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Guest Post by Kroatz - How I'll Spend my Weekend

HippieVan at 12:00AM, April 3, 2015

I’m going to wake up, I’m quite sure of that. I’ve woken up many times before, and I currently have no real interest in changing that habit. So, first I am going to sleep, have some dangerous and weird adventures that I will either forget or repress once I stop dreaming, and then I´m going to wake up. And suddenly it´s the weekend. And then I´m probably going to have some breakfast.

I´ve been told that there will be rain this weekend, turning every single thing outside into a slightly more soggy version of each of those things. I hope they´re right about the rain. They usually are. I´m wondering if it is going to rain because we expect it, or whether we expect rain because it is going to come. Both of those options seem equally unlikely to me. Maybe I´ll read a little after breakfast, I have Terry Pratchett´s Raising Steam by my bedside and I’ll keep reading his work until I reach the end. And then I’ll start over. Or maybe I’ll just read all of Locke and Key instead. That is always fun as well.

I´m going to play some music on my phone this weekend. I´m quite sure of that. I´ve done it many times before, and I currently have no real interest in changing my habits. Maybe I’ll listen to some Pentatonix, or some Mogwai, or maybe I´ll just play the Thomas Was Alone soundtrack on loop for a while. I like looping my songs. They give me a feeling of endlessness. As long as the song keeps playing, there doesn´t need to be an ending. And as long as there is no ending, you don´t need to think about what comes after. The idea of an afterlife terrifies me. They say that your life flashes in front of your eyes before you die. I hope that that includes the flashback, because I´d like to loop this life for a while. Maybe I’ll go for a walk in the rain with my dog.

I’ll regret my decision to go for a walk after mere minutes, I’m quite sure of that. I’ve regretted it many times before, but I currently have no real interest in changing my habits, my routine. So I guess I’ll keep making the same mistakes. Daisy will chase after imaginary threats, or jump into slightly less imaginary pools of mud, and I’ll just have to get annoyed by that in silence. I’ll turn up the volume of Daft Punk’s Veridis Quo, and try to enjoy myself. Trying to enjoy myself is annoying, which means that I need to try harder, and the recurring nature of that action annoys me. After I get home I’ll lock myself in my bedroom, and write something new.

And when I get to my room, after sneaking in a few minutes of Gaiman’s Instructions, I will write:

“Slowly, the man turned around, and saw himself reflected a thousand times. Every reflection a little smaller. Half of the reflections turned away, staring at something far into the infinite distance behind him. A small hint of fear made its way into the man’s mind. What were they looking at, behind his back? He needed to see for himself. Slowly, the man turned around…”

It will be important to me, in some ways I can’t quite figure out. Maybe there’ll be a story in it? The terrifying nature of infinity. I’ll think about it for a second, crumple it up, and write something else. I always end up throwing my writing away. Or maybe this time I’ll keep it, and put it into a folder, and forget about it for years. There’s really no difference between the two options. I´ll look at the row of books on the shelves above my desk, and at the stacks of books on every other horizontal surface of my bedroom, and I´ll feel inadequate. Hundreds of writers, hundreds of books, each containing a combination of words that I’m not good enough to come up with. And the very idea of not being able to express my thoughts as adequately as they do makes me want to not even try. Which ensures that I´ll never succeed. I’ll give myself a few seconds of depression, breathe deeply, and grab another sheet of paper. I’ll write for an hour, about the nature of infinity, and after that I’ll probably focus on some school work.

School work will go slowly, as I will be distracted by something I can’t quite place. As the evening crawls ever closer, I’ll probably share a meal with my family. The Alpha male will cook, as his spawn sets the table. I won’t be asked, but I’ll help her anyway. I probably won’t enjoy the meal, or maybe I will, it makes no difference. Routine. Small variations, but everything important always happens the same way. There will be topics of conversation, each of exactly equal interest to me, and I will finally leave the table, still distracted by… something. There’s always some small sentence, or a single word. And the more I focus on it, the deeper it goes, digging round and round my thoughts. Forever. After dinner, I’ll probably go for another walk, without the dog this time.

There will be stars. I’m quite sure of that. An infinite number of stars, stretching out farther and farther. I shouldn’t look at it. I shouldn’t think about it. The bigger something is, the smaller I am by comparison. I’ll never be able to do… Anything. And I’ll panic about that for a second, and then I’ll breathe in deeply, and then I’ll get distracted by something insignificant again. Maybe there’ll be other people in the park. Maybe there’ll be rain. I’m quite sure there will be. And when I get home again, there’s bound to be something interesting on TV.

A show about zombies, followed by commercials, followed by a show about the wars of the roses. But somehow with dragons. And I’m quite sure that that show started with zombies too. And then there’ll be some more commercials. The shows are designed to keep me interested, and the commercials are designed to pay for more shows. More loops, everywhere. I’ll end the day with a few episodes from some stupid sitcom. Every episode ending with everything exactly the way it started. And then I’ll go to sleep.

My Sunday will most likely be filled with a lot of the same. Obsessing over some detail, some concept. It´s how I spend my life. Maybe Sunday will be filled with religion, or politics, or videogames. Maybe I´ll even crawl out of my head for long enough to think about cooking, or just play a few games, or maybe I´ll finally get to those rewrites I´ve been meaning to get to. So, that´s how I´m going to spend my weekend. What about you? Any big easter plans?

Thanks so much to Kroatz for writing this very self-reflective piece in place of my usual (very unsophisticated in comparison) newspost! Kroatz is also running this year's radio play, so be on the lookout for news regarding that in the upcoming weeks and months!

This newspost is the first in a series of three guest posts that I'll be putting up while I'm busy with the last of my coursework. Be sure to check in next Friday when KimLuster will be our guest contributor!

Have a comic milestone, a community project or some comic-related news that you'd like to see here? Do you have original art for our newspost image database? Send it to me via PQ or at hippievannews(at), or leave a comment below!
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KimLuster at 10:36AM, April 8, 2015

Kroatz and Kawaii's perspective pieces are just beautiful, and have inspired me to do something similar. I'm not as eloquent but if I can be just a fraction of such inspiring stuff...

kawaiidaigakusei at 1:28PM, April 5, 2015

The three posts below are meant to be read in order from top to bottom (not the other way around) or else they will not make any sense!

kawaiidaigakusei at 1:26PM, April 5, 2015

Veridis Quo is one of the instrumental tracks on Discovery that stands apart from the others because of its video game sound. How did I spend my Easter Weekend? I slept in on Saturday after cleaning a good majority of my room Friday night. Most of my belongings were moved around so I had to readjust myself to my living quarters. I checked up some of my game apps--first Tapped Out, followed by Hay Day, and finally Frozen Free Fall. I had good intentions to start a load of laundry, but I counted the number of hand towels I had left in my cubby and decided I could wait another day. By noon I started watching some shows on Netflix. This one was pretty funny and kept me happily entertained until one o'clock when I was anticipating a phone call. The rest of the afternoon melted away slowly. I was wearing contacts so I could not take a nap.

kawaiidaigakusei at 1:25PM, April 5, 2015

I wandered around aimlessly searching for things to do. My grandfather was watching Tarantino's Django Unchained in the loft room, so I decided to watch it with him until the dinner scene. I retreated back to my room to sleep and I tuned into Saturday Night Live where Michael Keaton was a host, but he wore too many wigs in each of his skits to make me believe he was the real Batman. Sunday morning started out atypical. I had to wake up extra early because I knew the church would have less seats available thanks to all the Creasters who only show up two days of the year.

kawaiidaigakusei at 1:25PM, April 5, 2015

My alarm went off, the song was set to The Shins-Australia, and I slowly got out of bed, dressed, and put on a very nice dress that I only wear for special occasions. I sat in the car waiting for the engine to warm up and I turned on the radio and Maroon 5's Sugar was on so I switched it to some Chopin. The morning is always brighter and full of glare. On the road I drove near some cars that tried to race like we were in the chariot scene of Ben-Hur. I drove behind other cars that decided to drive 15 mph slower than the speed limit. Eventually I made it through the service and went back home where I baked 24 mini and 6 large funfetti cupcakes for Easter and enjoyed a nice Easter lunch. The rest of this afternoon will be spent folding laundry and working on an article for Monday's news-post.

tupapayon at 7:54PM, April 4, 2015

I usually don't think about it (ok, I usually don't think at all) but my life is also full of loops, cycles, routine... that's why I use my day off to see something I haven't seen, go to places I haven't been to... but I never plan it, I just go where my pata de perro takes me to... very nice post, Kroatz... I'm gonna read it again, and again, and again...

VinoMas at 10:40AM, April 4, 2015

I'm loving the guest newsposts! It's starting to feel like the View up in here...guest judging or ... audition?!?! Don't mind me, you know VinoMas likes to take anything and turn it into drama! Stay tuned!

KimLuster at 5:58AM, April 4, 2015

Great writing! And I gotta follow this..?!!! Thanks a lot Kroatz!!

HippieVan at 5:44AM, April 3, 2015

As for me, I find I have very little time for reflection these days, which is ideal for me and exactly why I keep so busy. I'll be spending the weekend working on my historiography paper. I'm hoping to finish my section on race today, and then Saturday/Sunday I'll do the section on sexuality. I'm arguing that the trend in my chosen time span (1987-2007) has been to attribute greater agency and profitability to the commodification of self. I'll take a little break on Sunday morning for waffles and an egg hunt.

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