Ametan at 8:56PM, Sept. 21, 2009

Actually, I put in 'the wilds of Colorado' because I wanted readers to get the mental image of an "isolated" ski cabin... which is where the first chapter is supposed to take place... (^_^) But don't worry, I'm not that lazy. I have plans to draw the actual cabin as well. (^_~)v As for the rest of the story for this chapter... it's already written out so I'll stay mum for now about my reasoning on why this panel is so exposition heavy. And I'd love to hear back from both of you on my execution of the story as it progresses. Comments and critiques are always welcome. (^_^)

Stig Hemmer at 4:47PM, Sept. 21, 2009

While I understand the dudes point, I don't think it is very important. The exposition isn't _that_ heavy-handed. I have a suspicion Ametan is trying to establish that Ana willingly shares personal information on the 'net, so that she can be found by any "stalker-stalkers" that might be interested.

theBSDude at 4:02PM, Sept. 20, 2009

Okay, just checking. It's a fairly small thing, but the phrasing of her forum post is a tiny bit exposition-heavy, specifically the line "Why did my family decide to vaction in the wilds of Colorado". The information is just a little too dense. If you cut out "the wilds" and maybe polished the phrasing of the next line, it'd read more naturally.

Ametan at 3:10PM, Sept. 20, 2009

I'm always open to suggestions. (^_^)

theBSDude at 12:11PM, Sept. 20, 2009

Ooh, stalker.... Um, would you be open to suggestions from a fellow fledgeling storyteller?