War Machine 7
Neilak20 on May 29, 2007
Page 7 of War Machine
This was an attempt at a flashback, but I dont think it worked out very well. The page was a bit violent, dark, hard to read, confusing, and the sound effects arn't very prominent.
I'm still working at utilizing sound effects better, as well as conveying stories better.
Neilak20 at 4:56PM, May 31, 2007
Nick: Thanks for the honest cretique ^_^ I do agree the story is very very very very cliche. It gets worse btw XD
Evil Emperor Nick at 1:06PM, May 30, 2007
I think it is to much emotional play on character we don't really care about just yet. It comes off as cliche rather then dramatic because we don't care that bad things are happening to good people at right now and that seems to be the focus of the pages. That said if this is a fast build to set tone and introduce concepts it could work out and I'm willing to wait and see however usually the first few pages should be quickly interesting to hold TV rotted brains on the subject of your comic.