TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE DIALOGUE! I found an artist! He is working on character design right now. Here is the script and expect to see the actual thing in a few days.
Maybe try to jazz up the vocabulary a bit, it sort of feels like it's been dumbed down for the reader. For example, I'd lose the 'borrow' part... Go with acquire instead, or something to that effect. But don't worry too much, your script gets the point across, and everyone improves over time.
Hope your new artist works out, I'll check back when you've got some images up!
rmmanuel at 11:45PM, Feb. 14, 2008
Yep, throw in good action words and give everyone an opinion....that's what I was told to do on my stories :)
Emotional at 11:11PM, Jan. 19, 2006
I think your on to somthing, I'm adding you to favorites.
Green_Tangerine at 9:39PM, Jan. 16, 2006
Maybe try to jazz up the vocabulary a bit, it sort of feels like it's been dumbed down for the reader. For example, I'd lose the 'borrow' part... Go with acquire instead, or something to that effect. But don't worry too much, your script gets the point across, and everyone improves over time. Hope your new artist works out, I'll check back when you've got some images up!
Chronicaust at 1:24PM, Jan. 16, 2006
I need criticism, please tell me what is good/bad. Do I need improvement? I thank anyone who helps me out here.