Ch. 3.5 Pg. 14

Jaggedclaw on May 5, 2014

So there's this trucker, right? And he's doing this long haul drive from Seattle to Phoenix. In the middle of the desert, he realizes he's really got to pee bad, and he doesn't have an empty bottle or anything, so he pulls over and he hops out and trudges off into the scrub to pee. On his way back, he sees this lever sticking up out of the ground, and he decides to give it a pull and see what happens. Before he can, though, a snake leaps out of the bushes! “Stop!” it yelled. Now, this being a talking snake that can leap, the trucker was quite amazed and stopped. “Who are you?” he asked. “My name is Nate. And it is my sworn duty to keep people from pulling this lever!” “Why?” he asked. “Because this lever is attached to a doomsday machine buried deep in the Earth. If activated, it would activate a portal and allow the Elder Gods access to this realm once more, bringing an end to all human life!” Well the trucker was convinced, so he headed back to his truck and took off again. Some time later, he was making his return trip when he came to the same stretch of road. As he drove, he noticed a car approaching him from the distance, in his lane no less. He blew his horn several times, but to no avail- the car kept coming. At the last moment, he realized he would have to get out of its way, and he jerked his steering wheel to the left, pulling into the opposite. But his truck wouldn't slow down, and he plowed off the side of the road and continued into the sands. With horror, he realized he was headed right towards the lever! He applied an emergency brake, and came skidding to a halt. He jumped out of the cab and looked around frantically. There it was. The lever. Un-pulled. With relief, he glanced around but noticed Nate was nowhere to be seen. He called out, but there was no response. Then he saw it- the twisted, mangled body of a snake laid out in his tire tracks. With a note of sadness, the trucker shook his head and muttered to himself… “Better Nate than lever.”
*bows*