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Panel By Panel: Workshop - 'Omegan Survivors' Part Two

hpkomic at 10:35AM, Sept. 20, 2024
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Hello, everyone, and welcome to Panel by Panel, a periodic exploration of comic panels around The Duck. We return to our workshop series this week. Last time we introduced this week's comic and asked for feedback for the workshop, allowing the community to weigh in and share some thoughts.

This week we'll cover Omegan Survivors, created by plymayer. Specifically, they asked that we look at chapter 4, page 6.

I'll post the page here as well for reference:



Feedback to the page was in short supply, likely due to a hectic month, but I have a lot to say on the page regardless. What we have with this page is a well-drawn, retro-style comic. I keep thinking about European sci-fi comics such as Valerian, for example. We have the retro-futurism of the space suit, the space-opera blend of alien and myth with the Cyclops creature. The designs of the characters are fantastic and have that pulpy 1980s aesthetic. This makes sense, as the page first appears to have been drawn in 1982.

Overall, as much as I like what I am seeing here, I do have an area of not-quite-criticism, but thoughts, for sure.

This comic page is of its time, undoubtedly, and that applies to the panel structure and pacing. As much as the art is a throwback, so too is the structure and action. This isn't a bad thing, just of a different time. If anything my thoughts here are on how we might modernize the page a bit to make the action a little more cohesive.

So we have three panels, one with heavy action depicting a rolling escape from a laser blast. A second panel features a kick to disarm the Cyclops. The third panel depicts a new weapon having been drawn. It's three beats and reflects the pacing of panels of the time. However, it feels a little disjointed, especially when we factor in modern pacing. There is a huge gap of time between the rolling escape and the disarmament - after all, our protagonist rolled away from the blast, and in the very next panel he seems to be within kicking distance of the weapon.

At the very least, a panel before the kick, perhaps depicting our hero running back toward the target, dodging fire, would help a lot. Or it could be as simple as redrawing the first panel so that distance doesn't seem too extreme.

Another issue is the drawing of the sword - having looked at the prior page, there is no indication of where the sword was held - that means for the audience the presence of the sword is a prompt that appears pulled from nowhere. One easy fix is perhaps showing a hand reaching for the sword behind his back. It wouldn't need to be a large panel.

Another solution is establishing the sword in the scene. That may require changing some angles on a previous panel, such as on the prior page. Between the two options, what makes most sense to me would be the insert panel of the grabbing action.

Here is the thing, though. The current panels and pacing aren't bad or incorrect - they are accurate to the time. However, with that comes a potential lack of clarity and a “jumpiness” associated with older comics where action compression was the norm and continuity of action just wasn't as big a concern.

With that said, this is a solid, effective page that reflects a different era of comic creation, and I appreciate it was shared. Good stuff, plymayer. Thank you.

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comment

anonymous?

plymayer at 8:18PM, Sept. 20, 2024

First of all: Thank you for your advise and insight. Your points are well taken. I remember drawing this page back in 82 (really loved those markers - LOL). Certainly would do it a bit different if doing it today. Panel structure and pacing certainly could be improved upon. Especially, with adding a panel between 1 and 2. Thanks again.


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