Art and stroy are very polished. You need work on transitions though! I am a bit lost in your story. You never introduce anyone with names upon meeting them. You never explain anything and it leaves me confused. Transitions are key!!! (I harp on this a lot here on DD, everyone who reads this is probably rolling their eyes, but its true!)
giovanni at 12:04PM, Jan. 11, 2008
was that really the taster or someone else in disguise?
ipokino at 3:22AM, May 3, 2007
Art and stroy are very polished. You need work on transitions though! I am a bit lost in your story. You never introduce anyone with names upon meeting them. You never explain anything and it leaves me confused. Transitions are key!!! (I harp on this a lot here on DD, everyone who reads this is probably rolling their eyes, but its true!)