Random Nonsense

King of the mountain/hill/mound/bump
Canuovea at 11:42PM, May 29, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
(I have been somewhat more busy recently, but in a good way, so I've had less time to respond. And this is quite interesting, and getting more so. I had not considered that aspect of this to the same extent as I have others. It is amazing what other people can offer to something.)

Varamortian grimaces. “Life should be happy, and joyful. Excitement is often part of that. But my people do feel happiness, and joy, and excitement. They are not joyless automata, but joyful automata. They are aware of what they are doing, aware of the events around them. They can easily be excited. You do not need dragons to do that. We have film, and plays, and all manners of entertainment. They just have no control over themselves.”

“The purpose of existence is just that. To exist. Nothing more.” He gives a sigh. “Believing anything else is childish fantasy. Like your dragons. I, on the other hand, offer something better. A happy, orderly, existence, with no real danger. There is no pain; there is only contentment and joy.”

He makes a curt gesture. “There was once a human who wrote that the priority should be the greatest good for the greatest number; maximize pleasure and minimize pain. A Utilitarian. I offer just that. And, please, don't reply with something so sordid as: ‘better a man unsatisfied than a pig satisfied.’ Karnuovia always attempts to throw that one at me. It is useless rhetoric.”

The Karian BOO ship appears in the system, and small one person ships launch from it. Canuovea's people respond in kind, and George begins exchanging beams with the Karian ship to little effect.

“As for my worlds,” Varamortian continues, “they produce epic stories of their own. It is an easy matter to reach into the minds of those people, even when they cannot control themselves, and pluck out the dreams they have. There is still horror, and happiness, and valor. As you say.”

A montage of Varamortian's own flashes before him. One of the most notable ones is an Opera, and the crowd is bawling with laughter. “They see it. And I ensure they feel joy. It is a simple matter.”

A completely new voice trickles into the conversation. This one is female, but there is no form to place it to. “But they don't know what it means.”

“Silence! You are not to interfere!”

The voice gives a jolting laugh. “I'm not interfering. I'm watching and commenting. I know all too little about you, Caius, and I-”

“Do. Not. Call me that!”

“Apologies, Varamortian. I simply meant that, they do not know pain, or fear, or hardship or sadness. How do they, then, really know what joy, bravery, fear, comfort, and happiness are? It is Yin and Yang. You cannot have one without another. For there to be order, there must be chaos. It is a light and darkness matter.”

“It is better for them not to.”

“According to you.”

“Yes. According to me! I know it best of all!” Varamortian seems to visibly recover his awareness of the audience. “Your point about creativity is moot. That is not a good reason. Try another one.”
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 10:16AM, May 30, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
All weapons fired at George suddenly curve back and hit the ships that fired them.

“You are a very boring person. Just astoundingly boring. Your an artist creating art for no-one. Your a writer writing stories that only you will read. Your the obnoxious twit laughing at your own joke, and reveling at how funny you are, but no-one else is laughing. Somehow you are under the delusion that you know better then the universe. Just about everyone that has ever existed will agree that you are wrong. the only people who agree with you are either controlled by you, so they don't count, or were created by you, which also don't count. And yet despite all evidence to the contrary, you think you have the answer, you think you know better then everyone. You are an arrogant dullard.

”They might be joyful automata, but they are still automata. They are not people. They don't feel joy cause they are happy, they feel it because you say so. There is only one person in your empire, and that is you, all the rest are wooden puppets, that you take care of like a little girl with a baby doll. No-one in your realm is enjoying themselves, or are there, it's just you a billion times over pretending to be a Utopia, when it really is just you playing with action figures.“

”You are wrong about existence. To say the point of existence is to exist, is just lazy, and circular. It's the motto of someone who gave up on thinking things through.“

”You can do better then this, but then again maybe you can't. It would be reasonable to assume your social, and argumentative skills have atrophied."

(I know, I know. too much Ad hominem. It's just so hard not to insult him, with valid insults.)
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 11:48AM, May 30, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
The Karian BOO ship turns towards Earth and fires at the locations of the simulations. It isn't so much doing this to destroy the place, but to force the defenders to focus on several areas at once.

George has other ideas. To make the defense easier, it interposes itself between Earth and the Karian BOO ship. This allows those redirecting the weapons fire to do so easier.

Meanwhile, the small one man fighters pass each other in space. There are what appear to be nuclear explosions. The problem is that the ships are not shooting at each other. They are basically jousting in space, both side using long spearlike weapons to reach the other while moving at insane speeds. The result of impact between objects moving at speeds getting to be near the speed of light is… boom. You take a grain of sand and accelerate it to near the speed of light, shoot it at something, and you make the Tsar bomb look like it is a child's toy. The explosions happen when one opponent hits the defenses of the other and is unable to kill it. The explosion is shrugged off by both parties and the battle continues. This is why the Praetorians had their troops sortie out. Fighting in deep space prevents damage to the planets.

Vaerius and Filraen are still in the room with the other humans, but Vaerius gestures to Filraen and mutters something. Vaerius then turns to the people in the room. “We need to move back to the hangar. Once we are in, seal it off. We will deal with anyone attempting to land.” They both move off.

Three Karian ships disengage from the combat and head for the moon. They are closely followed by two Praetorian ships (Lucifer and Caurus). Earatar, meanwhile, focuses the information she got from Azraeel and beams it back to Earth and the proper simulation. As a result, the Anthropomorphic Prairie Dog Corp and two agents, find themselves on top of the hill, in the midst of a party being held by Hark's genetically modified Mole people, who are busy marching around and waving flags.

Earatar then calls her own ship to here and heads off to intercept the three Karian.

A momnent later, Three Karian blast their way into the hangar and dismount, they are followed directly by Earatar, who dismounts by jumping straight in to the middle one. There is a brief flash of Karian blade and Earatar's head is cut in half. The next instant her body disappears. The Karian itself is essentially unscathed.

Filraen and Vaerius rush the three of them, Filraen clashing with a more scrawny Karian, and Vaerius meeting the one that just killed Earatar. The reason they both ignored the third Karian (a hulking brute taller than Lucifer and half again as wide) is revealed as soon as Lucifer and Caurus arrive. The two of them begin a conflict with the larger one. Filraen is holding his own against the scrawny Karian, and Lucifer is quite matched with the large hulking one. Vaerius is fighting the middle one with his sword and shield, and the fight seems even.

But numbers begin to tell. Caurus manages to get a shot in at the largest Karian. She takes a stab to the chest for it, but it allows Lucifer to put his spear through the thing's head. Caurus kind of tries crawling towards the fight between Vaerius and the other Karian, but can't quite manage. She doesn't disappear though. Lucifer walks around Vaerius and straight up to Filraen's foe. The Karian makes its choice and launches itself at Lucifer. They kill each other.

This leaves Vaerius, Filraen, and the final Karian.

“Give up Zerus. We've won.” Vaerius taunts.

“No. You have not. My master is here. Yours is not.”

“Now, whoever said that?”

Back in the room with Varamortian.

“A dullard am I? At least my people are safe and happy, that is what matters.”

“Actually,” Canuovea speaks, “they are quite right. The existence of your people has no meaning. They are safe, but lack true life. They are not, quite, real people. And the truth of the matter, Mortian, is that none of them can really be happy. And She was right to say that they have nothing to compare it with. Happiness cannot exist without sadness. They are also right about one other thing. There are no happy people in your kingdom. Because, you, yourself, are not happy. Oh, and your social and argumentative skills have atrophied. They're right about that too.”

“Ah.” Varamortian almost hisses. “Karnuovia. My lack of happiness has nothing to do with my people. My lack of it is why I give them happiness. You will never understand my loss, and what I would spare them from.”

“Perhaps. Perhaps I do understand.”

“Hmm. Why, Karnuovia, have you come here? You cannot defeat me. You regenerated yourself too quickly. Your powers are limited. I could crush you now like a bug.”

“Ah, but you forget something.” Karnuovia smiles wickedly. “In order to do that, you would have to unleash your powers completely. That is something we agreed not to do. You may as well just fight me here.”

Varamortian raises his eyebrows. “Why should I keep to the agreement? I don't care what happens to this place now.”

“Word of honour.”

“Just like a treaty is a word of honour, Karnuovia?”


“Well… I have something for you. Back when I was human, no, just after I had stopped being human, I had a non-aggression and nuclear non-proliferation treaty with the Holy Union on the other continent. You remember some of this, yes?”

“I remember my intervention.”

“Well, you should have intervened earlier. I dropped nuclear weapons onto the Vatican, Jerusalem, Medina, Mecca, and every other holy site not under my control. That should tell you entirely how much I value treaties when they do not align with my goals.”

Canuovea frowns. “What a waste of life.”

“No. Not really. They were the waste of life. You recall what I did next?”

“I have vaguely guessed at it.”

“Here, let me explain. I began a crusade of my own, you see. I decided it necessary to capture the leaders of that, ‘Holy Union’ of theirs and kill any who would not renounce their faith. More forces were more than equal to the task. You remember this part yes?”

“It got my attention.” Canuovea's voice was strained.

“Then, what did I do?” Canuovea says nothing. “I took the leaders, and made them watch as I crucified their families, one by one. I then told them, that I was going to destroy anything that possibly resembled the souls of their loved ones, so that they would never see them again, regardless of if they were correct about their little afterlife or not.”

“And you did so. That is what made me decide to intervene.”

“Yes, well, you got there too late to save the leaders.”

“I never wanted to save the leaders. I only came to save their families.”

“You succeeded in saving one group. Then I killed you.”

“And I killed you. Your point?”

“I am not a man of honour. And you are about to die again.”

“Maybe you will. But you will not use your powers to do so.”


Canuovea smiles. “You should have figured it out by now.”

“Ah. Her. Yes, I suppose that is true.”

Both of them draw almost identical swords, they are thin and similar to the one Canuovea stabbed himself with. “Let's get this over with.”
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 12:29PM, May 30, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
there was no need for George to move, the earth is just as shielded The shots fired at it, just went around it. the enterprise is still keeping Val from escaping to the 4th dimension. the matrix is turning back the vast majority of shots headed for george. the Sun begins to get more active, and shoots unnaturally large, and focused flares, that strike karian ships, and incinerate them, or at least blind them for a bit. a tiny worm hole diverts a very minuscule amount from one such flare. The last karian in the hangar is the unlucky person at the other end of the hole. the hangar's hull is softer, and a bit melted looking where the karian stood.
the only planets without their own shields are the ceti planets. george is probably more needed to defend those.

“One sec you two. Canuoeva, could you tell Calthorne I said ‘I told you so’. Also this.” Tiberius kicks the table in front of him (i was imagining a sort of conference room.) which knocks val forward over the table, Tiberius then shoots his sword out of his hand with expert marksmanship, giving Canuoeva good opportunity before val summons his sword back (I imagine he can do that)
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 12:57PM, May 30, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
Zerus, the Karian hit by the sun, blinks. It's armour glows and the mask blackens slightly, but it is otherwise unharmed.

Filraen assumes this is a good time to strike. It isn't, the Karian dodges the spear thrust and cuts off his arm. Vaerius jumps forward and stabs the Karian in the gut. Zerus recoils and manages to block the next strike. It then bends over backwards as Filraen's shield whips over it.
Caurus, who is still collapsed, grabs her spear and puts it through Zerus's head. Then she disappears.

“Off you go Filraen.” Vaerius orders, “I can deal with the rest.”

“It's only a fleshwound.” Vaerius glares at him. “Sorry. Right.” Filraen disappears.

“Him too.” Vaerius mutters. “It's a conspiracy.”

The Karian BOOS begins accelerating. George blinks out a pattern that roughly translates as “Oh no, you sunovabitch, you don't do that!” The next moment George shoots forwards and, moving quite as fast as the speed of light (if not more), rams the Karian BOOS. Instead of exploding, the ships just ripple and shatter. And the pieces disappear.

Canuovea lunges at Varamortian. Despite the surprise, Varamortian reacts quickly, pulling a dagger out and blocking the lunge. He then flips off the ground by pushing off with his right hand, and barely dodges a swipe from the sword. The timing is simply too perfect for him. He summons the sword to his right hand and throws the dagger into Tiberius's gun with his left. But he doesn't get any more time than that. The swords clash and begin moving with a speed almost impossible to follow. Then they separate and move forward again. Canuovea starts with the initiative and begins the attack. Varamortian counters, not by blocking, but with an attack of his own. Canuovea's sword goes into Varamortian's right shoulder; Varamortian's sword goes into Canuovea's chest, cutting the Aorta by the heart.

“I win.”

“Nuh, uh.”

“Huh. I see.” Varamortian looks at the sword in his shoulder and realizes that the Carotid artery isn't working anymore.

“Deja vu.”

They both rip their swords out of the other's body and collapse.


“Seems I win Mortian.”

“No, you're dead too.”

“Irrelevant. This was a trap. You've just lost the galaxy. Tiberius. He can't defend himself now. I suggest speeding up the process. I can't keep his mind quite still for much longer. Finish him off if you would… be so… kind…”
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 3:38PM, May 30, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
“Stop being so melodramatic. Did you think we neglected medical science?” With that Tiberius injects a sort of foam into Canny's wound, which stops him from bleeding out, while allowing blood to flow. not a permanent fix, but he'll live. at the same time he's doing first aid he puts his now slightly dented gun to Val's upper lip, and fires. the bullet travels through to the brain stem, instant death, (Swat snipers are trained to shoot there. when you shoot at the upper lip, just below the nose, it goes to the brain stem, and severs it so they don't twitch as they die, and kill a hostage.)

“Canuovea, your social skills also need a bit of work. for example. YOU DIDN'T TELL US IT TOOK MORE THEN A SUN TO KILL THEM!”. I shake my head, and sigh. I help you to the infirmary, since your very sluggish right now due to blood loss, and the foam which slows it down. “From what I gleaned, he'll be back, Me and my companions were right, Calthorne was wrong, you seem to think with him gone, it's all over. Wars don't end when the leader dies. as you can see there is still fighting going on, and… one sec.” I listen to my ear piece for a bit. “and there are still a few more galaxies, and fleets to fight. Not to mention those insane ones, prancing about the galaxy slaughtering everyone. So all in all, a bit premature to declare victory.”

I set you down on a bed. “you owe me more then one. and when you get better, I'd like to go back home. The battle is almost over it seems, we'll be going to our final hide away soon.”
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 8:55PM, May 30, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
“Heh. Nice… Sun? You shot one into the sun? What? I would have thought that… okay. My bad. But their ship was sitting comfortably in the center of your sun for some time… ah, I sometimes forget things.”

“Will he be back? No. Not in this galaxy, not if we win the space battle. The Karian will not run.” Canuovea coughs. “And you are lucky. Most of these galaxies have already been won. We have been at this a very long time.”

“As soon as I can, I'll send you back. Just give me a couple moments.”

Meanwhile. Vaerius smiles. “Calthorne.” He says to the air. “Let us get busy.”

Calthorne had been told to guard the other humans. “Okay. So, space it is?”

“Yes. I will want your help. Feeling up to it?”

“Sir, yes sir!”

“Get your ship.”

A couple of minutes later the space battle was turning decisively in favour of the Praetorians. Very soon the Karian were all dead. As soon as that was accomplished Canuovea's minions shot off in all different directions to free the galaxy of Varamortian's control. Permanently.
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 12:37AM, May 31, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
(There is a post above this one, in case you missed it)

Canuovea continues.

“You see, we normally leave Earth for last. You were the last undecided piece in this galaxy. That is done now. Now we see who wins the long run. It seems it was us.”

He chuckles. “You should know, that back in that white space of yours, a lot of what I said was simply to bait you. I wanted to know how you thought and why you thought that way. I still think you are agents of order, though.”

“I also have some further bad news. You see, the wound caused to me by his sword? Well. It is… not only physical. It is to do with will as well… heh… alliteration?… Maybe… Anyway, I'm going… going… now. And I fear there is some unfinished business…”

“Oh, and one more thing! Calthorne was right. He did keep his word, he didn't use his powers. There is a very good reason for that… Ahem… not an idealistic reason, as Calthorne may have hoped, but a very… realistic one. Realism… Real…politik. Not ostropolitik… Willy Brandt…”

“Argh. Sorry. realize, first and foremost, your people are safe. Second, Calthorne should be back in… late for tea… AHEM! Back soon. If there is still something you need to worry about… he can answer questions… And… Caligula is not quite gone from the system yet… He will be. Soon. Perhaps it is more fitting this way…”

“Hypocrites! I am not… hyp… must not deny choice… to self. Otherwise, then hypoc… Grah! This losing of mind is not a comfortable experience. I'll be back again though… hardly, permanent… NO! Here!”

Canuovea disappears. So does Tiberius. The difference is that Tiberius finds himself back in his proper simulation. Canuovea does not.


“Lord… We failed. Lord? Action?”

“No. We let them take it.”


“The Universe is mostly theirs. They win this time. Take it slow. Recover to be at full strength.”

Zerus leaves.

“Lord?” Another Karian. “I failed most heavily.”

“Azraeel? No. You were outclassed. You made no mistake.”

“…Are you, well Lord?”

“N-Yes. A lingering moment of self doubt. It is gone now. Recover well Azraeel, as I will.” Azraeel disappears. “Emotion. They are all developing some form of it now.” Varamortian mentally shakes his head. “We will see, what we will see.”

Then there is a new voice, the female voice that interrupted him earlier. “I am proud of you, Varamortian. You did not make me have to intervene.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Perhaps the development of emotions in your Karian is a good thing. But I want to know why you did not force my hand? Why not destroy them when you could?”

“Sto- very well. Let me explain to you then. I only turned on the Holy Union after they attempted to kill me. And succeeded in killing my wife and two daughters.”

“Ah. I did not know that.”

“Yes, Karnuovia had never… done something like that. Nothing to really warrant me breaking my word. He, in his foolery, will think I am not a man of honour, and that you were the only reason I did not strike. He will be wrong. I… am a lot of things, but an oathbreaker? No. Not normally. It takes far more than that.”

“Really? Should I tell him?”

“No. It may prove to be an advantage to me some day.”

“Very well.”

“I've always wondered how you can… maintain your neutral status. I know very well where your affections lie.”

“You, Varamortian, know as little about me as I knew about you.” With that the presence was gone and Varamortian sighed.

And Calthorne pulls his ship up to the moon. Hails them, and asks a slew of questions: “Is there anything else? Do you wish to keep contact with us? Or have means of contacting us?”
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 5:35PM, May 31, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
(I'm thinking of what to do. give me some time.)
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 10:33PM, May 31, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
(Time is fine. There is plenty of it! And I only posted twice because something came to me a little after the first post. I thought it would be pointless to edit the first one and posted a second. I have plenty of time too! I know of at least two loose ends that need to be tied up still, though… But I'm curious to see where you will take it.)
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 7:49PM, June 1, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
(Wow. our power levels really took off. I used to think starting off with nuclear weapons, and orbital strikes was extreme. nope. nuclear warfare is pretty tame at this point.
a handy reference of how this has played out

-Nuclear arsenals, and kinetic strikes.
-quantum super positioned mole men
-Airship fleets
-god like powers
-Ohhhh snap, simulated reality!
-anomalous powers
-Full on reality reprogramming with Admin powers
-Shit just got real!
-soul eating monster fighting with super knight gear.
-Superluminal speeds!
-DOS attack FTW
-ohhhhh snap outside forces!
-Shit just got realer
-Black hole powered space ships!
-God like beings! which are a pain to kill (for now)!
-Ohhhhh snap, information theft!
-relocation of star system!
-It's a trap. God like being kidnaps system! other god like beings go to rescue! Armies landed on Mars! information taken back!
-Never mind. that didn't happen. Shield rementioned
-Safely hidden in enemy terri- OH CRAP WE KIDNAPPED THE AMBASSADOR!!!
-uhhhh… oh dear
-Now to find the source of the contr- OH CRAP IT"S IN THE DIMENSION OF TIME!
-temporary alliance formed. plan formulated.
-Canuoeva returns
-plan amended with new information
-controlling god like being kicked out of his home
-Shit just got realest
-Space jousting! (…what?)
-bending of light itself to reflect shots!!
-The sun starts shooting people!
-Sun ineffective at killing people! (we really need to lay out how to kill you guys. when a gravity lens focused solar flare doesn't do the job, you are hard pressed to find a bigger gun.)
-expert marksman skills, and mutual stabbing
-Tis but a flesh wound+execution, SWAT style
-Battle goes favorably
-Tis more then a flesh wound. AKA OW my soul has a hole in it!
-Day is won!
-But wait, there is still other galaxies to be won, and crazy gods to defeat!
-Shit just realized it was in a simulation of shit, but now is real! So in effect, Shit just NOW got real

I'll be posting what I do in a moment. I think I'll fast forward. no point in dwelling around as stuff is built, and organized. I also think I'll go ahead and come up with some of what has happened in the mean time with the rest of the world(s)

any particular direction you want to go with it?)
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 8:24PM, June 1, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
(Relying on nukes is for noobs! Ahem. I should never use that word. EVER.

Anyway… Yeah. You've still got some of Mr. Caligula's essence hanging around. Plus I dunno about those poor saps on Mars. I suppose we can say that they just return to normal over time.

Also… kinda funny. You've got all that major tech… but you've still got a dead planet with “weather” trouble. Maybe its time the Moon started helping your guys out some more.

And, really, I think we hit the climax of a story… now we need to tie up loose ends. I do have something planned for what remains of Mr. Caligula, after all, you did say that part of him was in the quarantine of the system… and that is how he was linked to the creature…)
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 8:08PM, June 2, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
(I think we can top that…)

“don't call us, we'll call you.” and with that the system disappears, and no-one gets kidnapped this time.

a ship appears in the general area of where that 3rd party was. It's the matrix. It sends out a message. “We need to talk.”

(almost there. we're at 133, the fan art is 135. how good are you at drawing? I feel something should be made to commemorate our achievement, especially considering that the majority of it is just two people going back and forth in an escalating arms race of imagination.)
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 9:04PM, June 2, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
(Okay. Drawing? I'm alright if I keep at it for long enough. I'll come up with something.)

“Talk?” A disembodied voice. “Talk or steal my technology?” She laughs. “I have none though. Very well. Talk if you wish to talk. I will listen and respond as needed.”

(You do realize, Hark has basically won the King of the Hill part!)
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 6:00PM, June 3, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
(hark may be the closest to the hill, but I control it.)

“Let's start with who are you, what do you want, and anything else that would be good for us to know. That includes how to harm you people, since using the sun like a ball of death lasers doesn't work, nor does shooting you, crashing you, throwing planets at you, and nothing makes sense.”

(one more post and we win the forum)
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 10:57PM, June 3, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
She laughs. “You expect simple goodwill from me in answering this? You have already shown yourselves to be underhanded, manipulative, and untrustworthy. I may yet answer your questions… if you can give me one good reason for me not to pursue and destroy you.”

There are whispers heard. Though they are quite indecipherable.

“Fine.” She snorts. “Who I am is absolutely none of your concern. All you need to know is I am neutral. In fact, I would not have actually tried to kill you. Karnuovia would not allow it. Besides, I am neutral, and I rarely get angry enough to actually intervene. I am also one of the reasons that they will so readily stick to their agreements. Neither are powerful enough to ignore me and their own opposite. So, yes, I hold the balance of power. And I will not take a side, though my own philosophy is… more in line with Karnuovia's.” She chuckles. What she is not saying is that she herself would have more than a decent chance at taking on either Karnuovia or Varamortian in battle and winning.

“What do I want? To be left alone. To have my own peace for myself and mine.”

“As for harm? Do not mistake the four for their creations. Karnuovia is not one of his Praetorians. Varamortian is not a Karian. Caligula is not… well, you understand. Harming a Praetorian or Karian is simple enough. Get personal with them. Up close. Or you can throw immense power at them, though this only works against some. For example, dropping a hydrogen bomb on Azraeel would only hurt her lightly, and maybe disorient her for a moment. Zerus on the other hand… Well, you hit Zerus with a chunk of the sun and it had little effect. Were you to do that to, say, Eris or Gargan, it might hurt them a little or stun them for a moment. Similar to Azraeel. The same is true, to a lesser extent, for Caligula's creatures. You were able to harm it by linking the minds of your soldiers with their weapons, concentrating their will further. Yes, that was somewhat effective, but it would not work against a Karian. You need a weapon that can get their skin or past their armour. Getting past their armour is not easy, though their own weapons can do so. There is reasoning behind that, but I will not explain.”

“I am not going to tell you more than you already know about harming the four. I'm not that stupid.”

She pauses. “Good for you to know? I am not here. I am on your earth. And I am NOT leaving it until I have gotten what I want. It is, however, NOT your affair to interrupt. It is personal. Observe if you must.”

With that the presence disappears, along with all information The Matrix may have attempted to steal from her (though she is aware that is more The Enterprise's area of expertise, she isn't taking any chances). In addition, the information gathered from George about the Star Killer disappears, even in the minds of those who took it (on the Enterprise I assume, as well as elsewhere), and is replaced by a rather delicious apple pie recipe. Any other information about the Praetorians is left where it is though. Clearly, she does not trust your people to use the information wisely.
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 10:56AM, June 4, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
(*twitch* *twitch*

I really need some consistency here. The idea that only melee weapons has no sense to me. It's driving me mad. I can only hide right now, not fight, and that's really annoying. and now you take away the one thing I could use.
tricky and underhanded are all I can do right now, since nothing will kill any of them, and even the tricks, and sneakiness are not working since even though they went into deep hiding, they were found, easily. Defense isn't working, since that won't stop any of my main problems. I'm running out of options here, I might be out of options already.

the following might be non-canon, but I don't know what else to do, but vent my frustration.)

“Fuck you. Don't trust us? Sneaky, and underhanded? What do you expect? we're fighting gods, and trying to not get smote from on high. We can't harm you, can't stop you. Nothing works. And now you steal our one chance, because you ‘don’t trust us'? Why the fuck should we trust any of you. Why should our life's goal not be to rid the world of everyone like you? Caligula is probably the best of you. at least he doesn't pretend, and strut about.”

“None of our Business? Your on our god damn planet, and stated you wanted us dead, and it's none of our business? All of you. Every single last one of you is a pretentious arrogant, elitist fool. Why should you be trusted with your own powers?”

“there was only one of you, I remotely trusted, and he is temporarily dead. I don't trust you, and for good reason, so NO we will not stay out of your way, and NO we will not be passive. You could have been our friend, but you have chosen poorly.”

A wormhole envelopes her, and drags her into the center of the black hole, which begins contracting, the pull getting stronger and stronger. the black hole, bigger then any seen before, goes through every dimension. She is trapped inside, and most likely dead upon impact with the singularity, as it is literally infinite everything, in an infinitely small space.

(Again, this probably didn't actually happen, but i just needed to vent. it wasn't just this, there's other things i'm frustrated with. The “captain america too… american” topic I started is one of those. It was pointing out something funny.I thought we'd all make jokes and laugh. I did not want a bunch of cynicism, say the exact thing that the comic makes fun of! I'm tired of cynical people. they are everywhere. yesterday i got to listen to someone go on about conspiracies, and how the world, and government sucks, concluding with her belief that we will all go to hell if there is one, and that she'll be on the lowest level, and she didn't seem to mind. before that I talked to a guy that seemed proud to be an asshole, and got criticized for not shoving people out of my way in the hall. When did it become wrong to be an optimistic, ethical, moral conscientious person? When did it become wrong to actually trust the government on some things? when?

sorry for spilling on you, but it gets tiresome some days.)
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 12:35PM, June 4, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
(Venting is good. I'll get to that in a moment.

As for her actions… thats part of her character. I think we can have this happen quite handily. Except the wormhole thing, because she was on Earth, and if you drag her through it, you drag Earth through it and crush your home planet (Because she isn't going anywhere, and she has decided that pretty strongly, so to get her you would have to drag the planet through too)…

I'll respond to the actual story in a moment. I must apologize first though. I've hijacked this whole thing to a pretty large extent. To be fair, it is the only way I could think of to actually break out of the world you had created. I did that because, at first, you can't win King of the Hill playing by other people's rules. Home ground advantage, see? Then, after the goal of winning didn't actually fit the character I had developed it turned into me trying to, essentially, narrate a story. Kinda like having two DMs or GMs or whatever the hell you want to call it. I'll try to think of something to put it back on your home ground. Actually I might have already.

What do you think of this?: Karnuovia vs Varamortian thing is pretty much done, so we bring it full circle. In other words, back to the simulation. How? Caligula has got himself into your quarantine system, that is how he was redirecting his control to the creature. Not his full self (fighting “gods” as you call them is relatively insane), bit bits and pieces, so he isn't some kind of invincible monstrosity. Neutral, as we can call her, decides to go in after him, but wants to keep a low profile to avoid being recognized by Caligula (essentially having to use technology instead of her ‘mind power’ or whatever, just like what Karnuovia was doing). This levels the playing field and brings it back down to characters instead of simply fucking with the laws of physics. Almost like a sequel actually. And as we already know, your agents can cause significant harm to these things in the simulation. We can even bring it to different worlds if you wish. And since Neutral is not Karnuovia, and given the recent event, there would be plenty of conflict between characters. And, of course, you know your simulation world's far better than I do.

Tell me what you think. Then we will see what happens.

Now. I'll talk about the other things too. Captain America? I am cynical about that character. I'm sorry, but I am. There is, however, plenty of potential, and there was that whole “renouncing American citizenship thing” too. Things could get quite interesting with Captain America; quite soon. But I don't mind the comic making fun of me, why? Because it should. Making fun of cynics should be a popular past time, so long as what the cynics are saying actually is considered, because sometimes they are right. But I would think that cynics would appreciate being made fun of (so long as it isn't too mean spirited or ad hominem). I don't know why, exactly, but… eh.

Conspiracies? Government? Etc? Yeah, sure, some of it might be right (this is the approach I take to it). But… it sounds like raving lunacy sometimes. I mean, please. Chem trails in the sky is an attempt to pacify people with chemicals? Obama was born in Kenya? Bin Laden isn't dead? No. No thank you. That's just silly. There is no reasonable evidence for it. And I love it when they try to put the burden of proof on YOU! HA! Uh. Yeah, here's something that might cheer you up. I may not always agree with it, but I do get laughs out of it from time to time: http://americanloons.blogspot.com/ That is the “Encyclopedia of American Loons” and, yes, sometimes it makes me wonder where humanity is heading. Sometimes it makes me laugh myself to near death. It doesn't take a kind view to most conspiracies. I suggest taking it in the lighthearted manner it is meant in. Or, if it isn't meant in that manner, it is still best to take it in that manner. Ahem, anyway…

Government. I've got nothing against it except when it does something wrong. Which, contrary to what some believe, is NOT ALL THE TIME. But it does happen.

I'm, personally, agnostic. I don't think hell, or whatever, can be proven one way or another. I'm sure that there is some version of hell that, possibly, exists where anyone would be at the very bottom level. And, really, not minding about going to hell is pretty optimistic! Eh? Sorry.

Oh and this lady sounds like someone I know…

You got criticized for not shoving people about?

Yeah. Okay. I've known people who were assholes like that. Common courtesy, it seems, is far from common. Just like sense. But, hey, I'm sure someone has said that before. Still makes me want to deck em in the face though. But I don't, because I'm nice. And because I'm aware of consequences, or I'm a “whimp”. It depends on your point of view I suppose. There are plenty points of view, even those who would say things like “Jesus was a whimp because he didn't fight back.” Now, I'm no Jesus, but… my point is that there are many different viewpoints, and some are more legitimate than others. I suggest you try not to let assholes like that person affect you too much. Easier said then done, yes, but…

I don't believe that it is “wrong” in any way to be an optimistic, ethical, moral conscientious person. I do believe in a plurality of meanings for what is ethical and moral. I assure you that my ethics, and I like to think they are good, are probably quite different from yours on certain levels. That doesn't make me better or worse than you, by my standards anyway. So don't worry, and vent all you like. Venting is healthy.)
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 4:37PM, June 6, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
(back. sorry. I sort of snapped.

care to explore 137?)

“I think I know what she's after.” a message from the Rogue system arrives.

It is a report that an unauthorized audio transmission was made, and that what ever was in quarantine has been transferred. It is currently unknown where the transmission went, or what the state of whatever was sent is in, though it is either dead, or horrifically alive.

(since it's an embodiment of insanity, it probably survived, but has been rendered even more insane.)

the matrix returns to the system, which is still hidden. She might be on earth, but it is doubtful she knows where that is…

A search goes out to find where the transmission went, and where she went. she needs a name. Betsy will do until a better one comes around.

as that goes on, Diplomatic talks go on with the Ceti planets, who are likely quite thankful. Also, a lot of construction.
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 11:26PM, June 6, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
Meanwhile. On Earth. (The actual Earth)

“Hmm.” A disembodied voice speaks. “I will need a body for this I fear.” It sighs. “Something He won't recognize.”

A casually dressed woman appears. It really doesn't matter what she looks like, as it won't be what she really looks like anyway.

“And a name. Names are important. Betsy will do. For now anyway.”

She remains silent for a minute.

“Now, what to do first? The thing was in that place over there…” Her eyebrows raise. “But it isn't anymore. Oh, Hell. And it will just be a clear warning if I probe around any further. Slimy, sneaky, bastard! Hrumph!”

“Perhaps I shouldn't have gotten so angry with that ship. Of course, if Mr. Crazy starts running about in their computer system… Well whatever. Worst case scenario is that they would just have to lose one. Blow it up or something. He is pretty much confined to their system. After all… He modeled that fragment after a computer virus. Of some kind. Now, so long as he is complacent long enough to not start rewriting rules…”

She shakes her head and sighs. “But that is an unacceptable outcome either way. I'm not letting him run about free anywhere, and not at the expense of anyone if I can help it!” She scowls. “If I have to.”


There is a light whisper, it sounds sick and weak and unhealthy all around. “Yes? W… What can I do for… you?”

“I would like for you to find out where Boot Boy went.”

“M… Me? D… Ha. You really need to… don't need me for this…”

“I want this over as quickly as possible. Less damage done. I know you can deal with it.”

“You… know, just ask… them to help. Praetorians are… busy… I am not in, exac… best shape. And, you've forgotten some…”


“They can hear you. This is where… Azraeel killed… creature. They have their… watch… and they are… better be… recording this.”

“Huh. So it is. Look, Karny, I just want to get this over with.”

“I wish… not so…” Karnuovia's voice gives a grunt. “I can't… worse than… often.”

“So I see. I will let you rest.”

“Thanks. Oh… Hello Tiberius. They will… show you… too… c-” There is a cut off.

Betsy sighs. “Looks like I do this the hard way. Well. Hurry up with contacting me!”

(137 sounds like a great place to explore. And no apologies needed! Also, “Betsy” will probably not have too much trouble with 137. She doesn't quite carry the same sort of prejudices as the Praetorians, or Karnuovia for that matter. If he went to 137 he would feel awkward and rather… touchy. Betsy won't mind in the least.
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 7:47PM, June 7, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
“let her wait. We have no need at this moment of someone with contempt for us. Keep an eye on her tho, and see if the 5th dimensional labs can find a way to speed Canuoeva's recovery. It would be nice to have him around, at least he seems to like us.”

(don't get your hopes up for a quick fix. 5th dimensional physics is a new science after all)

“Jansen, your in charge of the matrix. Me and Mary will load up, and take one of the enterprise's shuttles down to the surface as soon as we get an idea of where to look. As soon as we have the time, we should look into more direct connections for ease of transference, we seem to be in need of that more and more.”

Tib, and Mary get loaded onto hard drives, and transferred to the enterprise, then loaded onto a shuttle craft. When they get to the surface they will be transported by essentially an APC. It has the equipment to run the two agents/paladins in a miniature simulation, and room for a few humans, plus food, water, backup power. It has no weapons, but is protected completely from the elements, and armored.

They get word that Caligula is in 137, and head there. The messages are all encrypyed, so even if betsy hears them, she has to figure them out.

(I don't have time to make a cipher, or other sort of cryptography puzzle , so we'll just conclude she doesn't immediately act on the information

(the reason they don't have the weather under control is that weather is complicated. manipulating gravity is one thing, the weather is different. It would require a global network of towers, methods of controlling everything from air pressure , to humidity, and have to account for seasonal changes, the occasional earthquake, and volcanoes. it's more cost effective to just shut the vents, when the vents work)

(they haven't been networked more effectively together for security reasons, and because the time period in the simulations only recently reached a point where they could grasp the outside world. So until relatively recently they have been focusing on progress, but now they are running in real time, instead of sped up, and they now have time to pursue exploration, and science. then shit happened and they are at war now. that's why most of their stuff is not armed. the black hole tech was to be used to power, transport, explore, defend against celestial phenomena, and generally make exploring the universe, and all it's dimensions possible. Luckily it was easy to re-purpose as a highly effective defense, and stealth mechanism)
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 8:37PM, June 7, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
Betsy is fine just waiting. But that doesn't mean she does nothing, simply due to boredom.

She warps reality enough to cause a small cloud to appear and give her a light rain. She also causes grass to grow around her so she can lie down in comfort. She is fairly confident that they will need her help in the long run.

Also, there is nothing you can do to speed Canuovea's recouvery that has not already been done. They are absolute masters of that type of power.

Also, she may not notice the transmission, but she almost certainly would notice the APC. And from there she would be able to track where it is going… and… well… (But no, she won't hear it nor act on information she can't hear.)

Meanwhile. What is part of Caligula begins changing certain areas of 137 to meet his needs. This involves cutting these areas off from manipulation from the outside. In effect, making Him the administrator for those locations. He also, in a sense, germinates bits of himself throughout the world. There is no noticeable effect for the inhabitants at this point though. He is able to accomplish this partially due to his head start.

In addition, there are problems beginning with the maintenance bots in the facility, though not anything too serious.
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Tiberius at 10:24PM, June 14, 2011
posts: 111
joined: 4-3-2011
(I got perfect scores on the reading, and writing sections of my placement test for college. I am so happy, I just wish it wasn't community college. oh well, maybe it will turn out to be like the sitcom “community”)

Upon arrival, and entering 137, the group is briefed on the situation. Caligula is somewhat isolated in his section, and has formed a dark kingdom located around Brazil. Due to his infection simply transporting to Brazil to solve the problem, or any number of other quick fixes are impractical, or impossible. Caligula is more mad then he was before, less coherent, and unstable due to how he arrived.

The paladins are stretched near breaking trying to contain all the incidents. to cope, much of the citizenry is allowed to arm, heroes are called to protect their communities. The majority stay home to protect their family, and friends, but still a considerable amount form adventuring parties, and head out to rid their area of “monsters”. rationing is enacted to cope with the soon to be food shortages, and stagnation of the movement of goods.

With the lack of manpower only a small group will be free to proactively deal with Caligula; Tiberius, and Mary. They of course have the full support of everyone, but will still need some sort of expert on Caligula… they are not happy about this fact.

(sorry it took sol long, you'd think summer would free up more time)
The post apocalyptic genre- one of the most optimistic of all genres.
Because we somehow survived the end of everything, and have built a pretty nice town to boot, sometimes with pig powered electricity!
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM
Canuovea at 11:04AM, June 15, 2011
posts: 287
joined: 6-25-2010
(Good job! And no worries about the time. My understanding of Community College is that it is quite useful in some ways. Cheaper and with smaller classes than the first years of university. You take what you can get I suppose, and look on the bright side of life! *whistles*)

First off, things will only get worse for 137 over time. Caligula is busy expanding as much as he can, not because of any strategic reason, but just because expansion means more people for him to… well, best not to get into that quite yet. Anyway, he is also trying to explore different zones, not just the main one. If there is a “heaven” or “hell” in 137 (like the “Heaven” that Canuovea and Tiberius were in) he is attempting to enter (though he is far more interested in if there is a “hell”). Basically he is finding out what makes up the whole simulation.

Also, the “monsters” that keep appearing are, more or less, derived from the nightmares of the populace and Caligula's own mind. You get the generic stuff, lycanthropes, dragons, vampires, zombie hordes, “demons”, angry human consuming vegetables (no farmer is safe in their own field!), etc. But there are also more sinister things. After all, the human mind is capable of strange strange imaginings. But the zombies are pretty nasty things, same with the vampires and lycanthropes because instead of some kind of virus they spread Caligula's influence when they bite/whatever. While Mary and Tiberius (and Betsy) don't quite have to worry about this too much, the average person? Is in trouble. As such, the adventurers running about may contribute to the problem.

Betsy, meanwhile, is getting bored. She grows a grove of trees and has them move about as chess pieces for a bit. This may seem odd, but she is working up her mind to deal with Caligula. But that would come down to the worst case scenario. Though she is expecting to be contacted relatively soon.
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:18AM

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