Years ago, while on a routine safari trip, myself and two others stumbled upon something extraordinary. Inside of a large cave, surrounded by bits of paper and empty Keystone Ice cans, there was a rather odd monkey. An orangutan to be exact. He was so engrossed in what he was doing, he hardly noticed the three of us enter. Upon one of my colleagues farting rather loudly, he looked up and drunkenly rushed at us with a pointed stick. After a brief struggle, which saw my crotch get stabbed repeatedly, we subdued him and let him sleep it off outside. We then noticed that all those bits of paper had various drawings on them. Intrigued, we gathered up all the drawings we could find and rushed home to analyze them. What you will see here are those same drawings we found that day. The crazed, artistic ramblings of a disturbed, drunk, and probably incontinent orangutan. These are his stories.