Kitty dun like me

lba on April 15, 2008

I have been blessed with the amazing chance to live with a couple of very active and energetic tabbies who hate my guts. I'm not exactly sure why they hate me, but whatever I did to them must have been bad seeing as how I deserve severe punishment. These two cats seem to have made it their life goal to kill me. I'm guessing that they think if they get rid of me, my parents will take my portion of their inheritance and make it into a “happy kitty foundation” or some other such organization with the sole purpose of buying catnip. Their main plan seems to be to drive me insane by doing incredibly stupid things to the point at which I throw myself off a cliff in a delirious stupidity induced panic. To this end they seem to have done some sort of scientific research as to what is most likely to cause a human being the most severe psychological trauma. Apparently when they did this study, they decided that getting themselves stuck in the dryer and rocketing out to scratch whoever lets them free after a couple rotations would be the most effective method. And they would be more or less right. Until they realize that I'm smart enough to exploit the fatal flaw in their plan the next time they attempt it: I'm just not going to turn it on or let them out. Someone else can do that.

And good luck to ‘em. They’ll need some shin guards.