You asked for it:
From Femoid-SASH:

My name was Sasha Clausvonova. I was a medical doctor specializing inaviation medicine working for a top secret space project. In a few short days I saw every womanco-worker captured by alien attackers and made into mindless, heartless roboticmonsters bent only on destruction. Thenwhen no one else remained came my turn.

I have had parts of my brain replaced by crystals tied intoa complex crystalline control matrix throughout my torso which diverts mynervous system into a powerful beam weapon. I also have had my skin made intoexo-dermal armor which protects me from projectile weapons short of ananti-tank missile. My skin is stillsupple and appears quite normal but my torso has to remain bare for properinterface of the control matrixes. I ama robofemoid. My name now isFemoid-SASH.

From Hank (I called in a favor)

Myname is Hank. Yes, I know what youthink. Thats not an acronym or anything its my name. I am a Grey Guy, a generic human. Long time ago somebody wanted an interchangeablehuman for organ repair and general servitude.So were grey. Now my former bossBob circulated this paper about how to make a human into a mindless, armored,laser armed, death machine. Turned outonly women could be converted. Cool withme I like breasts. Confidentially thoughI like small ones, not huge like Bill or Bob.Did I mention the torso has to remain bare for proper crystalinterface? Cool huh? So all barebreasts, all the time.


Once upon a time Greyguys rebelled against the whole slave thing.We roam the systems now and kidnap people and line up blinking lightsand mess with them but always taking off their clothes. That really upsets most people exceptAordians. Sanctimonious Aordians spoutingtheir advanced morality which sees no stigma in nudity. They got the best looking women in thegalaxy, so I guess they dont mind flaunting it.


So nowBob is dead the Russian thing worked, we made the robofemoids but nowwere out in space because earth got too hot.Nuclear blast hot. Burned offthat unitard we aliens wear as some kind of trope thing. Anyway I prefer abaseball cap and a pair of jeans. So nowwere with Grey Gals. Dominant gender inmost societies across the galaxy is female.They say jump, you ask how high.They chase after you and buy you drinks.Except they want what they want when they want it and the rest of thetime, anything you want, thats just too bad.


Sonow we strip more for conversion and are making more robofemoids to get thembetter and perfect the process and program.Right, so when its all said and done what then? We sell it.Plenty of planets will want this process. You grab somebody, play with some blinkinglights and set them loose to blow stuff up.Thatll shake up stuff in the galaxy and in the meantime I got a Greygal who likes me. Whoo-hoo. And all I did was say hi and show up with abottle of champagne!

I wish I could mimic Bombshell's voice :p

Hahaha, you know, if you don't have a voice actor lined up for these, it's going to be sergeant Banes who acts the part of your character ;)
I going to get Pinky to play her part herself.

I'll be recording it then. Want to save Banes' voice talents for something important.

Aw, we might be able to prevail upon Skoolmunchkin for the female roles ^_^

I'd totally write one for Bombshell if skoolmunkee reads it out :3

I'm pretty sure she'd love to! She's a great voice actor :D

I can read out those female characters that skool doesn't want to

Thanks Ayes! I'll take you up on that offer!

ozoneocean wrote:
Thanks Ayes! I'll take you up on that offer!

Sure enough. What do I get? Oo oo oo! Lady Prison Guard?

skoolmunchkin? >:[ Maybe I'll just read all my parts in an oompa loompa voice

I wish I sounded like Kathleen Turner :[

skoolmunkee wrote:
skoolmunchkin? >:[ Maybe I'll just read all my parts in an oompa loompa voice

Please do! ^_^
Actually, “Skoolmunchkin” is a quote from the DD Soap, it's what I call you after our tumultuous meeting in a post apocalyptic future in a dingy bar.
Ah, I loved that storyline…

For Grey Guy Hank:
Strip for conversion
That's what we say all the time
Stripped girls don't replace sex.

Bravo's recorded reading for Hank was inspiring! It's inspired me to think about doing a recording for my other big character Ace Kinkaid… Maybe even Cc too!
We don't really have that many contributions here, so why not include other characters? ^_^

Ace Kinkaid says:

Howdy. The name's Ace Kinkaid.
At the moment I'm in a life and death mech fight with this wily Pink haired freak who just won't give up! I'm thinking it's about time for her to die…
Things seemed so straight forward and easy… well maybe not entirely straight forward, but it should have been easy. All I had to do was play along with Pinky till I could double-cross her safely, get the Buddha, then deliver it and the mechs to the British for big bucks!
But things didn't go as planned. My contact in the transport caravan was nowhere to be seen! If he HAD been, I'd have been done right there, but noooo… Then when it looks like things are finally starting to go right and I'm getting away clean, that mad woman escapes and blows the crap outta my tromper!
Well, I'm gonna show her.

Cc says:

I'm Cynthia Crow. Cc is a more efficient name however so I use that instead.
Pinky, Pinky, Pinky… I just don't think she gets it, you know? I don't fight for peace, I fight for the Empire. The Crimean Empire must be victorious, no matter the cost. Pinky is simple, all she cares about is minimising casualties, saving lives, sparing civilians… she can't make the hard choices.
I can and I shall.
You sacrifice pawns for greater advantage later on in the game, that's their purpose.
Pinky makes a good pawn.

Cc and Ace you little scamps!

you know, now that others are throwing their hats in the ring, i wouldnt mind doing some voices either! may i,hhhhmmmmmmm?

Putrid Meat:
“i'm Gretchen, the deposed queen of Septica, but not for long… When Exis came to Septica and stripped my husband, Felix of his power, he stole my son's future. My little Zeusy is such a beautiful,bright boy! who could do such a thing?my husband, Felix, is dead, and that red headed boy, Bones, left to kill Exis. but he's dissapeared and Exis is still very much alive. a GOOD man is so hard to find these days. it's starting to look like i'll need to take things into my OWN hands. dont worry my little Zeusy…MOMMY'll take care of you…”

“hey! gimme that mic,Oz! scoot over. awright, I'm Bones n'that's bullshit! where does she think i am,on vacation? yeah i tried to scrag Exis n hell, i'm about to try again, soon as i can manage t'get on the same side of the PLANET that he's on at least. after th'attack, he ‘shipped m’ass off to some brainwashin lab. he only managed it cuz he sicked a fuckin land walkin Megaladon after me. ‘s hard to kill someone when yer dettached from your legs, but WATCH me, i’ll manage, and it'll be the coolest shit YOU'LL ever see in yer life. off'a my BACK,Gretchen, dontcha got some diapers to change or somethin?”

“I'm Exis and i just have to cut in here for a moment. i'm afraid there's just been a little bit of a MISUNDERSTANDING here. see, Neither Bones OR Gretchen have anything to fear from me. i'm a peaceful, benevolent leader. they're just in…a bit of SHOCK. that's all. some time to adjust and see things MY way will help ease them into a better, much more….TRANQUIL li—what? what do you mean Bones's escaped?! OFF you'r ass, Warhead and BRING me his HEAD!!…..anyways as i was saying, a much more tranquil way of life.”

There I go inspiring people again. Insert battery of cynical remarks here.

..inspire us to show ya how it REALLY should be done. hyuk hyuk hyuk….

Bombshell

Haiku (5-7-5):

Good people suffer
A great evil roams unchecked
In time shell fix that.

Series intro:

I believe heroes are those who do more good than can be expected of them. Like my brother, who tried to ease peoples suffering in areas devastated by wars and unchecked greed. I admired him, because it was something I could never have done. I am Aria Conti, and I work for the United Nations mine action program. My line of work comes with meeting those people who are directly responsible for the evils my brother had faced. Powerful people, who destroy lives for a living. Dealing with them in my position at the UN always involves compromising. So I created a persona that wouldnt have to compromise Bombshell. Whether that makes me more of a hero, or more of a terrorist you decide.
So, how do I go about fixing the world? Well, I do have this prosthetic metal hand that can easily overpower your average thug, but Im not exactly in the business of disarming bankrobbers. And you dont have to be a world-class athlete or martial arts expert to overpower Silvio Berlusconi or Donald Rumsfeld. On the other hand, you cant possibly be well-trained enough to outmatch the means guys like these have at their disposal. Strength doesnt really figure into this. So while I probably could give a room full of Wall Street bozos a run for their money, the plan is to use and subvert whats already there. Well, I cant tell you too much about that yet. Youll see. In the meantime, I might have to do more of this superhero stuff than I signed up for

Notes for skoolmunkee:

Im glad you agreed to do the voice, and Im sure you will do a great job! Im not overly protective of my characters, and I always enjoy different interpretations, so just go with what seems right to you. In case youd like to have some input, here are my thoughts:
She is originally Italian, but in order to protect her identity she has trained herself not to show it. So there might or might not be something of the melodic (or operatic) quality associated with Italian linger in the way she talks in any case, it would be rather subtle and overwritten by her time in New York. More importantly, she has a certain determination and ego that comes with both her job and the fact that she believes her mission to be very important. She is used to talking in front of people, and to be in situations where she has to convince and impress her audience. In this case, since she is talking about something personal, she might be a bit more sympathetic than in any of the speeches she usually gives. The text above goes from beliefs that are intertwined with deeply personal biographic facts, to a sort of calculated strategy, and ends on a lighter note, so the performance might reflect that.

PIT_FACE wrote:
..inspire us to show ya how it REALLY should be done. hyuk hyuk hyuk….

… And then beat me over the head until I get it right. I have a largely empty head, you have to hit it just right to get me to understand things.

bravo1102 wrote:
PIT_FACE wrote:
..inspire us to show ya how it REALLY should be done. hyuk hyuk hyuk….
… And then beat me over the head until I get it right. I have a largely empty head, you have to hit it just right to get me to understand things.

Ah so it's an issue of reverberation then. :P

Tantz Aerine wrote:
bravo1102 wrote:

PIT_FACE wrote:
..inspire us to show ya how it REALLY should be done. hyuk hyuk hyuk….
… And then beat me over the head until I get it right. I have a largely empty head, you have to hit it just right to get me to understand things.

Ah so it's an issue of reverberation then. :P

Yes precisely and my wife is good at getting my head to just the right tone with a look. It's a harmonic thing. Needless to say I never go on the internet when she's around.

Ok, I've changed the title to 94 now. Next week is the Tantz and Pit-face burlesque show. All very tasteful I can assure you! And their costumes are divine… How Pitface walks in 8 inch heels I'll NEVER know, and where on earth did Tantz find all those feathers? Must have gone through a whole herd of ostriches… With that rare machine-gun of her's.

Back to the subject at hand then!
- This won't be recorded till Friday the 7th of September so you have more time to get your text pieces and or voice recordings in!
I'm lookin' at all you guys who've just done Haikus and no character pieces!

Also, if anyone is interested in doing ongoing short pieces for their characters each week or each couple of weeks I'm more than happy to stick those in the Quackcast- It helps promote your comic and get your work out there, which is 100% what the Quackcast is for!
-As well as being cool and entertaining for people to listen to!

ongoing character pieces? you bet yer ass,oz!
as a matter of fact, Herr Achziger was just commenting to me how he thinks Tantz and Pit-Face's quackcast sound like it will be “quite invormative und ein utmost zuccess.”

I'll admit those were a LOT of feathers…



But you should see our double act:



…especially after a couple of beers.


…very many feathers indeed.

man, that big star hat gave me whiplash.

Encore, Encore! More star headress doubleact please :D

you set em up, we'll knock em down.

Abt_Nihil wrote:
Notes for skoolmunkee:

Im glad you agreed to do the voice, and Im sure you will do a great job! Im not overly protective of my characters, and I always enjoy different interpretations, so just go with what seems right to you. In case youd like to have some input, here are my thoughts:
She is originally Italian, but in order to protect her identity she has trained herself not to show it. So there might or might not be something of the melodic (or operatic) quality associated with Italian linger in the way she talks in any case, it would be rather subtle and overwritten by her time in New York. More importantly, she has a certain determination and ego that comes with both her job and the fact that she believes her mission to be very important. She is used to talking in front of people, and to be in situations where she has to convince and impress her audience. In this case, since she is talking about something personal, she might be a bit more sympathetic than in any of the speeches she usually gives. The text above goes from beliefs that are intertwined with deeply personal biographic facts, to a sort of calculated strategy, and ends on a lighter note, so the performance might reflect that.

Use my normal speaking voice, got it. *thumbs up*

ozoneocean wrote:
I'm lookin' at all you guys who've just done Haikus and no character pieces!

Despite being able to write with absolute accuracy what Batman would be like when he is old, for some reason I can't think of how he would describe a comic about that. I think it's because I feel like he probably wouldn't, he'd just be like “it's a comic someone has made, read it, or don't.” Maybe that's my blurb.