Again, telling, not showing. We hear of the character fighting crime, but we have no evidence of this. For all the reader knows, she could be lying about fighting crime. Or she might not. We don't know, because you haven't shown us. We also have no way to gauge how reliable she is.
Usually when things like "invisble boyfriends" are mentioned, they're made up. Normally, that would be my immediate assumption. But, here you've shown that her artificial creation is real- again, we have no way to tell what the truth is. Without your author comment from the first page, I know almost nothing about the characters we've seen.
anonymous at 12:43AM, Sept. 17, 2012
Again, telling, not showing. We hear of the character fighting crime, but we have no evidence of this. For all the reader knows, she could be lying about fighting crime. Or she might not. We don't know, because you haven't shown us. We also have no way to gauge how reliable she is. Usually when things like "invisble boyfriends" are mentioned, they're made up. Normally, that would be my immediate assumption. But, here you've shown that her artificial creation is real- again, we have no way to tell what the truth is. Without your author comment from the first page, I know almost nothing about the characters we've seen.
Walrus at 5:08PM, Jan. 27, 2009
Nice coloring!