City of Intrigue pg 2
Lord Rend on Oct. 21, 2008
Slightly messed up the shading on this page initially, but I think I fixed it somewhat. Aside from that, I am slightly unhappy with the text, although it is better than on the previous page I think.
Note on what Lockre is talking about in the center row of panels:
Life Dancers are natural empaths as Lockre hints in the middle panel. Due to this, they hate to feel another person in emotional turmoil, which is what Mira interprets Lockre's emotional state as. As a result, they try to console those they can, but it is similar to a psychologist (they help but are not necessarily your friend). The only difference is that Life Dancers aggressively seek out people to help instead of letting people admit they need help.
*Semi-spoiler alert*
Quick note on Lockre's statement in panel two, he is actually speaking literally. I will not say more than that right now, it will be kind of explained fairly soon in the comic anyway.
Lord Rend at 4:07PM, Nov. 25, 2008
Thank you for the note on the perspectives and distances, I will take note of that in the future.
R Cain at 2:17PM, Nov. 21, 2008
Still liking the sunset, by the way. I also like the red personality that creeps into the "NO" and in his eyes. Something to watch out for with changing perspectives is making the distances match. I didn't catch it until I stared and thought, "What could I point out for him to improve?", but between the fourth and last panel, it looks like he backs up when she proposes to be allies. (This could also be seen as him reconsidering his decision to leave ^^) Honestly, I can't see any messed up shading or text, so you must've fixed it up pretty well! Oh, and YES! Bargain with him, Mira! You know he wants an ally!