems- i mean it's a temple right? they must have pilgrims visiting sometimes…”

“So, perhaps this is a test, for pilgrims to show their worth and skill! Maybe it's a warrior god or something, and we have to prove how good we clean up!” I smile a devious smile and say,“After all, I could use a god that actually does something for me!”

by the way. Once settled on your attack PQ me. You can also let me know where you wish to aim your attacks.

And mett didnt notice my signature pipe :(

Ill update the battle narration in 10 hours.

(I did notice the pipe! I just thought you knew I knew, and that I didn't have to prove I knew! What happened to believing people, and their ability to remember jokes? Are those days gone now? Sad times, sad…)

“Okay, so maybe you guys make an opening in the Golems, chip away at them or something, and I fire stuff out of Newton to widen the crack, and cause it to crumble! How does that sound?”

Mettaur
After all, what is life without a few rude jokes here and there?

hell. or heaven for that matter.

rokuily
pic

hilarious but hak isn't black and TFGM's missing his fedora.
just to be avatarly correct.
and yes I would do that.

and someone pq shirkensama to make sure he even knows.

back into “character”



“…”

“Finally get to try this baby out,” Green said with a grin as he inspected the Peace Maker.“Lets make this quick,” Green said as he hefted his Peace Maker in his right hand and his Rusted Revolver in his left hand.

shirkersama
I'm not going to have a consistent source of internet for the next two weeks at the least, so I'm gonna have to end up sitting this one out. Sorry D:

From the signup thread.


Anyways


Hakoshen wiped the sweat from his eyes, and leapt into the fray, easing his finger onto the trigger of his PeaceMaker and taking aim; the first shot was most important and it had to count. But therein was the problem; where to shoot? Golem's didn't have flesh, so shooting it's eyes was simply shooting a hole carved into its head! “Sarge always said the easiest way to take down a fortress,” he said, aiming for it's left knee, “is to destroy it's foundation! I'm open to suggestions though!”

“We should remove the limbs! Break them off from the main body, then it can't control them any longer! If we just topple it over, it'll swipe at us from the ground, like a man who had his leg cut off, we should try and knock it's block off!” The swords and stuff clanged agaisnt the golem, some sticking into the cracks of the brick and stone.“Damn! Minimal to no damage! But we could use them to get up there, maybe someone can climb up and start breaking off the head?”

“hey! golems aren't really alive right? so what makes ‘em go? are there runes or something? or is somebody controling from nearby?” not waiting for a response… “i’m going to try to disable golem a by going after the left leg!”

“Hell if I've ever dealt with Golems before. But knees seem like a good place to start,” Green said as he aimed for the same knee as Hakoshen.

“Okay, go for the leg-benders! But since I don't have a baseball bat this time around-”I aim my piggy at the knee thing, and say,“Newton, I'm goiong to need you to give it your best!”He belches out a sword,“Nope, we need destructive!”He belches out a chair,“Destructive!”He belches out some kinda acid-puke, which disolves the chair.“Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!”
(I'm going to be using the Baccannon.)

Battle narration 1

Zach held the pig high above his head. He aimed Newton at the base of the golems leg. A blender comes flying out of his mouth. The golem takes no heed of the flying appliance as it breaks off its hard stone head.

“That didnt seem to work” Said Zach as he tugged on the tail of the pig.

At that moment a beam of light fires out of Newtons mouth. The beem strikes the leg of the giant Golem. Rock begins to crumble from it exposing a metal beam. The golem can no longer hold itself on both legs. The first leg comes crashing down as the beam snaps. The one legged Golem holds itself up with its other arm.

Zach inflicted 33 damage.

Lily moves quickly in to begin hacking at the other leg. She quickly hacks away large chips of weathered stone.

Lily does 14 damage.

Hakoshen fires his rifle at the eyes of the Golem. It uses its hand to block the shot but the bullet shatters the stone layer. Green fires through the hole in the Golem's hand smashing the glowing eyes.

Hakoshen does 19 damage
Green does 22 damage

Vast waits in the back smoking his pipe.
“This dont have crack! BUT ITS TWICE AS ADDICTIVE” He grins.

Laurence empties each bullet into the remaining eye of the Golem with perfect precision.

Laurence does 3 damage for each bullet. 18 damage.

The first Golem collapses and turns to rubble.
The second Golem picks up the remains of the first.
Each player earns 75 exp

Defense phase

If you have defencive abilities you may PM me to use them.

“So the new douche is using the old douches pipe now? And you don't even help! Also-Eeek!” A giant chuck of Golem is flung at me, I dodge and snap in irritation,“That's it! Listen, I'll fade into the shadows, we all attack from the back, knock it over! Kay?” I run, and duck into the shade of a golem piece, become one with the shadows.

Battle Narration

Zach vanishes. The huge Golem throws the remains of its partner into the air. Rubble hails down on everyone. Zach reappears as he is hit by the falling hail.

(Can't hid from an AOE Attack)

Zach is hit with 12 damage
Lily is hit with 11 damage
Hakoshen is hit with 18 damage
Green is hit with 14 damage
Vast is hit with 19 damage
Laurence is hit with 11 damage

Attack Phase

Same as before.

Also sorry. Had assignments and a radio drama to do.

Is anyone even playing?

Yes. I was preoccupied yesterday.

“It's called strategy. Ow. That's it.”

Shoots the damn thing in the eye.

"Stupid damn rock thing. C'mon guys."

Hakoshen readies to make another general attack on the golem…

((Its called life. It gets in the way of things that are important…like forum base RPGs))

“Think your right Crack Head,” Green said as he raised his guns and pointed it at the golem.

(I have one too you know. Thats why im wondering if you where all just quiting was there any point In the next narration.)

ANYWAY!

Battle narration 3

Vast stands up readying his pistol.
“Well, I guess id better help.”
He aims the gun for the eye of the Golem, before he can squeeze the trigger
Green fires his rifle without aiming to hit the golem in the eye.

Green does 21 damage

Vast gives green a swift dirty look
“I can do that too you know!”
Steadying his pistol he aims carfully for the other eye of the
giant stone Golem. He squeezes the trigger and the bullet explodes from
his gun. The Golems eye shatters.

Vast does 18 damage

Hakoshen aims his rifle and fires it quickly, the bullet smashes through its eyes.


Hakoshen does 23 damage


“I dont get whats so special about this. Are we having a competition or something.”

Zach didnt notice that he had just been struck with what was easily a ton worth of rubble. He tried to climb up the sholder of the Goliath to pluck its eye. He was quickly brushed off. He lands on his back. Picking himself up again he fishes around in his pocket for his fruit.

Zach eats a fruit. It restores 20 hp.

Laurence reloads his six shooter, he empties his bullets into the knee of the golem.

Laurence does a further 18 damage.

The Golems knee becomes weak. It crumbles as the Golem comes crashing down.

Defence Phase

Submit your defence skill, etc…

(Also. Just trying to give every one a chance to decide what to do. Life goes on.)

Green moved back. Furthering the distance between him and the Golem. Once he was far away enough he stopped and assumed a defense postision.

“Hm, good fruit. Tasty.” As I see the Golem preparing to attack, I start digging frantically. I make a small-sized crater big enough to hide a watermellon in, I lie in it and throw my overcoat over myself, and throw some sand on top. After moving the sand around over my coat, I am camoflauged.

Battle narration 4

Green eats his fruit replenishing 20 hp.

Zach begins digging himself a hole.

Hakoshen looks at the rouge as he pushes the sand away with his hands.
“Digging your own grave?”

Zach ignores him and continues to dig.

The Golem prepares to attack, swinging its huge arm back it stops half way.
The Golem smashes its own chest. The cracks between its rock like exterior begin to glow.

The Golem self destructs.

Machine parts and rock shards fly in different directions as a sand cloud surrounds everyone.

Everyone apart from Zach and Green takes 12 damage.

Zach takes 5 damage
Green takes 8 damage
Laurence takes 10 damage

The cloud of sand settles.
Green and Hakoshen brush off their minor wounds. Everyone else was unprepared. They recieved more damage.

Everyone recieves 75 exp.
Level ups all round.
Everyone advances to lvl 2.

(By that i mean they sayd that they would be defending. Golem battle took to long so i killed it off.)



Laurence disappeared.
Hakoshen turned to Green raising an eyebrow.
“Wheres that little guy?”
Zach poked his head out from the top of the stone door way.
“How did you get up there?” Green said confused.
“Golem blast” Zach exclaimed.
He jumped from the 20 foot doorway, rolling from where he landed right into the remains of one of the golems.
“What now” Said green.
“We go in” Hakoshen said staring into the dark entrance to the temple ruins.

(A chance to roleplay.)

So…should we respect this Earth God, or can I start stealing things? Cuz that glowing jewel that robed girl has over there looks pretty valuable. And shiny.

Zach rubs his eyes as he halucinates.

Vast begins to walk away. Zachs head turns to the side to catch a glimpse of Vast leaving.

“Where are you going?”
“Things to do.”

Vast disappears off into the desert.

Vast has left the party.

“People leaving, people dying, at least there will be more between us…I'm starting to see things, we should probably get away from the stuffy entrance, find a nice cool spot to rest…” I squat down to Newton's level,“How's that sound to ya buddy? Want to take a break?”