p24 - Disruption Yellow 6
Redemption on May 6, 2009
This is the first time I've drawn cracked glass. Neat.
On a serious note.. is anyone willing to share their opinion on how/where I can improve Timeloss, or just what they think of it in general? I'm looking for ways to improve. :)
Art.
harkovast at 4:13PM, Sept. 23, 2009
If I was these guys I'd go and get a fire arm...or failing that an axe!
SplicerParade at 4:47AM, Aug. 29, 2009
Oh crap. So the demon ninjas are only visible to the people they're hunting? That could give our heroes some problems. Your cracked glass is fantastic. And it's perfect how you show the slight visual differences between stuff seen through the glass and stuff in front of the glass and eee. You're awesome.
Redemption at 11:47PM, May 11, 2009
Thanks, Cthonic!
Cthonic Cultist at 8:43PM, May 11, 2009
Crrrrrazyness! I like it!
Redemption at 7:56PM, May 8, 2009
I'm sorry its taken me so long to respond. Please bear with my long reply following; I'll try to get a forum link up within the the next weeks, in case its useful. DOCTOR SHADOW: Wow, thank you! I had wondered about the speech bubbles; I'll try a new way of doing the tails to line up with the mouth better. LILAC: I'm sure you'd make an excellent plumber. ;) Wow, thank you. If you do ever think of suggestions, please let me know. I appreciated you pointing out the eyes last page. N Y JAPLANDER: Oh good, I'm glad you can already tell no-one else can see the figures! I didn't know how clear I'd made it. And... thank you. In that case I'll keep at it, keep trying to polish up and stay open to future feedback as the story has more pages to develop over. DARKWATERFREY: Thank you. I had a few concerns over how to colour the cracked-glass linework but it seemed simple highlights worked well enough. JONKO: Thank you! Please do feel welcome to give suggestions, I figure you'd have some valuable input as I like the way you write your comics. EMILY ELIZABETH: Thank you very much. Wow... I really appreciate your encouragement there. Honestly, I'm not intentionally trying to freak you out or anything! DAJB: I suppose I can forgive that. Seriously though, thank you very much DAJB. Both for your encouragement and support. :) FREEFALL DRIFT: I had also wondered if the border was a bit distracting. I had a few other ideas.. I'll try to find the time to experiment a bit then update the archive. Thanks! KAYLOVE: Honestly, thank you very much. I hope I can keep on building the story and fleshing it out well. AMANDA: Got it in one! I'm glad that seems to have come across clearly! Thanks for rating. STARWOLF: Thanks for the rating.
amanda at 2:13PM, May 7, 2009
Whoa! So they can't see the creepy bug ninjas? Scary!
Kaylove at 12:08PM, May 7, 2009
No complaints here :3 The art style is great, very original, the characters are easily told apart, and the sotrys building up rather nicely :3 I look forward to seeing where it goes ^^
freefall_drift at 11:33AM, May 7, 2009
How come your outside border is ragged and fades to black, but the gutter between panels is a hard straight line? They seem at odds. Also the fade doesn't quite come up the color, like by the 24 or the left side of the middle panel. ... it's all flashback, but bouncing back on previous pages, it seems somewhat consistent.
freefall_drift at 11:13AM, May 7, 2009
I just stumbled onto your site from this last update. I'm liking it very much. Looking forward to seeing where you are going to take this.
DAJB at 10:24AM, May 7, 2009
Nope. No suggestions for improvement so far. Loving it just as it is ... Sorry! ;-)
Emily Elizabeth at 9:52AM, May 7, 2009
Holy muther of....! That's terrifying! XD I think Timeloss is perfect and needs no improving. The art is amazing, the story is fantastic and for some reason its one of the few comics that can actually freak me out XD
Jonko at 9:51AM, May 7, 2009
I'll lookout for ways you can improve, but to be honest I can't find any flaws at the moment. The art is amazing and the story has just begun so I don't really have anything to complain about yet. Will keep in mind that you are looking for feedback as I continue reading though! The last panel looks absolutely amazing. You are great at drawing broken glass, can't believe it's your first time!
darkwaterfrey at 9:07AM, May 7, 2009
That glass turned out really good.
n_y_japlander at 8:01AM, May 7, 2009
No one can see the dark figures..... cool!!! *how to improve.... to be honest, this comic is unlike any I have seen, it is original. And to change originality would be redundant... with only 24 pages, it is hard to tell where the story is going, so the only honest critiquing can be on the art... Don't worry, the longer you stick with it, the more critiquing you will get!
Lilac at 7:53AM, May 7, 2009
Well sir...it looks like the glass cracked right thar. Oh yeah. I could totally be a plumber or something. :3 As for ways to improve...I'm not sure. I don't really have any complaints. ^^;
Doctor Shadow at 7:03AM, May 7, 2009
I was always told, this is from a number of sources: If you can make sure the tails of your speech bubbles line up with the character's mouths in regard to dialogue. It helps the reader connect with the character more. Draw an imaginary line from tail to mouth.