I am sick and goddamn tired of these fucking fat pill commercials. “Are you fat? It's not your fault, it's because you don't have the right enzymes//your dad was fat//God hates you//you have an imbalance of (insert chemical here)//fatness is contagious! But we have the wonder pill/powder/drug/machine/drink/diet/methamphetamine that will change your fucking life! Holy SHIT! Just pay 1398567294876 dollars andeatthiswayuntilyoudieoryou'llgetfatagain.”

The media is complicating things so fucking much that it's driving me up the wall. Diets are bull shit! Losing weight is so simple it's ridiculous. Here's the trick. Are you ready? Consume fewer calories than you use. OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M A GENIUS. The problem is that America is full of so many lazy fat FUCKS that anyone can make a killing telling people how to lose weight while eating pizza and watching TV.

You know why you're fat? Because you don't fucking exercise. And I hope you enjoy the nursing home because your productive life ends at 60, you sedentary shitwad.

If you ask me, they weren't all that productive before their sedentary shitwad lives ended. I think that's part of the problem, although I'm not one to cast aspersions.