Umm... dude... I'll assume you didn't get the rant I left on page one, and I'll repost it, but with stuff added.
"Ok, I think I see some problems here. Fortunately, it's all stuff you can probably work out quickly.
1. The yellow outline is not really necessary. If you must use an outline, please use a more subdued color in the future.
2. The speech bubbles don't have tails leading to the characters. This is a big one cause ya gotta do your speech bubbles right in order for a comic to succeed.
3. Color coded font is really annoying. It implies emotion and makes it awkward to read. [color=red]Imagine[/color] [color=cyan]reading[/color] [color=violet]a[/color] [color=green]book[/color] [color=brown]and[/color] [color=orange]all[/color] [color=blue]the[/color] [color=yellow]words[/color] or [color=red]sentences[/color] [color=indigo]being[/color] [color=green]different[/color] [color=violet]colors...[/color]
That's a little awkward to read, ain't it?
4. Breaking the fourth wall. If you absolutely MUST do this, then keep it to a dead minimum. The fourth wall is there for a reason. If every character knows they are in a comic, then the plot is cheapened up by this. It makes the world in the comic seem smaller and less interesting.
The good? You realized that this is a comic and not a game screenshot. I can tell this by the fact that it is structured like a comic.
The two other problems that are introduced in page 2 are the attempt for pity praise, and blatantly putting your guy as an author.
The problem with pity praise is that, well... It's kind of annoying. It doesn't really convince us of anything and doesn't make us laugh. It just annoys us.
And the author character thing has a tendency to cheapen up any storytelling. Your plot is instantly changable to anything you want all because of that one character. I makes it so your story will be very cheap and not very entertaining.
Fix the flaws and keep comicking."
becca9901 at 6:29PM, Feb. 5, 2008
Hay can i have a cameo of your sprite please?
HellAshes at 6:54PM, Sept. 13, 2006
Yeah, I missed your comment on the first page. Thanks for the tips BTW.
Egnio at 6:34PM, Sept. 13, 2006
Just use dark colors for text as you're doing. But it'd be better if you used black. If you make the border of background of speech bubbles with color, that'd look more original. And yes, a tail on speech bubbles would help, unless you use the color methods that I told you about (still, tails are better). Don't use many clichés, like authors or 4th wall anihilation. Yuo'll find out sooner or later that author characters will lead to nothing good. In fact, I've seen 3 comics that started with author characters, got cheap, eliminated their powers, and got better when they lost most of their randomness. The comic looks fine, just improve... and characters must be facing EACH other when they're talking between them, not facing the audience.
Rich at 5:53PM, Sept. 13, 2006
Umm... dude... I'll assume you didn't get the rant I left on page one, and I'll repost it, but with stuff added. "Ok, I think I see some problems here. Fortunately, it's all stuff you can probably work out quickly. 1. The yellow outline is not really necessary. If you must use an outline, please use a more subdued color in the future. 2. The speech bubbles don't have tails leading to the characters. This is a big one cause ya gotta do your speech bubbles right in order for a comic to succeed. 3. Color coded font is really annoying. It implies emotion and makes it awkward to read. [color=red]Imagine[/color] [color=cyan]reading[/color] [color=violet]a[/color] [color=green]book[/color] [color=brown]and[/color] [color=orange]all[/color] [color=blue]the[/color] [color=yellow]words[/color] or [color=red]sentences[/color] [color=indigo]being[/color] [color=green]different[/color] [color=violet]colors...[/color] That's a little awkward to read, ain't it? 4. Breaking the fourth wall. If you absolutely MUST do this, then keep it to a dead minimum. The fourth wall is there for a reason. If every character knows they are in a comic, then the plot is cheapened up by this. It makes the world in the comic seem smaller and less interesting. The good? You realized that this is a comic and not a game screenshot. I can tell this by the fact that it is structured like a comic. The two other problems that are introduced in page 2 are the attempt for pity praise, and blatantly putting your guy as an author. The problem with pity praise is that, well... It's kind of annoying. It doesn't really convince us of anything and doesn't make us laugh. It just annoys us. And the author character thing has a tendency to cheapen up any storytelling. Your plot is instantly changable to anything you want all because of that one character. I makes it so your story will be very cheap and not very entertaining. Fix the flaws and keep comicking."