Hehe.

*snickers*
…

All your monocoles belong to us.

I vote to lynch zeph.


What do you mean I have to wait till the actual game starts?
Lousy rules…spoil all my fun…
*returns to secret bunker to plot more revenge*

MAFIA XXVIII, The Determined, the Demented, the Deamons!

As after all horrible disasters, the town of Townston was rebuilt, all dead and undead brought back to life…except Harkovast, they left him in hell because the town wanted a break from teh advertizements. Harkovast, instinctively feeling the need to advertise his comic, started to do so in hell. This antagonized the demons to no end, so they decided they needed a new place to live. And so they sent before them Harkovast, booted out of hell, along with 15 demons recruited into his fan-horde. Then, they laid their coals-for-eyes onto Townston. Seeing that it was a peaceful place, and not filled with the smell of blood, they decided to make a hell on earth, for vacations. Kinda like a house in Florida, except with half-dead people being constantly tortured. And so they poured into Townston, killing, pillaging, and raping the place to the brink. But then the angels came, and helped to fight back against these evil creatures. Now, only a few of the demons are left, a handful of townies, and one, only one, angel left. So, who will win this? The demons? The Angels? Or perhaps the only follower of Man-Bear-Pig? Only time, and some epic narrations, will tell!
Roles:

PRO TOWN:
x Detective
x Vigilante
x Priest
x Paranoid
x Veteran
x Townie

Criminals:
Demons:
x Overlord
x Minion
x Tainted One
Serial Killers:
x Cultist


ELECTED/GRANTED POSITIONS
These are additional roles and powers that can be granted to some of the players, via election or random selection. Use them wisely.

Mayor
The Mayor is elected at the start of the game and has numerous roles. His special abilities are:
Seal of the Mayor: Increased vote count of 2 during lynching.
Desperate times, desperate measures: The Mayor can declare 2 double lynches anytime during the game When double lynches are in effect each player gets two votes on two different people.(must notify me during night cycle or early on in the day so voting can be arranged accordingly).
Did you ever know that you're my hero…: Both mayor and Pardoner cannot be killed during the night while the bodyguard(s) remain alive. The mayor will be informed of the identity of the bodyguards.
Let's celebrate!: The Mayor has the option of insta-lynching one player by the end of Day 1, once he's won the election. No voting takes place. Whoever the Mayor picks gets lynched. Take heed though if you plan to use this ability since no clues have been given that could help point you at a criminal at that time.


Pardoner
As a check and balance to the Mayor, the pardoner is the runner up to the Mayor. The pardoner has the ability to cancel two lynches throughout the game. Pardoning both suspects during a double lynch will use up both powers but it's also possible to pardon one suspect while lynching the other. The pardoner will have to notify me within one hour of lynch vote results before the lynch is actually posted. He is unable to pardon on the insta-lynch. The pardoner will also receive protection from the bodyguards but will not be informed of their identities.


Bodyguard
Random Townies will receive the role of bodyguard once the mayor has been elected. The bodyguards and the mayor will be informed of their identities. As long as the bodyguards are alive, the Mayor and the Pardoner cannot be killed via night hits. A bomb sent to a protected person will also be intercepted.


PRO TOWN!
Lynch a bad guy during the day. Survive the night. Rinse and repeat. Players who are Pro Town are in business to save Townston from corruption.

Angel
You are the winged guardian of Townston. the only surviving angel, you have decided that you cannot follow orders when not recieving any. So, you take it into your own hands. Each night you can target and kill someone who you believes to be a villain. Be careful who you chose though because you just might be taking out a friendly.


Priest
You have the ability to watch one other player during the night, which you must tell me about before the end of night. When a player is watched he cannot die unless the number of people attacking him outnumbers the number of people watching him or his night lives. In other words if two mafia members attack a person being watched by one priest, the person will die. The narrative will state that someone was attacked but saved and the narration will include a clue pointing out the identity of the attacker. It does not matter if the priest chooses to watch someone before or after he is attacked; he will protect that person regardless.


Veteran
You've been around the block a few times and know how to escape an attack on your life. But for how long? The veteran gets two lives, meaning two hits must be made on him before he dies. A veteran can survive a bombing attempt if he still has both night lives but it will count as a hit attempt.


The Detective
The detective is after the bad guys of Townston. His brilliant reasoning skills and numerous contacts makes him among the best investigators in the Town. The Detective is capable of using his powers both day and night.
And you are?: Using this ability the Detective can find out much about the person that he's scrutinizing. Things like, what size of shoes he wears, his favorite brand of toothpaste, magazine subscription but most importantly, he can find out if the villager is a Pro Townie or a criminal. (Mafia and serial killers will show up as criminals, unless they have powers to help hide their identities.) This power can only be used twice.
Who dun it?: Whenever a crime has been committed, it's up to the detective to investigate the crime scene. Should he choose to investigate someone, the detective can figure out if that someone was responsible for the crime (The detective can ask the GM if a specific player committed a specific crime and get a yes/no answer).
This election has been rigged!: Looking up the vote results, the detective can figure out if any criminals participated in the election. Should he choose to use this power he'll be able to find out if any criminals voted for a specific player (mayoral or lynch) and also how many criminals voted in it. This power can only be used once.


Paranoid
The paranoid is a tiny bit, well, absolutely insane from almost being killed by a cult. They did manage to sacrifice several parts of him first though, including a kidney, one of his…reproductive organs, and the part of the brain that keeps you sane. During days, he's perfectly normal but during the night he keeps to himself and relives the horrors of his past. The Paranoid will kill whoever was the first person to target him in any way during the night, whether it be mafia or townie (such as a priest opting to protect him). The Paranoid is unable to NOT kill, but will only kill one person a night. Should two persons interact with him during the night, the first person will die but the second will not. Special note, investigation powers can be used on him without fear of death since the Detective is merely investigating him and checking his background and is not directly interacting with him. Also, the paranoid is not aware that he's insane and thus believes himself to be a normal townie.


Townie
As a townie, you stand to loose big, should the mafia ever manage to take control of the town. Be critical! Be suspicious! Most importantly, be on time to vote for a lynch or you won't have any fun at all.


CRIMINALS!

MAFIA
The mafia’s win condition is to kill all the townies and rival opposition. Unlike townies, all mafia members know who each other are. All mafia members can kill once per night cycle. With the exception of the Godfather, a mafia member cannot kill fellow mafia.

Demon Overlord (No, hes not a Republican…well, maybe)
Like the Mayor, the overlord has several special abilities in his arsenal.
Send him a message: The overlord is able to leave a severed hydra in the target's bed. This will scare the targeted player, causing him to go into hiding for the next day and night cycle. During this time the player can't perform any action at all. He can't vote for the next lynch and he can't use his powers if he has any. While the player is in hiding he can't be killed. A person who's already been targeted with a hydra head attack can't be targeted again.
Call in a favor: The overlord can once per game, cancel a lynch. If he uses that ability, during a double lynch, both lynches are canceled.
Behind the curtains: The overlord doesn't dirty his hands since he has his goons to carry out his orders. The overlord will appear as a pro-townie to the detective. He's also considered to be protected if he's attacked during the night.
Now you've really pissed me off!: The overlord has decided to take actions into his own hands. By brandishing his sword the leader has taken to the streets. He gains the ability to kill once per night but looses all benefits he received from his Behind the curtains power. If the Overlord is the only mafia member left, this power is automatically activated.


The Sinful One
This demon is so full of sin, it seeps out of his pores! This demon cannot attack, but his ability is that if he is lynched, then someone of his choosing will be turned into a Minion. even the leadership is vulnerable to this. but, if he chooses the priest, it is just randomized who is turned. He is told after he is lynched that it was the priest.

Minion
You are a minion. Each night you get to stab somebody in the face with a pitchfork. Don't forget to have fun.


SERIAL KILLERS
While these individuals are not allied with the Mafia, they're none the less dangerous people. Their ultimate goal is to be the last people standing or cause as much chaos as possible.

Cultist
Townies? Bah, them and their not slaughtering! I worship a true demon lord, those townies and their good karma must be gutted like my old high-school friends! What, demons? They are not true darkness, I worship a darker lord than them! Man-Bear-Pig! In short, you're not right in the head. Each night you must kill someone of your choice to satisfy your blood lust. Leave none left standing.

Mettaur
Minion
You are a minion. Each night you get to stab somebody in the face with a pitchfork. Don't forget to have fun.

Pitchforks? That's trademark infringement. I'm the only one with the right to use pitchforks, tridents and regular sized forks. Please remove this blatant offence or I shall take the neccessary steps to remove you from this competition…

Kroatz

Mettaur
Minion
You are a minion. Each night you get to stab somebody in the face with a pitchfork. Don't forget to have fun.

Pitchforks? That's trademark infringement. I'm the only one with the right to use pitchforks, tridents and regular sized forks. Please remove this blatant offence or I shall take the neccessary steps to remove you from this competition…

Sir, you own the copy-right of BLUE pitch-forks, these are a dried blood red color.

-drinks soda- Lynch me you say? Thats no fun.

NIGHT NARRATION

Two people were walking through the streets while chatting…well, walking may not be the best word. More like stumbling around in a stupor while singing songs drunkenly.
“Wash, wash that thing you was supposed to say when I got all teh boosh?”
“Uh…I thinks it was ‘rebos ecobro’?”
Suddenly, the shorter of the two straightened up, and notched his hat firmly over his face. (Priest is no longer drunk) “Huh, almost had it slip off, that wouldn't have been good. So, what were we talking about?” The drunkard seemed to stop and think,“Hm, oh yea, I remember now! YOU SOB! STAY AWAY FROM MY BOOZE!” The short ones eyes seemed to glow with anger, as he fumed,“What about that time you drank half of our inventory, huh? I forgave ya then, didn't I? And you even ate all the salted peanuts to go with it!”
The drunken one said quietly,“I was still dealing with my loss, remember?”
And then it seemed the short one shared a sadaness with his inebriated friend,“Yeah, shouldn't let a dog out without a leash, or Gullas will return him to ya later with some spices…but what about the time you almost ate my cat?”
“If yo don't want that to happen, stop bathing him in that lemon stuff when I drink!”
“Lemon stuff? You mean the flea bath?”
“Ifsh youse compares it to cigars and Booze-ounds, that stuff smells delicioush!”

After hearing all this, the minion jumped down from the roof-top, onto the pavement below. Meaning to crack the pavement dramatically infront of them, he instead flipped to many a time in the air, then fell flat on his face. He quickly straightened up, and proclaimed “I am the almighty overlord! Bow down to me!”
The two looked at each other, then back to the Minion, then started to laugh hysterically.
The demon was furiously, as the Priest said “Overlord? Really? Shouldn't you be, ya know…scary then? Or at least boss of something?”
“I am a boss of something! Pitchforks! Well, only a certain type, and then only the ones located in Ohio…but it does matter not! You will perish!” As the deamon lifted his weapon, the priest lifted his hands and from them zapped a light, which turned the attackers weapon into a standard pitchfork. The minion shrieked,“I cannnot slaughter with such a thing! It will take me at least 6 months to repaint it! Look, I'll be back later, okay?”

And as the demon ran off, JNinjashadow looked back to his protector for teh night, and asked“Ish that from teh booze, or am I just gettin all crazy again?” The small one said,“Nah, nothin to worry bout.”
JNinjaShadow the Town drunk was saved from a unholy end!

In this country to have shat means to have previously taken a dump.

So WTF IS SHATTING?!

I meant to say chatting. It was a typo, but you have nothing to say about the idea? What about the infected one? He isn't an interesting addition?

Mettaur
I meant to say chatting. It was a typo, but you have nothing to say about the idea? What about the infected one? He isn't an interesting addition?

You don't have an infected one in your roles, just a tainted one. I like the idea of the tainted one but I think it would be more fun if he'd get to pick someone that would turn evil…

Kroatz

Mettaur
I meant to say chatting. It was a typo, but you have nothing to say about the idea? What about the infected one? He isn't an interesting addition?

You don't have an infected one in your roles, just a tainted one. I like the idea of the tainted one but I think it would be more fun if he'd get to pick someone that would turn evil…

Actually, that is a better idea, thanks Kroatz! I'm going to change it now, if that's allowed?

Also, I meant Tainted One, just having troubles typing.

I liked my blacksmith role. It was a pro townie recruiter. Well. By recruiter i meant he could assist townies who where useless.

Mettaur
Also, I meant Tainted One, just having troubles typing.

The taint is the area between the balls and the asshole.

Also known as the perineum!

Kroatz

Mettaur
Also, I meant Tainted One, just having troubles typing.

The taint is the area between the balls and the asshole.

Kroatz

Mettaur
Also, I meant Tainted One, just having troubles typing.

The taint is the area between the balls and the asshole.

Thanks Kroatz, I was having a dandy day, I just knew I needed someone to f— it up by acting like a douche. I think I was low on my daily douche, now I can go get pissed off for a good reason!

Seriously. Its true. Look it u- Nevermind. Better not googling taint.

Okay, I guess I'll change it then. Honestly, that's all to talk about? Another meaning for a word, that I didn't know, and is vulgar? That's all you could find to talk about, nothing about the styles, approvals, recommending different things to do?

NEVER GOOGLE TAINT WITH SAFE SEARCH OFF!!

I did come up with a suggestion!

Kroatz
I did come up with a suggestion!

I unfortunately googled that too.

Kroatz
I did come up with a suggestion!

That is true, but then you delved into something about…I'm just dropping the subject. So, I'm about to see Iron Man 2 with my family, is it any good?

I've not heard too many good things about it… Mickey Rourke is of course awesome but the story is just a rehash of part one. I'd try and enjoy the visual effects if I were you. And be on time, you don't want to miss the beginning, it's the best, and funniest part!

Mettaur

Kroatz
I did come up with a suggestion!

That is true, but then you delved into something about…I'm just dropping the subject. So, I'm about to see Iron Man 2 with my family, is it any good?

It is good. You see more of Rhody/War Machine. There is a more developed plot than the first one and there are numerous laughs.

Kroatz
I've not heard too many good things about it… Mickey Rourke is of course awesome but the story is just a rehash of part one. I'd try and enjoy the visual effects if I were you. And be on time, you don't want to miss the beginning, it's the best, and funniest part!

Thanks, I'll try and be on time! Oh, and I saw a preview of Marvel vs. Capcom III…do you think the womanizing Tony Stark will have met his match, fighting a succubus?

Mettaur

Kroatz
I've not heard too many good things about it… Mickey Rourke is of course awesome but the story is just a rehash of part one. I'd try and enjoy the visual effects if I were you. And be on time, you don't want to miss the beginning, it's the best, and funniest part!

Thanks, I'll try and be on time! Oh, and I saw a preview of Marvel vs. Capcom III…do you think the womanizing Tony Stark will have met his match, fighting a succubus?

Probably not, Stark just throws around some money and the succubus loses.

Iron man 2 was good. Bad reviews but it actually was a great movie.

Speaking of marvel movies. And my recent deadpool obsession

Anyone else thinks that Ryan Reynolds isn't gonna be a good deadpool?

You know something im wondering. If circumcision is supposed to be a sin why do jewish people get their kids circumcised?

During a biology lesson would it not be like.

“And today kids we're talking about the foreskin.”

“No miss youre lying! We don't have those!”

Hakoshen

Kroatz

Anthony Mercer

TheFlyingGreenMonkey
And No Talent has updated. It even has a special geust! Everyone go there now and leave a comment. :3

Speaking of which, Philthon Jones updated two days ago! Everyone go there now and leave a comment. :3

Speaking of which, Zom updated yesterday!

Speaking of which, Two Weeks Notice updated five minutes ago! Everyone go there now and leave a comment. :3

And then tell your friends.

Commented. And now to tell a friend. Hakoshen you should totally check out Two Weeks Notice. It has a cool new background and everything!


Back to my comic, No Talent. Hark has come forward and admitted that he discriminates when it comes to art quality. Also he likes my comics new look.

With endorsements like that I'll sky rocket to the top 100 for sure!