Dear Santa,
How are things at the North Pole?
I hope the elves are working hard with Christmas fast approaching.
Has Mrs Claus been cooking some yummy dishes?
I bet she has. You always seem so pleasantly plump.
I was wondering…
I know I have been good this year…
I have worked hard and have taken care of my family helping with doing chores around the house and taking out the trash…
My hope this year is that Gwen doesn't get all the toys since its her second Christmas but her first one where she actually can open gifts and play with them.
I know I don't want much but I am hoping if you can…
I wish for a XBox 360 or a Drawing Tablet.
If you can't… I understand.

Sincerely,
TheMidge28

Dear Santa,

it's been a while, hasn't it? Almost a year, even. How've you been? Well, I hope. And Mrs. Santa? Say hello to her from me! Oh, and to the elves! They must be having a field day at the factory this time of year.

I'm doing well enough, I'd say. I've been a good man, done nothing wrong, took care of my fellow humanitarians, gave money to charity, etc. But sometimes, you know, it feels like I'm only giving. It's always giving. I bet you know exactly how that feels. But you get milk and cookies every now and then…I wish someone would give me some molk or cookies. Or another controller for my 360. Or maybe a PS3. You know? Some recognition! I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Anyways, that's it for me. Have a great Christmas this year, say hi to the reindeer, and do come by to visit me when you find the time.

Best regards,
Rutger.

santa:

i want robocop. or at least an xbox 360. (but i would prefer the former, fully functioning please). gimme gimme. and if you give me coal again this year i swear i will hunt you down and decapitate rudolph.

kthxbai,

amz

Dear Santa,

Hi! How are you? I'm doing just great myself, doing very great this year actually, and I was woundering if I could have the following things for X-Mas;

1. Eve figure form Apple Geeks.
2. Some new copic markers.
3. A class ring.
4. Some new pants.
5. Selected comics that I love.
6. Sweaters for my puppy Sammy.
7. Some new CD's and DVD's
And Money.

Thanks Santa!

-Crazyninny

Dear santa,

If you exist could I have:

1. A sandwhich

love from,
That one japanese guy

I'm serious I don't really want much for christmas…

Dear Old Fat man in a Red Suit.

you sonovabitch.

you corporate guilt ho ho ho.

go eat your milk and cookies, fatty.

as for me…gimme a coal mine.

I'll make due with a coal mine…and all the mineral rights that go with it.


Thanks.


Mr.Shane Ronzio
p.s.
my goal is to have that big red bag of yours filled with toys that I design.

B)

shaneronzio
Dear Old Fat man in a Red Suit.

you sonovabitch.

you corporate guilt ho ho ho.

go eat your milk and cookies, fatty.

as for me…gimme a coal mine.

I'll make due with a coal mine…and all the mineral rights that go with it.


Thanks.


Mr.Shane Ronzio
p.s.
my goal is to have that big red bag of yours filled with toys that I design.

B)

Your the guy that sits on top of his roof on the night of X-Mas Eve with a shot gun, just waiting for the Fat Man, aren't ja? XD

Dear santa,

hows the wife? look im sorry about your wife, i didnt know she didnt like dildos, anyway for christmas i would like an inflattable santa for mrs sant . . . i mean marjorie,

sincerly, poke alster

Dear Santa,


I'm onto you.


Love,
Mecha

some of these are real funny!

I think there might be some on the “naughty” list!

Dear Santa Claus,

I wan a dolly for Chrismas, a bike and lotz of candy.
and pleese kill evryone I hate.

Luv,
Sarah

P.S. I have been xtra xtra good ths year! I only stabed 1 person!

crazyninny
Your the guy that sits on top of his roof on the night of X-Mas Eve with a shot gun, just waiting for the Fat Man, aren't ja? XD

http://www.commissionedcomic.com
Kill the crazy fat guy.

Dear Santa,

I think you missed my house last year. Maybe my street was a long way down the list and you intended to call in on the way back but then ran out of time. Whatever the reason, the mince pies I left out for Rudolph are still there.

They're getting a bit hard now so perhaps you could make sure you come and get them this time. Oh, and we left you a glass of sherry, too, but I drank that. (Well, we had the neighbours in on Boxing Day and not enough glasses to go round …)

Anyway, we still live at the same address, so you can just leave the Porsche in the garage at the back. Next to the Ferrari you were supposed to bring last year.

Oh, and if it helps, you needn't leave anything for the Johnsons at No. 32. They've been naughty and keep putting recyclable rubbish in their non-recyclable bin, so they really don't deserve anything this year.

Many thanks,
DAJB.

P.S. Can you ask Rudoph to dip his nose-light when he gets to our street? It's so bright it tends to wake up all the kids and it can be murder trying to get them back to sleep.

we should just ask santa to come to drunkduck this year. it would ensure that everyone gets what they want from him. :D

Dear Santa,

I want everything.

~Matt

P.S.
your brother Vince Vaughn is a douche

Dear Father Christmas

I hav bin veri gud this yeer an for christmas i wud like a deth fortes an a narmy of death bots wif wich to enslave all worldly nations also cud you plese crush my enemis lik bugs plese?

i want a new tedy bear as wel cus this one smels of wee

fank you

little billy age five and three quarters.

Ho-Ho-Ho!!!
Hello Everyone!
Its so good to be able to talk to all of you!

@ shane…why do you hate me so much?
Is it because that one year when you were 8 and beat up little Billy down the street and expected to get that Megatron Transformer for Christmas and all you got was underwear? Now seriously Shane…what did you expect? You never even apologized to little Billy. But you know what Billy got…yup! A Megatron Transformer! Sucks doesn't it!

Well I hope to respond to everyone and I hope you all have a very merry holiday!!!!


HO-HO-HO!!!!

I don't buy it. Guys, this isn't Santa. It's a monkey in a Santa suit. It's an imposter. DON'T BUY INTO HIS LIES!

Dear Santa.
Would you go gay for me?
Love from Jamie.

Dear Australian Santa,

Stop being a heartless bastard and have the will to kick political correctness in the face and say “ho ho ho”, instead of the watered down “ha ha ha.”

- Myxo.

Dear Strange fat man who breaks into peoples homes,

Sorry, I never believed in you. Though there will be no cookies and warm milk waiting for you and I doubt I'll be asleep by midnight on Christmas eve, I ask for only one thing. Doom. Not the game. Just Doom.


Sincerely,
kitty17

Ps, Can you put it in a box, wrap it up and place a pretty little bow on it? kthxbi

TheMidge28
I think there might be some on the “naughty” list!

Ive being on there for ages :)

lol! lol! lol! lol!

All Hail Santa, Benevolent Giver of Gifts and Distributor of Coal-Based Punishments!

We thank you, Santa, for watching us, even in our most intimate moments. For using your infinite wisdom to judge us, to list us, and to check that list at least twice per year.

You are wise, Santa, and you are good. We give thanks each year to your benevolence, with sacrifices of baked goods and cow excretions on the night of your blessed arrival. Please take these gifts, for they are our love.

But woe be unto the non-believers, the liars, the deceiters, in short: The Naughty. Naughty they are, and theirs is a gift that is no gift at all; but a warning! Yea, the black coal; each year one piece to be distributed to the naughty, until the day they acquire enough to burn them alive with! Beware yourselves, you Naughty ones, for if you doubt the power of Santa, it will not only be chestnuts roasting on your open fire…

Hail Santa,

Reverand Shane B. Woodis
First Church of Santa
Dover, NJ


PS: I want a wacom tablet.

Dear Santa,

I want my kidney back


from,
joe

Dear Santa,

Damn you, jolly bitch. All I wanted was a paint job for my car! Last THREE years that's all I've wanted! And what do I get? Clothes! I don't need no stinking clothes. I give them to the poor every year, more and more. I see what you're trying to do, while my car rusts away to nothing. I hate you. You come on my roof with clothes this year you get the Texas treatment with ol' Matilda.

Srsly. Paint job for Rally or your wife. Your choice.

Love,
Juno

Shanerozio how did you get the laughing emotion?

I had no idea Santa would be in this forum, I must respond. True evil can only happen when good men do nothing…

Dear Mr Claus,

Could you please explain your reasoning behind the coca cola sellout?

I mean, you used to always be dressed in greys and browns. And then suddenly, early last century, it all changed. Suddenly it was all red and white, suspiciously very close to the time coca cola began to market its image in those colours.

And then you started those big, full page ads in Time magazine, suggesting of all things, that you would prefer a bottle of coke instead of a nice glass of milk.

How much did they pay you, dear Santa, to promote this sugary poison to our children, the very same children you say you love.

And what about the toys? Plastic copies of machines of death. Violent video games that only educate in the killing arts.

Are you sitting back right now on some tropical hideaway while your minions distribute these seeds of voilence in our young while your coorporate money fattens your bank accounts?

Shame on you, Mr Claus!!!!

hey if it makes him rich we're all happy

My letter is this:













Oh wait I don't believe in Santa, He's not real.