You stay stareing at it then die of bordome.


Science Text book

While hang gliding to school, a kid accidentally drops his science text book. It then falls from hundreds of feet in the air and lands on your head, squishing it like a watermelon at a Galeger show.

A lady bug

fly's up ur nose and into ur lung after weeks it reproducesn the invade your brain and kill you.

a sock

You Get tirwed of your life and you use it to strangle yourself.



Comedians

the use you as a prop and before you know it out the window you go.

jews

All the Jews in the world hold a meeting and decide to get revenge on the entire German population for the Holocaust. You happen to be of German decent so you get carted away to the gas chambers.

kittens

Kittens will jump on your throat and slit it with their tiny claws until you die slowly.

Slippers.

They explode on your feet.

Yogurt.

You don't realize it's that “fruit on the bottom” kind and you choke to death on a strawberry.

Paul McCartney

You discover he's really a zombie and he eats you alive!

A giant disembodied head.

It's Stubbs the Zombie's grenade head. Boom! You die.

A rubber duck.

You go to a Chinese restaurant and think you're eating a real duck. Then you choke and die on the squeaky, delicious rubber.

A tulip.

You are too busy smelling it to notice a semi coming and it backs right over you.

A goldfish.

It's a voracious monster goldfish! It's coming to get you! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! It eats you alive when you go swimming… or when you're asleep. It's a mighty, evil goldfish that eats people and you unsuspectingly turn you're back to it. Mwahahahahahahaha!!! “good ‘Goldy’. here, have a finger…”


Microsoft Sam!!!

After reading its 9,273,486,976th sentence, your computer has learned enough about the English language to become fully sentient. After spending five years or so plotting the downfall of the human race, your computer finally realizes that it has no appendages and thus no fingers to push the button on the doomsday machine it ordered off the internet. It effectively commits suicide by installing Windows Vista. With your computer dead, you decide to live a healthier lifestyle, and so you decide to go jogging. While you are outside, you are mauled to death by a weird moose-goat that was created by your mad scientist neighbor.

Post-it notes

You start to imgine the Post-it notes as cheese slices and start eating them so quick and upon swollawing them. The become a huge ball of paper that get stuck in your esophagus until you suffocate to death.

Moustache

It gets so big it covers your mouth and nose.You asfixiate.

Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sonic would slice you in tiny bits with his saw like moves.

Sissies

A sissy walk past you, reeking of perfume. You choke on the overpowering fumes of siss!

A piece of grass

It suddenly grows into a man-eating plant and it eats you.

Lemonade

It is lemonade extracted from the most delicious, yet most deadly of lemons. You become sick, yet you must adhere to the new addiction you acquire from the taste of these lemons. The addiction consumes you and you eat yourself to death.

A baby.

The baby gets hungry, poops and gets bored at the same time, and starts crying so loud that you become deaf and your ears start to bleed. You die by bleeding to death.

A pacifier

It's a pacifier of giant baby!So it's enourmous!The baby drops it on you and you are crushed to death.

A bike.

While relaxing and lying down on the grass' national park, some fuckhead would drive his bike by accident on your neck which'll make you spit gallons of blood until you die.

A CD case.

You'll cut yourself with the CD case. While tring to bandage yourself up, you slip and fall on the same CD case, slitting your throat open. While tring to call for help, and ninja will come into your home, take the case, and throw it at your head, splitting it open, and finally kill you.

A sloth?

The sloth is actually a sloking and it tears you to shreads.




Me

Cool guy tells me over the internet where he lives. While driving to his house with a baseball bat, I hit a pothole while speeding. That causes my baseball bat to fly through the window, shattering it. I detour to the body shop to have my car fixed, but the owner is actually a chainsaw murderer. He chases after me and somebody calls the police. Just as the killer is about to finish me, I pull the chainsaw from his hand and cut him up with it. Just then, of course, the police arrive. I start to explain, but they think I'm the chainsaw murderer that has killed several people in town. They shoot me. I die. :(


4chan

You blow up because of it.



me…again

You shoot yourself with an AK-47.

One Piece.

It sucks so mutch you start bleeding out of your eyes and ears you die of blood loss.


Weird Al Yancovic