*starts twitching, nervously*

Lights a fire, takes of helmet, and starts cooking a stew. “Oh. And those first editions better not be harmed!”

Drink beer, blow shit up. Feels good to get into my American roots now and then. HOO-RAH!

If i manage kill anyone ill make an epic piece of art showing how chuffed i am with such a result. If not ill draw some anyway about how much I am saddened about it. Got a family BBQ tonight. I dont want to go! I cant smoke around family and im gonna be there for hours and hours and hours!

And damn hobo squished under my wheel. Maybe id better take orders. Or just move to more random spots and blow them up.

Cry Havoc
By Adam Warnock

Upon the peak see the raven maverick
Laughing at the blood and war
Let slip the mangy hounds and cry havoc

‘Tis a scene most tragic
To see the grim specter reap more and more
Upon the peak see the raven maverick

Fear and blood and cries dramatic
Mist dyed red upon the moor
Let slip the mangy hounds and cry havoc

Death stalks most pragmatic
As Charon readies his oar
Upon the peak see the raven maverick

Armies field into battle dogmatic
As the bard tells the lore
Let slip the mangy hounds and cry havoc


As history repeats thematic
The starry sky does bore
Upon the peak see the raven maverick
Let slip the mangy hounds and cry havoc

I would say no more actions, but looking at this dinky list, I am reluctant to say that… but whatever. No more actions.


narration will be late, cause the fourth of July hates me.

Zeph
I would say no more actions, but looking at this dinky list, I am reluctant to say that… but whatever. No more actions.


narration will be late, cause the fourth of July hates me.

Like you, I get the feeling a lot of folks are too busy to even get to a computer today.

It's weekend. Weekends tend to be slow, what with the comics not updating and most people don't see the point in checking this site out.

Being a moderator on these days is a cakewalk. There's no fights to break up, no examples that have to be made, no nothing. Like being a hall monitor at a school, during snow day.

I am not taking an action because I have no orders.
Since I don't know what's happening, you don't want me using my inniative!

same here.

I'd just sneak over to my spaceport and get the heck out of here.

lol wat? Was at movie missed deadline… shit…

Fair enough, I'll extend the action deadline till tommorow. Expecially since I have no time like everyone else to do anything.

Actions for Attack cylce still open.

Yay! Now shit can be done. Thank you.

The problem with a grid based game (which seems to be bothering hark) is that we don't chose who we wish to attack, only wander around and hope that we end up finding an opponent that we can kill as opposed to vise verse. Once either side discovers the enemy base, it will be attacked until it is destroyed and it's game over. Hope that explains everything that needs to be said.

I actually like it, being a big battleship fan, myself.

Yeah, I like these grid games, adds strategy. Shouldn't play em too often tho…

I think a tic tac toe type game would work too.

Zeph
Fair enough, I'll extend the action deadline till tommorow. Expecially since I have no time like everyone else to do anything.

Actions for Attack cylce still open.

Hooray.

Rokulily, why is your bakery haunted?

EVERYONE!

Vote Con Ninja as best antagonist.

Aaaaaah I had no idea the game had started! Somehow I was logged out of DrunkDuck (even though I never do that…), so I never saw the message about my role, so I didn't know we'd started yet.

…8 pages?! Can anyone tell me what's happened? XD

Anthony Mercer
…8 pages?! Can anyone tell me what's happened? XD

Your side suffered a crushing defeat, all because you failed to show up. It was quite sad really. Everyone's really mad at you, right now.

Get Anthony! Tie to the fireworks, or better yet, get him to clean my house! All Same did was eat the rotting corpses, I still need someone to shovel the grime out! I knew I shouldn't have left the piggies in charge of the vault…wait, they went with Ni- NINJA!!!

And happy 4th of Juuuly! I don't care if I'm dead, I'm a damn necromancer! I'm coming back to blow some shit up, in the sky! I'm also coming back to haunt the bakery, might as well haunt a nice place, eh?

An appology to Salsa before I post the narration. I hated the starwars series, so I have no idea what the princess leia darth vader referance is about.

Fuck America. Except some of you.


And fuck signs… again.

Final Narration: The Crimson Flames, and the Obsidian Smoke

A sadistic grin sat on the white coated man's face, the black fur blowing around his face. He watched the scene below, pulling down his balaclava he took a deep breath of the air. The snow fell down harder, but it seemed to be stained with bits of crimson. A sign? The flakes melted as the burning embers made contact with them from the fires below. Evaporating like lives on the battle field. “So Zeph, this what you wanted?” a voice said from behind the man. Zeph got up, a chaotic smirk on his face, “Oh yes, they have entertained me well enough. But the final show is about to begin.”


Below, the neon lights of the GameStop flickered. As the crimson army marched upon it. the massive red tank rolled forward, a devilish grin upon Same's face. “Looks like I get to have some fun.” he grinned, TFGM stretched his arms behind his head, before pulling out his rifle. Salsa walked forward, light saber in hand, “I demand that you tear this base apart. Bring me the defenders. I WANT THEM ALIVE!” he howled.

Parker Farker stood behind him, checking his medical supplies. Anthony mercer pulled his rifle from his back.

Inside watching the video footage from outside was Shirkersama. Rubbing his temples he watched as the force gathered outside. He was starting to rethink his strategy of spreading his troops up. With a sigh he stood up, grabbing his claymore and shotgun. If he was going to go down, he was going to go down fighting.

Same opened fire, a massive round went through the wall of the store. Bricks and cement went everywhere, videogames were disintegrated by the intense heat. It felt like a thousand sharp knives had been dragged across Shirk's skin simply be being near it. But the obsidian general was no push over. He jumped out through the wall, his bodyguard Hakoshen had left on a mission with their medic Rokulily, just recently. Shirk was outnumbered and alone. Another round shot out of the tank's barrel, Shirk dove to the side, the building took another devastating blow. Shirk ran forward, TFGM opened fire on him,. Shirk swung down at him with the claymore, but TFGM rolled to the side, the blade just grazing his leg, the cut began to bleed. TFGM got to his feet, pulling out his combat knife he ran at Shirk, who had thrown up his claymore to defend the fire that was being laid down upon him by Anthony Mercer. Sparks flew from the massive blade, another tank round was fired at the building, Shirk watched as his fortress was set ablaze. The precious videogames inside melting away. Hakoshen would not of been please had he been there. A burning sensation shot across Shirk's arm, he let out a roar, as the blood splattered. Salsa grinned, his duel light sabers at his sides, a his Darth Vader cap blowing in the wind caused by yet another tank round to the GameStop. Shirk knew it was a hopeless battle, but he fought on. TFGM charged in, Shirk shot at him with the shotgun, a scream of agony left his attacker's lips as his left leg was blasted full of searing hot lead. Salsa rushed in, ramming both light sabers forward, shirk parried it with his blade, smashing a foot into the man's face. Salsa recoiled, blood flying from his broken nose as he smashed hard into the games stop sign, Same turned his barrel towards Shirk, a massive round went flying at the general, Shirk dove to the side, shoving Anthony mercer into the way of the speeding bullet as leverage. Shirk slid to the side, as the emotional lurker exploded into millions of small pieces. Salsa got back up, rubbing his face, TFGM grabbed at his leg, as he forced himself to his feet, blood dripping from his lip as he bit it in pain.

“Hey Shirk, we're back at the mine.” a voice came over an abandoned intercom, half melted by the heat, Shirk didn't answer however, how could he? He was too busy fighting the war on his own. Blades of energy collided with his claymore, as he blasted at them with a shotgun, avoiding heavy machine gun fire from a tank, and massive shells. Same cussed as he had to reload more into the chamber, buying Shirk a little time, Salsa charged, Shirk went to impale him with the claymore, but suddenly Parker Farker thew himself in the way, the blade ruptured his spine, forcing it from his body, he went rolling to the side. “PF!” Salsa shouted as his comrade fell to the ground dead. TFGM charged at Shirk, pistol in one hand, and knife in the other. Shirk took a massive swing, TFGM dodged under it, springing back up he slashed at Shirk's face, who stepped back in surprise, causing the knife to cut up through his eye, Shirk howled in pain as blood gushed from the gash. He swung around his shotgun and fired, searing hot lead riddled TFGM's body, piercing every vital organ and then some. Shirk swung his blade around, cleaving the soldier in half, the crimson blood splattering in the air. By the look on TFGM's face however, one could tell that he was content. He had died like a true soldier, with honor. Salsa bolted foward, Same fired another round, Shirk dodged it, energy swords clashing with the claymore's steel once again. Sparks flew from everywhere.

“SHIRK ANSWER ME DAMMIT!” Product's screamed into his radio. He heard the clashing of blades, the crackling of flames, and then a sudden explosion as Same finished off the building with the tank. Cracking boards, popping plastic could be heard, and then nothing. Product turned to Jninja with a look of horror. The miner stopped what he was doing, his booze dropping from his hand. “They're there…” Product muttered. “They found it…”
“SHIT!” Jninja slammed his pick into the rock of the mine, “Shit shit shit!”

Hakoshen felt a cold chin down his spine, he turned to Roku, “You don't think leaving him there was a bad idea do you? I am his bodyguard after all.”
Suddenly Roku's radio went off. “Hello, this is Rokulily of the medical division, come in?”
“Roku! They found our base!” Product's voice rang out of the radio, a cold sweat ran down the two's spines as they stared blankly at each other. They hadn't thought of defending it. They swallowed hard, they had become to lax thinking the death of the Crimson miner would of gave them an edge.

Jabberwalky turned around, his eyes wide as he watched the smoke rise from over the horizon where the Obsidian base once stood. He clutched his gun, grit his teeth, and fired a the ground, anger coursing through him.

Hark looked over to Garbonzo bean, the watched as the obsidian smoke met the crimson flames. Heading for the heavens, “Damn it…” the cat man growled, he looked over at Garbonzo, her knuckles were turning white as she gripped the rails of the reinforcement. The giant clown head below them. She kicked at it hard, the years of rust giving way, it smashed into the ground, leaving a large crater. Tears leaked from her eyes, but she wiped them away. “I didn't get any information… nothing… to help us…” she coughed, “What kind of interrogator am I?”
Hark could do little more than pat her on the back, he had a hollow feeling in his gut.


A smug grin sat on Niccea's face as she stood atop of the Crimson base, or should one say, Product Placement's mansion. Her blood red coat blowing in the wind as she watched the flames grow ever higher. The flames danced in her eyes as she stood there.

Shirk roared as he sliced at Salsa, tank rounds smashing into the ground around them, they danced the deadly dance of combat, Salsa's left arm had been blown off by Shirk's shotgun, blood splattered out of it every time he moved. Covering ground fast Shirk rammed his sword forward, Salsa parried it away, and sliced across Shirk's chest, he let out a roar of agony, smashing his blade into Salsa's jaw, the interrigator went flying back, blood splattered from his mouth. His eyes rolled back, Shirk grabbed him by the leg and smashed him into the ground, Salsa rolled to the side, only to have the shotgun leveled at his head. “DO IT NOW SAME!” Salsa shouted, “I AM YOUR FATHER!”
“SAY WHAT?!” Same shouted, as he pulled the trigger, a massive tank round cut through Shirk's chest, and into Salsa, it detonated upon hitting the ground. The flames billowed into the sky, Salsa had sacrificed himself for that Shot. Same pushed himself back in his seat. Of the raid on the Obsidian fort… he was the lone survivor. The war had been won, but at what cost?

Niccea made her way out of the fort, her eyes flickered with glee, as she strolled down the pathway, a helicopter was waiting for her, sitting inside of it was Zeph, a grin upon his face. “Congratulations Niccea.” he clapped his hands. “You must be so proud.”
“Zeph?” she narrowed her eyes, “What are you doing here?”
“Oh nothing really.” Zeph grinned. “Just making history, now I do believe you have a ride to catch.” He jerked his finger towards the copter. The crimson general just nodded her head and hopped in. It took off, when they reached the middle of the city. Zeph flipped a switch, turning on a massive speaker system.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE HERE TODAY! MANY SACRIFICES HAVE BEEN MADE! AND I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE VICTOR NICCEA!!”

Jninja grit his teeth looking up at the helicopter.
“Fuck that…” he muttered, pushing the detonator, Niccea's library exploded, a wave of flame shot out, destroying what remained of the loot and hooch, burning away the Vault, and knocking the debris from Zeph's sign into Kroatz's domain, sealing the hole for good.

Niccea turned in horror to see her library go up in flames, Product smirked from his place below, watching the flames disperse. “Spiteful much J?” he smirked, Jninja just shrugged.

Niccea turned around to hit Zeph, but he wasn't there, the helicopter was empty, other than the pilot. “Would you like to make your speech your highness?” the pilot turned around.

“All Obsidian personnel, lay down your arms, there is no more point in fighting, this day, Townston belongs to the Crimson army! Surrender, or be destroyed!”


The white coated man walked down the road from the burning city, a satisfied grin upon his face. His blood game had been played, and he was quite thrilled.

Shirkersama went down fighting, Salsa died like a hero, TFGM died with Honor, Anthony Mercer KIA, Parker Farker sacrificed himself for the good of his team. Niccea's Library is no more. Jninja is very spiteful,

THE CRIMSON ARMY HAS WON THE WAR

Also this came into my head.

My death served a purpose after all! They thought my death was a victory, and became lazy! Yay! I'm still dead tho, so I guess it doesn't matter. But hey, with the Vault burned up, no more mess, eh? Also no biological terrors about to eat all you innocents vital orga- you didn't hear anything, there is nothing in my vault…NOTHING!

Ill get started on that epic art now.

What have i done this game:

Blew metts corpse to smitheroons.
Ran over a hobo.
Spammed shells.
Destroyed a fortification.
Survived.

Thanks for letting me be GM. Hope you guys enjoyed the game somewhat. I know there was some confusion, but I thought it was pretty straight forward.

I'll put up the Election thread for Mafia XXXI later.

I can't say that I was expecting this to end so suddenly. I guess that's all it takes, if the tank accidentally stumbles upon your headquarters.