Ch. 1 - Pg. 5
KimLuster on Dec. 11, 2017
Well, not exactly like the fights I used to have with my Li'l Bro, but close.
For the writing style here, I'm attemtping something aproximating the Hemingway ‘iceberg’ style (avoid superfluous words and details, keep things concise when it'll work, let the reader infer meaning from context…). Hard to do for someone who likes to write as much fluff as I do, but it's fun to try. Whether I succeed or not is, of course, for you all to determine!
Life and Good Dreams!!
Peipei at 7:59AM, Dec. 12, 2017
These 3 are an interesting family! I love their ride as well, gorgeous!
KimLuster at 9:44AM, Dec. 12, 2017
I do love Chaallii the Jubeast!!
plymayer at 10:25PM, Dec. 11, 2017
Families. All sorts are in them.
KimLuster at 6:38AM, Dec. 12, 2017
Ya, True!!
plymayer at 10:25PM, Dec. 11, 2017
That thing would be hell if it got fleas.
KimLuster at 6:38AM, Dec. 12, 2017
They're probably bigger too!!
El Cid at 4:17PM, Dec. 11, 2017
So jubeasts are basically SUVs that poop! The writing style works so far, and I agree with Bravo's points. You're not writing a *novel* novel, so you can let the pictures do some of the explaining. It might be interesting to see some of the ways you can find to make the text and pictures interact.
KimLuster at 8:01PM, Dec. 11, 2017
Hehe, I guess they are - really shitty mileage!! :) And true that this is not a novel in that sense. For every page I've done the art first and then kinda crafted the text for it (with a general idea of it all first). I've tried to figure out more text tricks, without too much luck so far, but hey, got a ways to go
Jason Moon at 8:05AM, Dec. 11, 2017
Awesome illustration! These people remind me of the tribe you band together in the game, Far Cry Primal. I have a feeling there will be some riding of wild animals
KimLuster at 1:49PM, Dec. 11, 2017
Thank J! I'm not a gamer but I've seen that Far Cry previews - it does look awesome!!
bravo1102 at 6:42AM, Dec. 11, 2017
You don't need as much description with the illustration there. The reader gets what they're doing from it and you don't have to paint a word picture. Interesting tidbit. So not all females can bear children. Wonder if the same is true for males. Male fertility is much more fragile.
KimLuster at 7:08AM, Dec. 11, 2017
That was my hope, that the illustrations would essentially provide the fluff!! :D Plus, without illustrations, this ain't webcomic site worthy!! ;)