Hi all!

As president and founder of my school's improv club, I am a huge fan of improvisational humor. As such, I thought it would be fun to bring one of my favorite Whose Line is it Anyway games to the DD forums. This, ladies and gentlemen, is scenes from a hat!

The rules are very simple. I give a prompt, and you find a way to make it funny.

EXAMPLE: Prompt: Things you can say about your car, but not your girlfriend. Possible Response: “Man, there's a lot of junk in that trunk!”

I'll keep a prompt going until I think people are starting to run out of ideas, then I will give a new prompt.

Whenever I discontinue a prompt I will declare a winner for that prompt. The winner will be the person who gives the funniest quote.

Here is your first prompt: Things not to say during the birth of your first child.

have at it!

dragonestea
Here is your first prompt: Things not to do during the birth of your first child.

have at it!

Randomly yell “pull!”.

If I may answer twice: Question the efficacy of 5 cent condoms. Aloud.

Nice ones! Now I'm gonna change things slightly.

I have altered the prompt a little because, in the spirit of Whose Line, I would like responses to be given in the form of a quote.

speaking of which:

“Wow honey! That's a beautiful baby! I'm going to call my wife and give her the good news.”

In that case:

“No no, that's not the way - aw, come on honey, we're going to a different hospital.”

“If we don't want it, can we just put it back and pretend nothing happened?”

“Shit, it's a girl.”

“That's not the one we ordered”

Well it looks like this prompt has run out of steam.

The winner is OnlyFoolsAndVikings

Next prompt: Failed slogans from the textile industry.

“The all new wool carpet, it's wooly refundable!”

Hello all,
I am the co-founder and co-pres of said organization with dragonestea. He can testify. lol. I would like to try my hand at this particular one:

“Trust me, the carpet matches the drapes.”

Glad to finally have you here Casurus!

“Buy our thick bushy carpet. It only SOUNDS like a euphemism for something else!”

From the book of sodden textiles:

“You can FEEL the difference in our pants!”

Made from human hair.

“The dubstep pants. They're always ready to drop.”

“The all new spill-carpet. You can murder someone with it, spill-free!”

“The one legged pant: Totally not a skirt for dudes!”

“The invisible shirt. It's the hottest thing in women's fashion!”

This prompt appears to have burned out. Ladies and gentlemen our winner is Casurus!


New Prompt: Things you can say about household chores but not women.

“The other kids get paid to do them, why can't I?”

There are just too many to do!

“I seriously need to get paid more for doing it. :/”

YEAH!

“The faster I get them done the better!”

“I simply work best when I do everything by hand.”

AQua_ng wins! FATALITY!

next prompt: What President Obama said when his limo got stuck.

Try to keep political opinions to a minimum, we're just trying to be funny here.

“I think we might need some change…”

“Let me be clear, more importantly we're out of martinis back here.”

“Now I know how my bills feel.”

Wow, that one was way less popular than I anticipated. Win goes to blindsk

next prompt: Things you should say if the largest inmate approaches you in prison.

“Are you serious? How are you going to rape me with that?”