I'm going to have to concur with the previous comment. Whenever I'm forced to use a public restroom I generally assume that some guy was freebasing in there about an hour ago.

A while back I was working at a place with a public lavatory. One day my boss called me in and I had to explain that the burnt up spoon he found by the crapper wasn't mine. I'm not sure if that was the most awkward conversation I've ever had, but it's definitely in the top 5.

alwinbot

Orin J Master
man, public toilets are for when you're high, drunk, or desperate.

When else are you going to go to the restroom?

possibly desperate in more ways than one…

sorry, I couldn't help it XD

Air Raid Robertson
One day my boss called me in and I had to explain that the burnt up spoon he found by the crapper wasn't mine.

I know who's spoon it was.

Holy crap (pardon the pun) that's a lot of pee talk. It always kinda amuses me to hear people have similar public-toilet practices as I do.

I've tried peeing along the bowl but I still get a bit of back splash. Perhaps I should not wait until that point of desperation? But if I use a public toilet, it's always because of that level of desperation. At least I always lift the seat (with foot) so there's no way it's getting on it.

Although after finding out about HANDLE back-splash, I'm very glad I flush with my foot and wash afterwards. And have hand sanitizer for good measure.

ozoneocean
You get it on your dick when…

YES ALL THE TIME.

wait wat.

But yeah, technique, pft, I got that. I could handstand, and pee in a urinal.
If I could handstand…

Ryuthehedgewolf
But yeah, technique, pft, I got that. I could handstand, and pee in a urinal.
If I could handstand…

…and if you could pee in a urinal.
amiright? ^^

——————–

What I fail to understand are those creatures that will defile all sorts of surfaces with their faeces… I mean, if you're not going to put it where it's supposed to go and then flush it away, why even GO to a public toilet to begin with? Just go behind a bush or something and save the civilised world from your depredations.

Calling them animals would be problematic… Since we are all actually animals anyway, and many non-human animals are quite fussy about how they do their business.

PIGS are fussier about where they do their business.

Although my family's had a couple of cats who had notorious bad aim. They weren't trying to make a mess. One was a bit on the stupid side, the other was a slob. But the slob was cuddly, loving and tolerant of my father's shenanigans so she's still better than those who make messes in the toilet… since I doubt they're cuddly.

One question about the poopie people:
1. Seriously, you can't aim your butt? Do you forget how to sit down, too?

Catastrophoria

alwinbot

Orin J Master
man, public toilets are for when you're high, drunk, or desperate.

When else are you going to go to the restroom?

possibly desperate in more ways than one…

sorry, I couldn't help it XD

TO THE GLORY HOLE!

The urine thing has happened before, but I address a different issue. Have you ever washed your hands, and have opened the bathroom door, but some messy slob didn't wash their hands, and it got on the handle? then you have to wash your hands all over again?

Mettaur
The urine thing has happened before, but I address a different issue. Have you ever washed your hands, and have opened the bathroom door, but some messy slob didn't wash their hands, and it got on the handle? then you have to wash your hands all over again?

Open the door with paper towels. That's fairly common in this part of Louisiana.

Hakoshen
Open the door with paper towels. That's fairly common in this part of Louisiana.

I constantly do that. In college there tends to be a little pile of toilet papaer behind the door. To many that means that i've been there.

On the seat?

I think that only happens when someone misses the floor …!

same

Hakoshen
Open the door with paper towels. That's fairly common in this part of Louisiana.

I constantly do that. In college there tends to be a little pile of toilet papaer behind the door. To many that means that i've been there.

I always push the door open with my tongue, it's way cleaner and you get some TONGUE excersize too! (Why did I capitalize tongue you ask? Because I can!)

Kroatz
I always push the door open with my tongue

I use my penis.

…wait… we are talking about the same thing, aren't we?

ozoneocean
I use my penis.

You have a penis? I wish I had one, might come in handy one day.

This thread topic is in need of bleach.

Regular for the bathroom.
Brain-type for the visuals.