page 10
Kristen Gudsnuk on April 4, 2009
ew, I'm not too happy with how this is. I'm exploring new word bubbles, among other layout-y things. For instance, I put Kazimieras' thoughts in a box; if the consensus is that it's better that way, I'll go back and do that for previous inner monologues.
Well, today I went to the Cherry Blossom Festival! A DC staple. It was fun….. uhh… nothing much happened though. we didn't stick around for the bands. meh! I got a little bit of sunburn!? it was very sunny after all.
I saw Adventureland last night; it was really good. it markets itself as a dumb teen comedy, but it's actually a sobering bildungsroman (lol, aka “coming of age” story… german sounds so much better though!) with Bella from Twilight playing the same moody teenager (sans vampire crush).
The rest of the ensemble (especially the proto-hipster friend and Ryan Reynolds,
EDIT: wow, you guys missed a long-winded review of ADVENTURELAND… it got cut off.
fixed the page per hyena hell's advice!
Lilac at 3:58PM, Aug. 1, 2009
Awh, it's sad when parents and children don't get along. D: Haha..sorry for not giving much constructive criticism. I don't think I'm at a level where I can offer very good criticism. :x Plus your style is really neat. :D
theprettiestpony at 5:58PM, April 6, 2009
i luv it
theorah at 2:52PM, April 6, 2009
I agree with what other people have said, the bold white doesnt work with the pretty watercolour! Nice page in terms of composition/body language though :)
Kristen Gudsnuk at 4:17PM, April 5, 2009
oh man! you know, I hand-lettered some of it (the small, less-important stuff like "ok!" etc), and then erased it before scanning... lol oh well. I actually did draw in a box, but covered it up with this uber-white box for some reason. well, I'll play around with such things. The joy of black & white comics is speech bubbles don't look so freakin' WHITE.
HyenaHell at 10:36AM, April 5, 2009
I love his pajamas! RE: Speech bubbles (hope you don't mind the advice- this is just my opinion, of course!): Because your pages have such a wonderful, hand-made/ painterly quality, I think the stark black and white of the bubbles/text is a bit jarring. I would suggest drawing them as part of your original image (like you did on p. 9). The "blank" of the page tends to be less of a bright white, and I think it would blend in a bit better. The rectangle for Kaz's thoughts works a lot better than the white text, except that here you have the top of his head cropped a bit; I think again that if you drew this as part of the original image, you could make it a bit more organic, and perhaps overlap the figure a bit to avoid looking like he's squished in. I also like the hand-lettering better, but I'm biased that way!
Aghammer at 7:49AM, April 5, 2009
sad page... the thought boxes work, either way does... I didn't notice which generally means it works because it didn't interrupt the flow of the story. Even in the first panel where the father seems to say something nice he looks mean. I'm really afraid this story is not going to end well!
Jonko at 7:02AM, April 5, 2009
Never heard of adventureland... We get movies really late here, we just got twilight. Anyway, I like how the pages look. Your new comic is very artistic. I actually think your speech bubbles look really coo, it's a major contrast with the painted art in the background.
Emily Elizabeth at 4:48AM, April 5, 2009
Your characters are so interesting! I love Jadwiga's jacket too, its cute!
Peipei at 4:03AM, April 5, 2009
Wow, the father is so mean x.x.
Kristen Gudsnuk at 10:44PM, April 4, 2009
thanks! well, whenever I'm hungrier than normal I get that feeling... heartburn? acid reflux? idk, but bread always fixes it (& raisins make it much worse.) (hey half of my author's comment got cut off!)
usedbooks at 10:22PM, April 4, 2009
Very accurate descriptions. I hope you don't have first-hand experience with starvation. ;)