This interview is of Nergal, whose comics are: Why Does Everyone Hate my Guts?, Jester to the Rescue, and lots of others!

(interview conducted by Pieguy259!)


Pieguy259: First of all: admit it, you're really a small male kitten!

Nergal: Who told you that? I demand to know!! Actually we're known as mittens around these parts.

Pieguy259: Wait, hang on, that's Nermal. Um. One sec. *flips through pages* Oh, here we go. Ahem. Admit it, you're a horrible black tentacle monster from the centre of the world!

Nergal: Hahah now you got your facts straight!

Pieguy259: I KNEW IT! But who are you really? Who is the woman behind the green-haired avatar?

Nergal: *GASP* Who are your sources!!?

Pieguy259: WikiLeaks!

Nergal: I should've known. That's the last time I use that bathroom!

Pieguy259: But seriously, folks. Tell me a bit about yourself. Who are you? What are you doing in my house? And what, besides the clockwork, makes you tick?

Nergal: The answer to all three is cheesecake. You really shouldn't leave any by your window. You should probably install some better security too. I also like comics. They make my world go ‘round. Especially if they involve cheesecake. I’m not a giant fat guy if that's your next question…*ahem*

Pieguy259: My next five, actually. Damn. Erm… *flips through pages* When I looked at your profile page for the first time, I was boggled by your huge rack.

Nergal: What? I took that picture down!

Pieguy259: …Of comics! Your rack of comics.

Nergal: Oh I see. Yes I seem to have a bit of an addiction to making new comics.

Pieguy259: How did you amass such a gigantic collection?

Nergal: Many years of not focusing on one idea. Every time I get a new idea I make a new comic for it. Having no life helps too.

Pieguy259: You appear to have been going for a long time - Hawkshaw Familiar is dated New Year's Eve 1969!

Nergal: Yes that was a busy year for me. I started that comic with hopes for space flight. I then went on to being one of the first people to land on the moon. Good times good times.

Pieguy259: Fascinating, fascinating. So you invented both the World Wide Web and DrunkDuck decades early?

Nergal: Yeah but I got no credit. Al Gore be damned. He started DrunkDuck too right? I've been meaning to sue some people but comic making got in the way.

Pieguy259: Astonishing achievements. Well, on to the comics themselves. We'll start with Why Does Everyone Hate my Guts?

Nergal: I don't know you well enough to answer that. Do you bathe regularly?

Pieguy259: Well, I do only own one pair of underpants, but I was referring to the comic.

Nergal: Oh right of course. My completely original webcomic review comic. Basically I woke up one morning pondering on the fact that there isn't anybody out there reviewing comics and then drawing it into a comic for people to read. Naturally I had to do something about it.

Pieguy259: So, like a webcomic review comic… on the web?

Nergal: Yeah. I would've named it that but it was already taken.

Pieguy259: Scoundrels. So, why did you choose to only review comics with fewer than 25 pages?

Nergal: You know I was afraid of reviewing larger comics because by the time I would get my hands on them my advice wouldn't matter much. They had already developed and in some cases reached their full potential by then. At that point I realized that I had to get at them during their younger stages, when they were just starting and could be molded into something better. In other words, I'm lazy.

Pieguy259: Ah, get 'em young and you can mould them into your own image and eventually form a vast webcomic army to do your bidding?

Nergal: Yes exactly. And no-one would suspect a thing.

Pieguy259: Where did you get the inspiration for the “comicvores”?

Nergal: Discovery Channel I guess. I was just trying to think of a reason for me to be reviewing comics other than ripping off someone else's idea *cough* so I imagined what if there were a species who relied on me to point them to a good comic in order to survive. Thus the comicvore was born. Otherwise I'd have no business reviewing comics.

Pieguy259: I think I saw that documentary on Animal Planet.

Nergal: You didn't see nothing. I don't need anyone accusing me of ripping off anything else now y'hear?

Pieguy259: But are there really creatures who go around devouring comics? Should the people of DrunkDuck be afraid?

Nergal: Only if they have good comics. Comicvores only like good comics but if theirs gets eaten they should take it as a compliment.

Pieguy259: No wonder Stickman and Cube has lasted so long.

Nergal: Maybe they took the day off? Now that I think of it all of my comics are still around too. Those comicvores wouldn'
t know a good comic if it hit them in them in the

Pieguy259: Oh dear, I broke your speech circuits.

Nergal: Sorry about that. Just got a little too excited. Those comicvores make me so angry now!!

Pieguy259: Don't Hulk out on me!

Nergal: I've learned to control it. Besides I just wear a purple robe so it all rips off when I go Hulk leaving me naked. And you wouldn't like me when I'm naked.

Pieguy259: I'll take your word for it. Any plans for the future of WDEHMG?

Nergal: Yeah I was planning on it ending soon but people keep signing up so I guess that's out. Actually I will be taking the main stage again once my new companion robot arrives in a couple of weeks. I also hope to improve on my reviewing techniques. I gotta give credit to Hark and Kev and the other reviewers who stuck with it for so long.

Pieguy259: Oho, hoping they'll let you off easy if you suck up, eh?

Nergal: Yes it's true. So suck up I will. Only until my army is complete that is.

Pieguy259: Now, Jester to the Rescue. I think I speak for all of us when I say: What is WITH that guy?

Nergal: He's just a superhero, you know, another one of my original ideas. Most of the time what's with him is his sidekick/pet raccoon Pablo.

Pieguy259: I see what you did there. So is there a method in his madness or is he just nutty as a squirrel convention in a cashew company?

Nergal: A bit of both maybe. Some suspect his idiocy is an act and by some I mean me, but I assure you that's not entirely the case. Actually more of his background will be revealed in upcoming pages so I suggest everyone go read it and keep refreshing it until new pages are put up. You won't want to miss it.

Pieguy259: Exciting! Will we be learning his superhero origin? Was he in an explosion at a clown factory?

Nergal: No not quite as exciting as that. Hmm, you haven't published that idea anywhere yet have you?

Pieguy259: No, but I should. Does he have a secret identity, or does he just have a jester wife and jester kids?

Nergal: Now don't be too hasty with that publishing business. As for Jester, let's just say he's always in his birthday suit. Ladies, he's also single!

Pieguy259: Way too much information. And who's this mysterious figure schmoozing up to our policeman pal?

Nergal: Well he's the main arch-enemy, for now anyway. Obviously he has some things in common with Jester and shares a past with him. As we learn more about him, including his name at some point, we'll also be getting a glimpse into Jester's origins as well.

Pieguy259: Don't tell me. His name's Retsej!

Nergal: Now why didn't I think of that! Hey you haven't used that name anywhere else have you?

Pieguy259: I use it at work, providing tech support for people in India. Finally on the subject of Jester, where did Pablo come from?

Nergal: Well you see when a mommy raccoon and a daddy raccoon love each other very much, wait I used this joke in Jester already. Yikes I'm ripping off myself. That's like ripping off to the tenth power. Oh wait you hate math so I'll just get off that subject. I so did not want to paint myself this way during this interview.

Pieguy259: How did you want to paint yourself?

Nergal: Completely in blue paint with some tribal markings. Maybe even a cool tail-like appendage. See I can be original!

Pieguy259: Sounds original to me! Not ripped off from FernGully at all.

Nergal: See I never even heard of that. Must be some crazy Australian cartoon about deforestation or something. You crazy Aussies!

Pieguy259: Ha ha, yes, we’re all completely insane A FLURGY BLEEBY BLOO. Right, Evil Snowman. I freely admit I didn't actually read this one, but I assume it's about some kind of evil snowman?

Nergal: Actually it is about the current state of our political world and how it affects all of us. It's filled with lots of social commentary and deep analysis. Evil Snowman just sounded like a catchy title.

Pieguy259: So who is the “evil snowman”? Is it Obama? Bush? Sarah Palin? Or could it be that we all have an evil snowman somewhere inside of us, waiting to get out and… melt in a sinister fashion?

Nergal: Yes that last idea sounds good. Right now I haven't gotten to that point. Right now I'm just up to the part where an Evil Snowman befriends a little boy and through his magic takes him into various media parodies where he goes on to killing most of the people involved in a gory manner. Right now they're doing Snow Trek: The Next Generation. I like this comic because I get away with ripping off things under the guise of “parody”.

Pieguy259: So, what about your 18 other comics? What are they all about, respectively?

Nergal: Really, I have 18 more? God I need to get out more. I guess they're all about action, adventure, romance, you know, typical junk comics are about. I appear in about 5 of them myself so guess some of them are slice-of-life as well.

Pieguy259: Which ones? Any gnarly sex scenes?

Nergal: Hmm well you know I need more readers so yes, all of my comics have gnarly sex scenes. Some may even be hidden so everyone go out there and try to find them. Read every page carefully now. You won't wanna miss it. As for the comics with me in them, don't worry I have a body double film all my scenes.

Pieguy259: Oh, good. Any plans to continue any of those other comics?

Nergal: Yes. I try to work on all of my comics a little each day. I updated One Shot which hasn't seen an update since the beginning of the year. I also am working on two others as we speak.

Pieguy259: Which others?

Nergal: The first comics I started, Galaxy Wars and Present Day. Monster Tree should also be expecting an update soon. Right now I'm setting my mind to seeing one comic to completion so I'm going to start focusing my attention on Galaxy Wars since it's the shortest of the comics I planned out so far. I of course will continue to try for daily updates with ESno and Jester & weekly with WDEHMG.

Pieguy259: What about the greatest of all your comics, So Bad You Will Go Blind?

Nergal: Yes but that will sort of be going into a different direction to allow for more updates. Apparently blind people don't like Bob the Contract Killer.

Pieguy259: A shame. Well, finally, what advice would you give to budding artists looking for the moderate fame and lack of fortune associated with webcomics?

Nergal: Wait patiently until that day comes and when you do get there call me and let me know what you did. Until then rip off as much as possible.

Pieguy259: Nergal, thanks for stopping by. OK, next up on Late Thread with Pieguy259, a man who claims to have seen Bigfoot riding the Loch Ness Monster as it escaped from aliens!

Wait…Nergal is a chick?

Or am I? DUN DUN DUN

Pieguy's a great interviwer. Everyone sign up to get him!

This interview made me laugh!

And Harkovast still sucks, except for the awesome colored pencils. Just kidding.

Hilarious interview.