Ironscarf
Most of all, I'd like to hear any suggestions you may have on how to be a jerk without ruffling too many feathers. Is that possible, or is creating offence the very essence of jerkdom?

Well you're not really being a jerk if people still like you now, are you? Generally, I like to kick people in the teeth then refer them to my webcomic. It's a very sound technique, and certainly grabs attention much better than any banner.

Nah. The key part of being successful in a creative world is to be, y'know, creative. And talented.

A jerkass character can become extremely popular (for whatever bizarre reason) but jerks in real life tend not to be very well liked. Seriously; I've known plenty of people who were complete assholes and had no friends as a result.

If you wanna be a jerk, the easiest way is to have a ridiculously high opinion of yourself, believe that rules don't apply to you (because you're a fucking GOD among men) and that everyone else is a talentless, jealous hack and has no right to even THINK about critiquing your oh-so-flawless work. Hey, if it doesn't sell, it's not your fault; your work is PERFECT and it's not your fault that the public is made up of drooling imbeciles who can't tell good art/comics from a soggy dog shit on the ground.

I have only one thing to say on this topic: punch babies.
It is seriously the most awesomly evil thing to do, plus no matter waht other good things you do you will still be a jerk. And as you know being a jerk is the real key to sucess. Plus its just plain fun :)