Okay, been feeling conflicted for a long, long while because I am currently going through some real rough times right now, but so is a lot of people right now.
Basically I am trying for any means to make some kind of money to keep my head above water, and due to some brow beating from my mother about how she went to Warren to learn Marketing and knows EVERYTHING about business.
I tried to argue I do know SOMETHING about comic book business but she kept telling me I was wrong, I knew nothing, that people are wrong, but I just keep thinking of how every time some major problem in comic book history always lead to marketing taking over and kicking everyone else out, especially the most popular one, Spider-man Clone saga.

But I listen anyway, because I do wonder if I am doing something wrong and don't know how things work.

And I think I ruined my comic careers.

I wrecked a good source of revenue with a friend, and threw away an audience just to repackage the comics into pdf'ed issue comics and recently realized I can't do my standard attention grabbers because it doesn't work because I do art like I used to because everything MUST be geared towards making money, instead of for fun and interesting people to take a peek at my comics.

Not only that I realized I royally screwed up any chance of making a second comic because instead of slowly building up a buffer that covers a long time and allows me to work on the pages, I am hurrying to slap together page after page together 3 months ahead to keep up, which with the job search is impossible.

So I am feeling sick and very second guessing myself and thinking about not taking any more advice on creative matters but a few days ago she looked at me and said, “don't get into a career making art, you will never survive”.
She is ignoring that it was my art stuff that allowed us to survive for so long and kept the storage stuff plus bus tickets AND food when we were starving on the street but you know, art is a bad career because it doesn't lead to lavish mansions.

Actually, come to think about it the reason she's getting very angry is because I can't put cartoonist down as a job and get a house loan for 300, 000 dollars. That's about it.

I decide on trying to bring back Nakamura Rex as a webcomic, along with a “support me and take a peak at things earlier” issues and other things like kofi and patreon style systems.
It will take some time, I had been adding some new story beats, new pages, there's world guides and editorials plus some story arcs are being shuffled around for better reading order based on Issues, so I figure it might be better if I finish that and post it next year so it's all ready and set to go.

What I am looking for is just the advice of dealing with the guilty feeling for pulling something like this after saying I will stick with it, despite knowing it was a huge mistake and wound up in a situation far worse than before.

Without making this about me - I've seen during my husband's career the effects of “chasing the money” as well as ignoring what suits you and tying yourself up in knots trying to make something you don't believe in work. I am going to go on the metal health angle and say that if you truly enjoy what you are doing, don't compromise. It is hard to go against the advice of your “elders” but you have to do what feels right to you as well as what you can live with. I also know from experience that the traditional 9-5 isn't for everyone, but it is hard to make a niche for yourself outside of it.

Sorry it really isn't advice, but you need to do what you believe in and feels right to you. Can't help with the icky feeling you are getting from your situation. But, I have seen to consequences of forcing yourself to endure something you don't like just for money. The expense of the sacrifice isn't worth it.

I feel bad for you that you don't have stable ground under you to make decisions easier.

Niccea wrote:
Without making this about me - I've seen during my husband's career the effects of “chasing the money” as well as ignoring what suits you and tying yourself up in knots trying to make something you don't believe in work. I am going to go on the metal health angle and say that if you truly enjoy what you are doing, don't compromise. It is hard to go against the advice of your “elders” but you have to do what feels right to you as well as what you can live with. I also know from experience that the traditional 9-5 isn't for everyone, but it is hard to make a niche for yourself outside of it.

Sorry it really isn't advice, but you need to do what you believe in and feels right to you. Can't help with the icky feeling you are getting from your situation. But, I have seen to consequences of forcing yourself to endure something you don't like just for money. The expense of the sacrifice isn't worth it.

I feel bad for you that you don't have stable ground under you to make decisions easier.

Hey you need to vent or make it about you or anything go nuts, this goes for anyone who needs too.
Yeah, truth be told I wish I could just do a regular 9to5 because it would feel a lot less stressful from the situation I'm in, because it feel like a clear boundaries.
Right now I am constantly on, always.
(UPDATE: Mom's bank account just flipped upside down and gone into the negative.. Which means, HOMELESS TIME YET again..)