Mary Sue Academy

Wednesday Fun Facts Update: All About The Academy
Marysueacademy at 9:35PM, Aug. 4, 2008
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joined: 2-3-2008
I've been asked many questions about the comic which is hysterical because I usually make it up as I go along! These are the rules of the Academy and the Marysue universe. ~Heather Lawson

How does the Mary Sue Universe Operate?
If A Mary Sue has a kid in a fanfic or if she accidentally gets knocked up, her daughter will be a Mary Sue and her son would be a Gary Stu. They send their kids to school who pick their courses on Orientation Day. There is a separate Academy for Gary Stus.
There are many different classes at the Mary Sue Academy. There are six majors in the beginning, and then more and more electives and specialities that they can study as they move into their senior years. The six majors are the Cool Girl Class, the Sexual Seduction Class, the Magical Girl Class, the Warrior Class, the Emo/Goth Class, and Fantasy Creature class.

What are some of the rules of the fanfic realm?
Mary Sues do not get to choose the fanfics that they go into. They are assigned to the fics according to their abilities. Being in a fanfic is just like being in a play or a film. They act. Mary Sues can have boyfriends outside of the fanfic they are working on, and they can also get crushes on. A Mary Sue’s position ends when the fanfic is deleted. They can work part time if the reading goes down. For example, if a fanfic goes from a thousand readings a week to once a month, they can get a warning on their mobile and run off to find work elsewhere. Mary Sues work on commission. They get paid every time a fanfic gets a hit on the web. They are allowed to keep and spend the earnings that they make while working on fanfics. So if she works as a journalist in a fanfic and gets cash in the story, she can use it to fund her wardrobe and hair.


What if a Mary Sue doesn’t want to go to the Academy?
It is very rare, but it has happened. One of the (soon to be) main characters in the story, Arwen, got fed up with the Academy and dropped out to become a hunter. She was lucky she had the skills and enthusiasm for the job. If a Mary Sue doesn’t want to go to the Academy, they can get a job as an extra in any fandom as a check-out clerk, a pub worker, a villager, anything. It doesn’t pay well, however Most people with those sort of jobs in fandoms are refugees who were written by authors as extras in fanfics that got deleted.


TELL ME ABOUT THE:

Sexual Seduction Class:
This class is for a Sue who will use sex and charm to move the story along and seduce the male characters without love involved. In fanfics where there is an evil hot chick keeping the real female character away from her true love, this is the class they have taken. They learn tools of seduction, such as how to use body language. They do an entire lesson practicing how to suck on cherries. They also need to learn all those insane sex positions that are written in smut fics. They learn how to do this by practicing swivelling their hips on giant stuffed animals. They are expected to know all this in case they are assigned to an insane smut fic. Sometimes, if they're lucky, they get a role as a Canon Seductive Sue, such as one of the women from Sex and the City. One very lucky Sue was actually chosen to play Elizabeth Bennet in the infamous published naughty Jane Austen book.

Cool Girl Class:
A Cool Girl Sue is a modern Cameron Diaz style Sue. She wears sexy jeans, has cool hair and is fun and perky. The career options of a Cool Girl Sue are huge, except she can't appear in fantasy fics unless they are modern like Buffy. She can't appear in Lord of the Rings Fanfics or a Futuristic Star Trek one. She has to appear in the modern world. So if she plays a muggle, yes she can be in Harry Potter. She can be in Babysitters Club fanfics, Gossip Girl fanfics, all sorts.

Magical Girl Class:
In the Magical Girl class, they learn all the basic rules of magic. Magic is about changing the atoms of the universe. They learn how to do this so that they can fake the sort of magic appropriate for the fic they get sent to, whether it is waving a wand, batting their eyelids or just chanting. They know how to manipulate certain parts of the universe such as their eye colour, and they use this magic while wand-waving, or whatever the fic demands. Magical Girl Sues aren’t always rainbow sunshine happiness, they can be in fandoms such as Harry Potter, Charmed, Hex, Buffy, Angel, and they can even play Mutants in X-Men and star in Superhero fics.

Warrior Class
Warrior Sues are experts at duelling and Martial Arts. They take classes in five fighting disciplines from both Western and Eastern regions and learn how to use modern and ancient weapons. Work experience for Warrior Sues is extremely dangerous, and they practice in fandoms such as Lord of the Rings, Morrowind, Terminator and Kill Bill fanfics, usually playing extras in fight scenes. They also take classes in Philosophy, because they need to deal with the fact that they usually die much sooner than most Sues. They also need to understand the nature of life and death, because they often kill people in fanfics. While they are just acting in the fics, sometimes they accidentally do die, or kill another fellow Sue by mistake. Writers for warrior-style fics are more likely to kill this Sue more than any other. Warrior Sues, when graduated, can appear in fandoms such as Buffy, Tomb Raider, Lord of the Rings and miscellaneous Sci-Fi shows.

Fantasy Creature Class
Fantasy Creatures are aliens, mermaids, fairies and the like. If a type of alien from a new movie suddenly becomes very popular then they appear in the fandom and go to school. They learn the physiology of themselves, how they can breed with people and the history of their culture. An ordinary human sue can choose to be a Fantasy Creature, but it is a bold decision that takes a huge amount of surgery and magical procedures. Many can’t be bothered with this class unless they are born a mermaid or any other fantasy creature. Many of the Magical Creature Sues are the children that result at the end of fanfics. Like when a mermaid and a leading man have kids at the end of fics. Eventually the kid grows up and the parents send them to the Mary Sue Academy so that they can get a job in another fic.

Emo/Goth Class
Emo/Goth Sues are the Sues who kill themselves in fics and often have tragic histories. They take poetry classes, crying classes (how to cry at the perfect pitch!) and classes in dramatic posing. They also learn different and elegant ways of portraying suicide in fics, such as falling gracefully down cliffs in amazing dresses, poisoning themselves in the proper way, and cutting just the right amount on the wrist. They always wear amazing medieval gowns and corsets. They never, ever wear frumpy crap at school. Many of the Goth Sues are fantasy creatures like Vampires, which also need to take electives in the Magical Sue course.
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:19AM

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