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Off Hours
ifelldownthestairs at 10:22PM, Jan. 28, 2010
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posts: 431
joined: 7-4-2007
Off Hours - great art, but we didn't really think of it as any more than a glorified fan art gallery. Thoughts?
you know why birds don't write their memoirs? because birds don't lead epic lives, that's why. who'd want to read what a bird does? nobody. that's who.
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:15AM
harkovast at 3:21PM, Jan. 29, 2010
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posts: 5,197
joined: 10-12-2008
Man, this forum IS bad ass!

For more Harkovast related goings on, go to the Harkovast Forum
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:15AM
dueeast at 4:02PM, Jan. 29, 2010
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posts: 1,093
joined: 5-6-2007
I thought it might be self-serving to respond in the comments section. I appreciate the kind words on the art.

Concerning the story, I'm curious how much of Chapter 2 you guys read? A lot of chapter 1 was spent on introducing the characters, the concept and experimentation. The second chapter starts off with an extended action sequence and then goes on to character development.

There's still almost 20 pages left and you will see quite a bit of story progression.

Regardless, thanks for the review.
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:15AM
harkovast at 4:44PM, Jan. 29, 2010
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posts: 5,197
joined: 10-12-2008
If the story takes off in the second half then I would recommend restructuring heavily.
The early section gives the impression of no plot to speak of and this makes it very hard going.
By the time I got into chapter 2, I was so burned out I wasn't able to take much in.

For more Harkovast related goings on, go to the Harkovast Forum
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:15AM

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