108. Quantum Reindeer
usedbooks on Dec. 12, 2010
I remember the day I learned that gluons and quarks really do exist, and the universe isn't as simple as people had me believe. I was eleven years old when I discovered a small paperback book on a dusty bookshelf in our living room. The title of the book was “The Cartoon Guide to Quantum Physics.”
What a heavy burden it is to know a truth your peers do not! Just as they believed that reindeer couldn't circumnavigate the globe loaded with the high mass of a billion gifts and working against the opposing forces of friction and gravity, I was realizing that if all the reindeer and gift particles were transformed into waves…
Well, I'm sure you're all old enough to know the truth about Christmas, so I won't bore you.
Canuovea at 12:12AM, Dec. 29, 2010
Yeah? Well... what happens when you drop an apple on a quark? Huh? ...
Nicotine at 12:15PM, Dec. 14, 2010
Lol, this sort of thing goes way over my head. But luckily that girl has a really smart mother, she'll be the smartest one in her science class. :D
smkinoshita at 6:36PM, Dec. 13, 2010
Easy -- Santa warps time and space. And that's not the truth 'bout Christmas. Linus already covered one half of it anyway. ;)
harkovast at 2:59PM, Dec. 13, 2010
No! No its not true! Shut up used books! Newtonian Theory explains everything, damn it! Stop ruining the magic!
EssayBee at 11:52AM, Dec. 13, 2010
Ah. A perfectly sound application of Occam's razor. I'm gonna have to remember this explanation.
Macattack at 10:37AM, Dec. 13, 2010
YES!! This response has totally made my week!
Locoma at 9:17AM, Dec. 13, 2010
hahahha very clever, I want to be that parent XD NEVER GIVE UP FANTASY
ayesinback at 8:56AM, Dec. 13, 2010
LOL!! "The Cartoon Guide to Quantum Physics" sounds like something I should (make that could) become acquainted with
Nerd Fury at 6:44AM, Dec. 13, 2010
.........Dang, I never thought of that. If anyone needs me, I'll getting milk, cookies, and a net bazooka.
meemjar at 12:12AM, Dec. 13, 2010
Santa Clause DOES exist! Even if only as an example to us all to strive for generosity at least once a year, if not all 365 days as the ghost of Christmas present said to Scrooge.
Darius Drake at 12:05AM, Dec. 13, 2010
I still like the Dresden File's explanation. He's real, but can't work on the scale he's expected to.
AzuJOD at 11:56PM, Dec. 12, 2010
I thought Santa Claus could do what he does because he's magic, and thus is not bound by the normal laws of physics!
Anubis at 11:34PM, Dec. 12, 2010
I used einsteinian/hawkings physics to explain Santa