I'm sitting here doing a lot of thinking over a hot cup filled with coffee, with some fake sugar and creamer mixed in. I've been thinking deep into the past, as far as I can remember. So many things flood my mind at once… So many things I could've done… So many paths I could've taken…

Maybe… If I had gone a different direction, I'd have settled down with children of my own just as all of my siblings, cousins, and other relatives have done. I could've made a career out of the military… or I could've finished off college and become something greater… maybe…

One can have so many regrets… so many bad memories that they struggle to forget, but failing to do so. Mixed in with all of that are the good memories, especially the ones you do your best to keep in your heart. There are loved ones who've passed on and on some nights you dream about the great times you had with them. But…

That's all in the past. Time marches on. You keep moving forward no matter what may get in your way or what may try to stop you. I was told it's best not to look back when going into the future, but I do so anyway. After all, you don't know where you're going ‘til you’ve seen where you've been. And in a way, it helps you brace yourself for what might come your way in the future.

heh… sorry about a post like this, but when you're all alone you tend to have a lot of time on your hands and on some days you just don't know what to do with it. Everyone else must have moments like this, right? :)

I think that every introspective person has thoughts like this. Some of us more than others. It's good that you do, because it's important to appreciate life. That means appreciating the good and the bad, and thanking both for getting you where you are.

You never know if one path that seems good (like getting a career or doing the military thing) would have lead to something far worse. It's good to just live your life and enjoy all the moments it brings you. The longer you live it, the more it seems like you base your life on how happy you are and how many good moments you have, instead of how much money you have, how many cars you have, how good your credit score is, etc.

At least, that's how I feel about it. Life isn't worth living if you can't appreciate and enjoy it.

yeah, I've had days like that. :)

when it all gets too much for me, due to it depressing me or something… then I just remember that one TNG episode where Picard was given a chance to change everything about the past that he wished he had done differently, thanks to Q.

Picard then became an completely different person–he wasn't captain anymore, and he became an even more pathetic loser than Barclay himself (j/k) because he never took risks, never did anything stupid in order to learn from the hard lessons, etc. Just became this boring, flat character whose name nobody could remember for very long.

and so Picard had everything back to the way it was before, and he was now glad for his past experiences instead of regretting every single thing he did. After all, those experiences were what made him an kickass captain, and with many friends.

You cannot change the past. It is what it is. You can only use it as a tool to change the present and plan for the future, because that you can change.

Just keep telling yourself that, one day you might believe it… lol!

While YOU think to much, I think too little.

…

I'm gonna miss being a teenager.

Puff_Of_Smoke
While YOU think to much, I think too little.

…

I'm gonna miss being a teenager.

I spent a good half an hour ranting and raving about my tax return and different sections of the code that made no sense to a co-worker. It was at that point that I realized I wasnt a happy-go-lucky teen anymore.

DIdnt get any sleep that night. :/

When it comes to regret, there's things to learn, for certain. But after a while, it's going to boil down to “could've, would've, should've” as the local jargon goes.

i think too much =_= That probably is the reason why my drawings can be a bit random.
You can't change the past so it's now just “water under the bridge”. something you should not worry about.

It’s strange, I’m starting to get worried I’ll forget things and if I forget them it’s like it never happened for me. Thus my logic gives me that if I forget most of the things that happened it’ll be like I haven’t lived at all 0_0

once thought for 4 hours about the reasons why i couldn't sleep.
at the end i got to im busy thinking about all this.

I don't have many regrets. I had a really shitty childhood, so every day just gets better for me. Plus, I see no point in looking back to the past.

I sometimes do wonder though if I should have gone for a medical degree instead of an art degree in college, but I'm only 2 years in, so art can still pay off.

lefarce
I spent a good half an hour ranting and raving about my tax return and different sections of the code that made no sense to a co-worker. It was at that point that I realized I wasnt a happy-go-lucky teen anymore.

I've started to have these moments too.

Where does all the time go :(

I live by three simple rules:
God is the only one who knows whats going to happen
Don't dwell on what you've done
It's never too late ‘til you’re dead

I think that helps me maintain some semblance of sanity.

yeah…
I realized I wasn't in HS any when I was freaking out about passing cal2.

I realized I was no longer a dumb teenager the day I spent ranting for an hour about how obnoxious customers were and how I hated spending 50+ hours a week at a job to pay the bills.

Then I proceeded to spill the beer that was in my lap all over my crotch and began laughing my ass off.

lba
I realized I was no longer a dumb teenager…

It can creep up on you so slowly too…
But back when I WAS a teen, it was the last thing I wanted to be. In my late teens that is. I couldn't WAIT to be thought of as an adult.

Despite the worries and cares, being an adult is WAY better than being a teen. You have so much more freedom as well as the power and experience to do something with that freedom.

…The only problem is that the process of getting older doesn't stop. The realisation of one's own mortality and those around them isn't pleasant.

I never want to get older… I don't think I could handle the pressure of being an adult, I'm barely handling being a teenager right now…. I just wish sometimes I could go back to being that care free eight year old I once was… Then I realize you can't go back, and I get scared because I then think of all that I haven't done and the things I missed. I then end up yelling out of fear and frustration then I almost end up in tears, because I get so scared, and worried I can't hold myself back.