Chapter 5 Page 14
Abt_Nihil on Jan. 15, 2010
Sorry for the delay! Things have to be very hectic in order for me to neglect signifikat… and believe me, this year started extremely hectic for me.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
REPLIES:
JNP: I know! I'm sorry, I'll give my thoughts on the previous page later (next week, probably). I just don't seem to find the time. However, I'm going to reply by commenting on this page, so hopefully you'll forgive me!
The placement of the “damn”-box is supposed to guide (that is, force :P) your gaze down the 1st panel, and not right to the next. I know it doesn't meet comic readers' intuitions too well, but as I said, I'm trying to guide the reader here rather than meet his expectations. The reason for this is: I want your gaze to go down the 1st panel, then up again in the second panel, so transitioning to the window in the third makes sense. If I had placed the “damn” higher, your gaze probably wouldn't go up the building. At least, those were my intentions. They may have failed :P
Also, if you look at the previous page, it was Ed's surroundings which de-materialized, rather than himself. On this page, I kept my pencil lines in the first two panels to show the transition from his POV to the little girl's solid black-and-white world.
JNP(2): Right, I think I'll change the sentence's placement for the print version.
DAJB: Hey, where were you? You know you should be here every Thursday ;-) Glad you liked the cocktail… cheers!
mmm bacon0, man in black: Thanks!
DAJB at 9:02AM, Jan. 20, 2010
Hey! I've missed lots! When did you sneak all these pages past me?! They're all good (obviously), but I especially liked the New Year's cocktail (possibly even more predictably!)
JustNoPoint at 5:17PM, Jan. 17, 2010
I should have said "Ed's world is rematerializing" foh I think what got me was Ed's eye. They are looking directly at the word box in panel 2. I see what you were wanting to do now though ^_^ That would have probably worked a tad better if you had broke up his sentence and/or gave him a few more lines in the 1st panel that led their way downwards. And I figured you were too busy... just giving you a hard time =D
JustNoPoint at 5:08PM, Jan. 16, 2010
Better late than never! You were supposed to give us your thoughts on the last page >:-( The word "Damn" slightly confused me on whether to read it 1st or the bigger box in panel 2. My eyes went toward panel 2's box instead. Other than that, this page flows surprisingly well! At least Ed is starting to rematerialize =p