Bird Shit

machinehead on June 19, 2013

I am actually tempted to do this every time I
see bird shit on my car. The wife has all sorts of flowers on my front
porch and one day I saw that a bird had built a nest in one of her
flower baskets. I pulled it down and proceeded to pull my pants down and
squat over it like I was going to poop in it. My wife was like, “What
the hell are you doing?” I don't know what is worse that fact that I was
pretending to poop in a birds nest or the fact that my wife thought I'd
actually do it.