112. The Ugly Truth
usedbooks on Feb. 27, 2011
I have been raising a litter of rat pups for the last few weeks, and that led to a discussion with some friends on the cuteness (and lack thereof) of different species of newborns. Horses, deer, guinea pigs, and hares are born precocious, which means they have fur, open eyes, and can move around on their own. Rats, mice, rabbits, and pandas are born altricial, which means they are blind, helpless, and undeveloped. It is a breeding strategy to shorten gestation and protect the young in a den or nest (precocious animals often live out in the open with a herd). The most altricial mammals are marsupials, which, lacking placentas and the hormones involved with them, have to conceive and give birth within a single estrus cycle. A kangaroo joey is born with nothing more than arms to crawl to the pouch and a mouth to suckle. I considered using a kangaroo for this gag, but a panda seemed a more accessible joke, since there are real toys that portray supposed newborn pandas. (They are cute toys, btw. Realism is not always the best strategy.)
Genejoke at 1:26AM, March 15, 2011
Classy. I want one.
meemjar at 11:42PM, March 1, 2011
@Usedbooks: It's the same with birds. Landbound/flightless birds like penguins, ostrichs and chickens hatch precocious chicks, while tree-dwelling flying birds hatch altricial chicks.
Warpedwenger at 3:43PM, Feb. 28, 2011
I'm not a fan of new born anythings. My best friend had a baby recently blah! Babies are gross to me.
usedbooks at 2:38PM, Feb. 28, 2011
Yeah. Human babies are altricial. In the most basic definition, altricial applies to any animal that cannot walk/run/swim on its own. Precocious animals are mostly the types that live out in open fields or open oceans. Because it requires a longer gestation (putting the mother at risk), it is not common among animals that can provide any kind of shelter. And among apes, humans must be seen as the ugliest. We aren't furry or anything (well, most of us aren't... and the furry ones are weird). We're the [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphynx_%28cat%29]sphynx's[/url] of the ape world.
meemjar at 2:18PM, Feb. 28, 2011
Technically speaking Humans are also born virtually altricial. Our closesy relatives the apes and monkeys have babies that are mostly precocious.
ayesinback at 10:31AM, Feb. 28, 2011
This might be one of the reasons why I hate ultra short hair styles (on me). Makes me look like a large altricial mammal.
AzuJOD at 2:06AM, Feb. 28, 2011
I guess realism was also ignored when they made those [url=http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/6708/]microbe plushies[/url] you can get from Thinkgeek.
Anubis at 12:13AM, Feb. 28, 2011
Baby kangaroos look like little pink jelly beans. Think about that the next time you have one....
patrickdevine at 11:44PM, Feb. 27, 2011
Aw! So cute! Just not conventionally so.
smkinoshita at 10:30PM, Feb. 27, 2011
Heh, I work in marketing and realism is usually a bottom priority. Pity that, it can pack punch.