So...I'd like to offer some hopefully constructive criticism. I'm a fencer, been fencing for 5 years and frankly the inaccuracies in your depictions of fencing make me cringe a bit. If you've decided to depict competitive fencing in this manner to make is more accessible to a general audience then that's awesome. I'm excited that you're making a comic about a female fencer, who's so kick ass. On the other hand if most of your comic will be set in medieval times then I won't be that helpful.
As far as this page goes some of the changes I'd make are change the French grips to Pistol grips, put the director in a suit (blue top, black pants), make the masks black instead of grey. All in all looks like you're off to a decent start, but I'd put in a little more research if you want to depict fencing more accurately.
darwinbot at 6:12AM, May 19, 2008
Speaking of constructive criticism ...how about some spelling tips? :) 1 fencer, 2 fencers, "fencer's" is possessive; the correct french is 'en garde' (and since, I assume, Gwen is fencing with another girl, you would have to spell her victory cry as the feminine "touchée", but now I'm just nit-picking...) Apart from that, the art is really nice, you're really good at drawing with a mouse!, and the story looks interesting. Look forward to reading more...
Solude at 6:47PM, Feb. 2, 2008
i want to learn =o
ftxfencer at 4:15PM, Nov. 18, 2007
So...I'd like to offer some hopefully constructive criticism. I'm a fencer, been fencing for 5 years and frankly the inaccuracies in your depictions of fencing make me cringe a bit. If you've decided to depict competitive fencing in this manner to make is more accessible to a general audience then that's awesome. I'm excited that you're making a comic about a female fencer, who's so kick ass. On the other hand if most of your comic will be set in medieval times then I won't be that helpful. As far as this page goes some of the changes I'd make are change the French grips to Pistol grips, put the director in a suit (blue top, black pants), make the masks black instead of grey. All in all looks like you're off to a decent start, but I'd put in a little more research if you want to depict fencing more accurately.
salasvexx at 11:14PM, Nov. 16, 2007
good start