A life so changed...
Nigellashade on July 25, 2008
Dearest DD.. It's Nigellashade…
My heart is heavy right now, after all that happened.. all that was done..
I don't come here with good news..
(The reson why it's just a symbol of flowers..cause my step-father ~Arnold~.. he always wanted to give flowers to us, when he was himself).. This isn't much but it's what i can for now for my emotions..
My step-father… Passed away.. He's gone..
I don't want others to say that it might be the best way..
Cause I knew the man he was, (before he got sick).
Anyone who suffers being manic bi-polar will understand this.
They aren't in control with their lives, and he did try..
It angers me how the system let my family down, how they treated Us… Exspecialy him.
Cause they perposly hurt my mother, they made sure she had no power to stop anything.
Because of this, now he's gone…
And it wasn't really by his own hand, it was a accident with his motorcycle.
I did love him, even though his illness caused our family grief.
We were the only ones, who didn't really close our door..
It did esculate, and it didn't turn out well..
I feel pained no one will ever know…that he was a good man.
And he did at some point made my mother happy..
But after he got sick, that's when we lost him.
My heart is aching to much….I wish I had better news..
But I don't know what to do anymore.. ;__;
Thank you…. all of you for being supportive.. I wish it didn't end this way..;____;
To all of you with Love…
Marisa..
Antionestrife at 11:19AM, Aug. 23, 2008
Hey Shadey, it's been a long time. Ypu probually don't remember me. I have that book Rain Of Gods I finally updated. I may have returned but I'm not sure for how long. Anyway I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I know you have been through allot stuff in your life. Take care yourself and your sister. Peace out.
Bowdy at 4:49PM, Aug. 19, 2008
Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about this...I supose at least you understood, and you loved him, and he knew that, which will have meant more than anything any doctors could ever have done. Take care, I hope you and you're family heal soon.
Rina_ran at 9:14AM, Aug. 12, 2008
That's so horrible to hear. And here I was in high hopes to see you come back in better spirits. I really ache for your lost. I can't compare any of my own life experiences to this, but through your words I can tell you've been deeply hurt by what other have done and what a higher power has taken from you. This is a feeling that even time may not heal, but as long as you keep the good memories of him in your mind, maybe you won't be burdened by the loss. Stay strong Marisa, I wish you some lighter feelings so that you will feel better.
katyas at 12:51PM, July 30, 2008
So sorry to hear of this :-( I hope you find your core and that things go better for you soon.
Wazaga at 3:47AM, July 28, 2008
that's so terrible... I'm so sorry for your loss...
Drazi500 at 3:51PM, July 27, 2008
Dearest Marisa; I'm so sorry to hear about your family's loss. I wish you all the best, and I give you my condolences for the Good man your step-father was. But in a way, he's at peace now, he's back to the good man he was, even if he can't be with you, you can take comfort in that fact. You have the power to get over this and help your family over it. Be strong. My condolences. Draz ~
Tamao at 1:09AM, July 27, 2008
...I feel so sad for you... It's so sad when you loose someone dear to you... especially when it went so suddenly... The best is to talk with people about it, your family, your friends... cry it all out, it's just the best... I'm not sure what else to say... I feel terrible for you...
Tantz_Aerine at 11:24PM, July 26, 2008
Trust that all is for the best, and remember him in the way you prefer. Don't shut away pain and don't be afraid to ask for answers, and show that you are angry. It will be resolved faster and you will receive what your heart needs.
Sonusai at 10:20PM, July 26, 2008
I'm so sorry. May you be comforted with all the mourner's of Zion and Jerusalem. I am a high functioning bipolar person. (If that is what one would call it.) I'm so sorry for your loss. Again, if you need anything, just let me know. I'm here for you, at least digitally.
allanah at 9:06PM, July 26, 2008
Nigellashade, I'm so sorry to hear the news. I wish there was something I could do for you. I really don't know what to say. I guess I can sort of understand how you feel because I lost my mother this summer too. I didn't have these complex emotions to deal with though. I can only pray for you and your family's strength in these difficult times. I'm around until the 8th of August if you need to talk. Please take care of yourself. *hugs*
athenastar17 at 8:12PM, July 26, 2008
The universe really needs to stop throwing you lemons. It really does. After all you've been through already, it needs to just quit bad-karma-ing you and let you breathe for a second. *huff* I mean, what's the universe got against you guys anyway? The only thing I can do now is offer you a shoulder if you need it (a digital shoulder) and hope that from now on, you can find some peace and stability. I know what it's like to lose someone whom you used to know as a beautiful and wonderful person, but slowly lost themselves until they just weren't the same person anymore. Their passing seems like it should be relieving, but really, it hurts all the more because it's almost like you've lost them before. Please feel free to send me a message even if I'm AFK...I'll come and see it when I do get on again. I'll do whatever I can to help. (Which isn't much. But it's really the thought that freaking counts. *hugs*) ~Kaori
Twilight_of_the_gods at 7:14PM, July 26, 2008
Nigellashade, there really aren't any words good enough to express the kind of sorrow you must feel. A few years ago, I lost my bi polar brother, so I have an idea of what you're going through, but everyone's pain is different. I'm very sorry that you have to go through this horrible ordeal. Try to feel better