Time Bomb (Part 55)
KDog on May 2, 2021
For more on Schwartz's “Pizza First” campaign, visit the “House Call” storyline.
THAT DARNED COMMANDER BLACK
Ever since this comic launched, I've been touting that it was “a story for LEGO Space since LEGO never gave it one.” I never thought that was a bad thing, as The LEGO Group left the narrative open, only providing the broadest strokes that allowed kids like me to fill in the details with our imaginations.
Well, it turns out I'm a big, fat liar. And in the worst way, because I've learned that LEGOLAND DID create a series of Space and Futuron advertisements in 1985 and 1986 that starred none other than a black-suited Classic Space astronaut named Commander BLACK, Jens Black, who flew around space in the Gamma-V Lasercraft!
According to Brickipedia, Commander Black embarked on such adventures as responding to an SOS from the Alpha 1 space station, helping them fix a stabilizer that prevented the base's destruction. In another mission, Commander Black noticed that Roger Robot had created a cooling system error on the Cosmic Fleet Voyager by going into its computer, and the stalwart commander threatened to “scrap” Roger if it happened again!! Roger did indeed screw up again, sending the Cosmic Fleet Voyager spiraling toward a mysterious planet. Commander Black relented on the severity of his punishment, however, ordering the robot to clean the new station they built on the planet. Commander Black and his fellow astronauts found little of interest on this new world until Roger redeemed himself by discovering it was hollow and inhabited. Commander Black and Roger Robot went on further adventures, entering a “time tunnel” that deposited them at the Futuron Monorail Transport System. There, they encountered an astronaut named Major White and took a ride on the Stardefender 200, which Roger accidentally split into its three components by pressing the wrong button. Oh, Roger…
Granted, Commander Black had combed brown hair while Commander Schwartz has spiked black hair. “Schwarz” means “black” in German, so LEGO and I were clearly operating on the same level of cleverness in our astronaut naming. And Commander Black is quite stern and accomplished, which Commander Schwartz most certainly is not. But Jesus, have I been creating Commander Black fan fiction all these years????
According to Brickipedia, Commander Black, aka Spaceman Jens, was likely named after the late Jens Nygaard Knudsen, creator of the Classic Space theme and minifigures. The black spaceman figure (the rarest in the series) was supposed to represent spies, per Knudsen.
Spaceman Jens has been brought back in some recent LEGO video games. How should I feel about this? It's not like I think that LEGO is ever going to see and proclaim this comic and Commander Schwartz canon! Yet he's real to me, and after writing this comic for so long, complicated feelings of jealousy arise whenever LEGO does revisit its Classic Space theme, such as in The LEGO Movies. I certainly don't own LEGO Space; I've just been playing in its world for a long time. But seriously, LEGO picks the very same ship and astronaut to star in the little bit of official Space fiction it does produce?! I guess we both know cool when we see it!
Read the Brickipedia article and see links to the Commander Black comics here: https://brickipedia.fandom.com/wiki/Spaceman_Jens
— This is not an official LEGO comic. This is a tribute. Recommended for older kids and adults.
man in black at 5:41PM, May 2, 2021
It is quite a responsibility
KDog at 11:51AM, May 6, 2021
So much easier just to go back to bed.
bravo1102 at 8:23AM, May 2, 2021
Not Commander Black, his cousin, a couple of times removed. On his mother's side.
KDog at 11:51AM, May 6, 2021
We are.... BROTHERS!!!!
Vaiman Tobe at 7:46AM, May 2, 2021
By the way, "But Jesus, have I been creating Commander Black fan fiction all these years????" was the funniest thing I've read all week. What a twist!
KDog at 11:52AM, May 6, 2021
LOL, thank you. It was quite a revelation for me.
Vaiman Tobe at 7:44AM, May 2, 2021
Well, if it was obscure enough that it took years for anyone to even remember that comic existed, I think it's safe to say the 'real canon' of Lego Space isn't all that strong. To me the bits of info in the catalogues is more canon than say 'Jim Spaceborn'. In the end I like the canon of Lego Space a lot more anyway. Speaking of which, I love the twist that the prevalence of aliens in the future (2000s themes) has made people like Jenny clamour for simpler times were there were mostly only human factions (the 80s and 90s themes). I've always seen the themes as appearing in-universe in roughly the same order as they came out. So this not only makes sense, but it welds together those storylines well. I mean, in the last space theme so far aliens were so common they were litterally a pest dealth with by a spacefaring pest control agency (Galaxy Squad). Who wouldn't want to go back to before the first contact XD
KDog at 11:56AM, May 6, 2021
You're awesome, thank you! I have incorporated elements of the catalogue lore I've picked up on over the years, but I believe at this point it doesn't all match up 100% because I didn't know much about it when I began the comic. I do try to go in sequence with the release years of the themes, but I don't think I'll ever extend to true representation of Galaxy Squad, as I don't have them and it would be even further in the future of the main story.