You tell them that it's international “Have your fly open without underwear on Day” Or just kill em all.

Next: You arrive home from a wild party, you drank lots of beer, etc. and its time for you to go home. They notice that you're acting a little strange and ask you what did you do there.

What do you do!? What do you do!?

“i ate a bunch of penut butter and its making my speech sound funny” then you run off to bed to sleep it off.
_____________________

your a 13 year old boy and your mom is at work. you look up some porn and mastubate right infront of the computer. Your mom came home early and walks in on you *fap fap faping right there*
what do you do?

your a 13 year old boy and your mom is at work. you look up some porn and mastubate right infront of the computer. Your mom came home early and walks in on you *fap fap faping right there*
what do you do?

“funny story really I was drinking soda and spilled it on my self so I took my pants off
and a while my pants were off a bee came in and stung me and I'm trying to yank out the stinger thing”
————————
new: your parents are away and it's your birthday , so you wake up go downstairs and start to make breakfast ,your favorite, really greasy bacon while reading porn. you were you were sleeping with no shirt on and spill grease all over yourself,and it's all over you even your pants and such when your girlfriend walks in to wish you a happy birthday. Stunned she asks what on earth you're doing!
what do you do!

solution: flee to mexico, and if you already live in mexico, flee to africa.

situation:
you're getting dressed and ready to work. it's a beutifal day outside, so you decide to walk to work, but on the way, people keep staring at you. ignoring the people completely, you walk into your work place and begin taking peoples orders, since you are a waiter at a restraunt, but everyone keeps giggling as you take their orders. then someone points down at your legs. you look down to see what they're pointing at, thinking it's a food stain on your pants, only to realise you arn't wearing any!

(this is easy)

say: “oh yes, well you see its a funny story, my family has a tradition that every *insert day* we dont wear pants…its a religious thing…”


unless its a family restaraunt…then your screwed…





okay, so your in the school hallway your about to ask the girl/guy of your dreams out. your just finishing asking when a friend walks up and says “whoa! dude your right he/she is kinda ugly now” what do you do???

I'd Say "Yea man is totally ugly“ then turn back to crush and tell her that you brought up the girl days ago to get out of that situation

New: Ok so you and your Girl/Boyfriend just had your ”First time" and it was mind blowing. But you are parched from all of the screaming, so you asked your Girl/Boyfriend do they have anything to drink. He/She gets up and shows you to the mini fridge in the back. Your worried about Him/Her's parents coming in, but she/he reassures you that they will be gone to his/her little brothers soccer game and won't be back for an hour, only to find that her parents and little brother, who are soaking wet, staring directly at both of you, stark naked, The game ended due to rain and their home early.

Get out of that!

tell them you knew there'd e rain, but all the other clothes were dirty, so you and your girl/boy friend unselfishly gave up your clothes for them and if they say anything, that automatically makes them ungrateful butt-holes.

allright, you're in your first year of college, are sitting in the front of the room and feel a pain in your gut. it's gas. happens to everyone right? you let it rip thinking it cant be too big and you'll smother it with your pants, but it's a little more then you bargained for and you end up messing your pants. and it's the watery kind like after you eat chile, so if you get up, it'll leak out of your pant legs leaving a trail to the bathroom, but if you stay, everyone will smell it. you have 30 seconds to react before everyone knows! what do you do?

Wait for 28 seconds then shout “Damn,(person next to me)you got stomach problems or somthin?!?!?”Then Be the last one to leave the room and then make a run for the bathroom raising the leg the poop might come out of.








There's company at your house,you go to the bathroom to pee then not knowing how loud the water was you left the door open believing that no one will come.When the pee hits the water it somehow echos through the house then the person there says “You know how long it is by the sound,you knew that?”Then your mom starts laughing and you get the feeling to flush your head down the toilet.(this actually happened)

I would announce proudly “When you are built like a race horse, you pee like a race horse!”

—————————————————————————

You are having a dream that you are getting married to a baboon but then just after you say “I do” you realise that this is not a dream, you are just very drunk and you are in fact marrying a damn dirty ape in front of all your friends and relations.

Inform everyone that you're defeating the ape overlords by contamination of the genetic pool.


Upon entering an empty elevator you quickly discover the lingering aftereffect of a previous passenger. It's bad enough to peel paint. The door closes before you can bail, so you hold your breath and push your floor number. Before reaching your floor, the door opens and in walks a celebrity that you've admired for years. His/her nose wrinkles in disgust as he/she glares at you accusingly…

“What?” “It wasn't me…oh really is that what you think well…THE BUCKET LIST SUCKED!!!!!”(Morgan Freeman)








You get flamed then banned by Ozone

NECRO POST!

First, you move across town so that you're elligible for a new ISP, and then you start up a new account, a new comic, and a new life. Then, once things have stabilized, you start up new comic featuring photgraphs one yourself naked, smeared with strawberry preserves, with large, glaring captions, “WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME OZONE?! WHYYYYYYYY??”


You and a friend have long since desired to go cosplaying, but neither of you ever had the courage or the resources to actively participate in one of these events. So both take your homemade costumes which turned out amazingly well and head out towards the local convention hall. Everything is going well until some idiot with a mask and a gun decides he's going to take everyone at the hotel hostage and screams at the top of his lungs his intent to start killing people in five minutes. You panic, and start to run, but just as you do, your friend does as well and standing on a stray thread from your costume, serves to unravel your outfit leaving you running stark naked through the convention hall.

It's not until you get to the doors of the hotel you realize that this whole thing was actually someone in character, and no one was at risk. At this point, you don't want anything more than to get out of there, but your keys and wallet were both in your costume and now you're standing naked in the doorway of a very crowded convention. And that's when people start taking pictures.