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Funny things.
kyupol at 7:34AM, Jan. 30, 2009
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Here's a prank idea.

Heard of those alcohol-free beers?
http://www.alcoholfree.co.uk/index.php?cPath=2_12

Drink one of those in a car. And when you drive by a cop car, say “HI OFFICER!!! WAZZAP!!!” at the top of your lungs. Then hold out the bottle like you're giving cheers or something.
NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:26PM
Inkmonkey at 7:42AM, Jan. 30, 2009
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kyupol
Here's a prank idea.

Heard of those alcohol-free beers?
http://www.alcoholfree.co.uk/index.php?cPath=2_12

Drink one of those in a car. And when you drive by a cop car, say “HI OFFICER!!! WAZZAP!!!” at the top of your lungs. Then hold out the bottle like you're giving cheers or something.

I dunno; I think you can still get ticketed for deliberately wasting an officer's time. It's kinda like a lesser form of calling in a fake 911 call.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:00PM
ozoneocean at 8:00AM, Jan. 30, 2009
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Aurora Moon
Monster head punch
Hippie Van
Banana face gun
DMH
Bucket head
Those all had me laughing and laughing! :D

Good ones guys ^_^

Makes me remember one…
-When I was little I was a genius at hide and seek. I was really creative. I wouldn't just hide, but I'd hide where you couldn't normally hide, or somewhere silly like just behind a really thin tree when the seeker walked past and then silently move around the tree as they looked… then silently slip somewhere else. So I could never be found.

Anyway, during a birthday party I did that during the hide and seek game.. After hiding around the place for a while I came into the TV room, they were coming so I slipped under and beanbag… They stayed for ages, and then moved into the next room looking really really hard. So I stayed quiet and perfectly still, thinking what a freaking genius I was and how they were all idiots who'd NEVER find me! Anyway, I fell asleep under there.

They gave up looking and decided to watch TV.

Someone sat on me. -_-
the end.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
Inkmonkey at 8:55AM, Jan. 30, 2009
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ozoneocean
-When I was little I was a genius at hide and seek. I was really creative. I wouldn't just hide, but I'd hide where you couldn't normally hide, or somewhere silly like just behind a really thin tree when the seeker walked past and then silently move around the tree as they looked… then silently slip somewhere else. So I could never be found.

I was kind of like the opposite of that. I always thought of really elaborate hiding places that were found out in, like, two seconds. Like covering myself in a blanket and some padding and sitting in a chair so I look like I'm just part of the chair. Of course, I couldn't actually see how I looked from the outside, and it turns out it looked like a lumpy chair with a child-shaped lump in the middle. Or trying to hide under the sink, only there was already a bunch of stuff in there so I would move it all out, so that there was a suspicious pile of stuff right outside of my hiding place.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:00PM
Product Placement at 11:24AM, Jan. 30, 2009
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ozoneocean
Aurora Moon
Monster head punch
Hippie Van
Banana face gun
DMH
Bucket head
Those all had me laughing and laughing! :D

Good ones guys ^_^
I wasn't acknowledged for my text prank :(

Seems we were similarly good in hide and seek Oz. I remember a fair share of moments where people gave up on finding me. There was this one HUGE house on an island where the father side of my family would gather during the summer. The children would entertain themselves hiding there and I frequently became the last to be found (that person got to seek in the next round). I was also a huge cheat because I had a really good ear. The seeker had to wait in a room while others went and hid and while waiting there, I could sense where everybody went. I could easily hear in which rooms of the house everybody went and thus simply visit those rooms and skip the ones I knew were empty. Worked like a charm. ^^
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
DMH at 4:32AM, Jan. 31, 2009
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Product Placement
I was also a huge cheat because I had a really good ear. The seeker had to wait in a room while others went and hid and while waiting there, I could sense where everybody went. I could easily hear in which rooms of the house everybody went and thus simply visit those rooms and skip the ones I knew were empty. Worked like a charm. ^^

Wow, that is a really good ear. I had good ears too, but never so good that I could tell in which room a person was.

In high school, we had these classrooms that was one large classroom, but in the middle had this folding wall that you could pull across to make two rooms. Anyway, when I was 13, one of the kids brought in this hook on a pole. It was strong, but small enough to fit under the temporary wall.

The teacher left to talk with the teacher on the other side and a few of my friends got bored and decided to poke the pole under. They managed to get a rubber (Eraser) that had fallen to the ground onto their side of the wall, and so started going for other things, such as pens and then eventually, backpacks.

Now, the teacher noticed the backpack moving to the back of the classroom, and so opened up the temporary wall to see who was behind it. She didn't say a word, but just watched as the kids kept pulling along the bag to the wall, getting more excited, before letting out a loud cheer when they got it all the way, which was quickly replaced by a groan when they saw the teacher there and realised she had watched the whole thing.

Can't remember what happened to them, but it was funny watching them go from oblivious to mortified.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:12PM
Product Placement at 6:16AM, Jan. 31, 2009
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DMH
good ear
My ears are good but it does have a draw back. There's a certain kind of squeak that doesn't seem to bother anyone that leaves my helplessly wiggling on the floor with a massive migraine. It sucks that many shopping trolleys are capable of producing THAT EXACT SAME PITCH!!! Also, old brakes on bushes make that sound too. While others simply hear squeak, I hear squeICOMEFORYOURSOULHORRIBLENOISETHATSHATTERSMYEXISTENCEek.

I also secretly believe that I might be descendant of mole people because I can see amazingly well in dark but have a hard time keeping my eyes open in the middle of the day.

DMH
folding wall
My high school had a computer class room that was divided that way. Opening up that wall turned it into MONDO computer room. Many computer nerds dreamed of epic LAN sessions in that place.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
tea_green at 3:19PM, Jan. 31, 2009
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So I was working at a supermarket and I had to deal with a real chode of a woman. She made me go back over every single item because she was SURE that I had rung something up wrong. After that, she's looking at her receipt to see if there were some errors there. Finally, she storms off and I start ringing the lady behind her up. When I was sure that she was out of earshot, I said, “God, what a royal bitch!”

The lady looked appalled and after a few moments she said, “That was my daughter.”

Oops.

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:08PM
HippieVan at 7:52PM, Jan. 31, 2009
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Haha! Something like that happened to me once. I think it was in sixth grade, so quite a ways back.

It was the day that we got our report cards…on the bus home I was sitting beside this girl in my class who was clearly upset, and she told me that in a comment on her report card, the teacher accused her of plagiarism on a particular project!
I said "You didn't plagiarize…'s project was the only one that was plagiarized.“
She looked even more upset and told me ”She was my partner for that project!“

Another funny story: during the warmer summer months, my best friend and I like to sit on top of this mailbox, just to observe the neighbourhood and chat and chill and whatnot. We don't disturb anyone, of course, we get off if someone needs to mail a letter.
Anyways, one day we're sitting there and this woman drives by and yells at us ”I hope the police don't catch you there! That's an OFFENSE!“ and drives off.
About ten minutes later, what do we see? That's right, a cop car! It went something like this:
Cops: ”Yo, whatsup!“
Us: ”Heeeeeey, Yo!“

heh. Dumb lady. I'm not sure what she thought the ”offense" was, that we were vandalizing it in some way, maybe?
Duchess of Friday Newsposts and the holy Top Ten
Have a comic milestone, a community project or some comic-related news you’d like to see in
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
skoolmunkee at 3:24AM, Feb. 1, 2009
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Back when I was visiting Boise several months ago, I had rented a car to drive around. My friend lives near an elementary school on a busy road at a busy intersection, and no one ever follows the 20-mph lights when they're flashing.

Because I'm a good citizen I always follow speed limits (also because, speeding tickets suck). So as I'm driving through this school zone at a sedate 17 mph, my friend and I see a semi-hidden motorcycle cop radar-gunning everyone going through the zone. Right as I'm passing him he shouts “Thank you!”


I can't figure out if he was shouting at us and/or if he does that regularly… but it's pretty funny.
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:42PM
lba at 10:31AM, Feb. 1, 2009
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tea_green
So I was working at a supermarket and I had to deal with a real chode of a woman. She made me go back over every single item because she was SURE that I had rung something up wrong. After that, she's looking at her receipt to see if there were some errors there. Finally, she storms off and I start ringing the lady behind her up. When I was sure that she was out of earshot, I said, “God, what a royal bitch!”

The lady looked appalled and after a few moments she said, “That was my daughter.”

Oops.




That reminds me of something I did like that. It was last semester and I was poking around the junior/senior illustration studios to see what they were doing while I was waiting for some paintings to finish drying and I ended up in a conversation with one of the juniors. She seemed to have a real beef with anime and manga and spent most of the conversation going on about how the art style was so immature and flat and just overall sucked. So I decided to go a long with it and picked an image out of the ones on the wall that was seriously lacking in depth, colour, composition and technique and critiqued it, making the comment that I'd expect that level of workmanship from a freshman. She just stared at me blankly and said, “that's mine.”

The only thing I could think to respond with was, “Sorry. But the critique still stands.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
NickGuy at 11:38AM, Feb. 1, 2009
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ozoneocean
Aurora Moon
Monster head punch
Hippie Van
Banana face gun
DMH
Bucket head
Those all had me laughing and laughing! :D

Good ones guys ^_^

Makes me remember one…
-When I was little I was a genius at hide and seek. I was really creative. I wouldn't just hide, but I'd hide where you couldn't normally hide, or somewhere silly like just behind a really thin tree when the seeker walked past and then silently move around the tree as they looked… then silently slip somewhere else. So I could never be found.

Anyway, during a birthday party I did that during the hide and seek game.. After hiding around the place for a while I came into the TV room, they were coming so I slipped under and beanbag… They stayed for ages, and then moved into the next room looking really really hard. So I stayed quiet and perfectly still, thinking what a freaking genius I was and how they were all idiots who'd NEVER find me! Anyway, I fell asleep under there.

They gave up looking and decided to watch TV.

Someone sat on me. -_-
the end.


LOL WINNER!

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“Kung Fu Komix is that rare comic that is made with heart and love of the medium, and it delivers” -Zenstrive
“Kung Fu Komix is…so awesome” -threeeyeswurm
“Kung Fu Komix is..told with all the stupid exuberance of the genre it parodies” -The Real Macabre
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:15PM
skoolmunkee at 11:44AM, Feb. 1, 2009
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I'm sure I've had those foot-in-mouth moments where I've accidentally insulted someone… but I make such an effort to forget them I can't remember any of them now lol!
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:42PM
JoeL_CQB at 12:05PM, Feb. 1, 2009
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ozoneocean
-When I was little I was a genius at hide and seek. I was really creative. I wouldn't just hide, but I'd hide where you couldn't normally hide, or somewhere silly like just behind a really thin tree when the seeker walked past and then silently move around the tree as they looked… then silently slip somewhere else. So I could never be found.

Anyway, during a birthday party I did that during the hide and seek game.. After hiding around the place for a while I came into the TV room, they were coming so I slipped under and beanbag… They stayed for ages, and then moved into the next room looking really really hard. So I stayed quiet and perfectly still, thinking what a freaking genius I was and how they were all idiots who'd NEVER find me! Anyway, I fell asleep under there.

They gave up looking and decided to watch TV.

Someone sat on me. -_-
the end.

hahahaha!, that reminds me that i'm a genius at hiding in plain sight.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:10PM
skoolmunkee at 2:06PM, Feb. 1, 2009
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Are you hiding….. behind the camera? lol!
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:42PM
SeriousQuiche at 3:45PM, Feb. 1, 2009
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This actually happened last week to a couple of friends of Mine. One of the Night Graphic Design classes had gone on break, and my friends Mike and Kim were roughhousing in the hall, in rolling chairs, in front of the glass display cases for student work. So Mike being the big man that he is, gets shoved through one of the cases by Kate.(Mike was fine, the display case and chair, less so).

Next day at class, we are talking about it and the teacher looks up and says, “So you got beaten up by a girl?”

Not as funny as the rest of these, but it doesn't take much to make me laugh… especially when it comes to MIke.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:28PM
JoeL_CQB at 4:27PM, Feb. 1, 2009
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skoolmunkee
Are you hiding….. behind the camera? lol!

i'm actually the lump between the dresser and the bed on the right. :D
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:10PM
Product Placement at 4:47PM, Feb. 1, 2009
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JoeL_CQB
I'm the lump
huh!? Truly you posses the ninja gene.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
lba at 7:24PM, Feb. 1, 2009
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JoeL_CQB
skoolmunkee
Are you hiding….. behind the camera? lol!

i'm actually the lump between the dresser and the bed on the right. :D

I couldn't decide if that fleshy coloured bit was a hand or some weirdly coloured piece of cloth or whatever.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
ozoneocean at 8:14PM, Feb. 1, 2009
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skoolmunkee
Back when I was visiting Boise several months ago, I had rented a car to drive around. My friend lives near an elementary school on a busy road at a busy intersection, and no one ever follows the 20-mph lights when they're flashing.

Because I'm a good citizen I always follow speed limits (also because, speeding tickets suck). So as I'm driving through this school zone at a sedate 17 mph, my friend and I see a semi-hidden motorcycle cop radar-gunning everyone going through the zone. Right as I'm passing him he shouts “Thank you!”
lol! Weird… You were lucky. The guy was probably so pissed off that NO ONE was following the limit that he couldn't help himself when someone actually did! lol!
JoeL_CQB
skoolmunkee
Are you hiding….. behind the camera? lol!
i'm actually the lump between the dresser and the bed on the right. :D
I didn't guess. That's a smooth one :)
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
lemon_king at 6:54PM, Feb. 3, 2009
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It had been rainy for like the past 2 weeks, so when I walked into the high scohol i wiped my feet, like I normally would. Once I got to my locker I talked to my friend, who followed me to my locker. He left, and I just remembered something I had to tell him. He had just turned the corner, so I started to run and fell right at the corner. I mean, like a hilarious banana peel fall. Anyways, my friend laughed and everyone stared at me. And then my friend helped me up and tried to push me back over. I kicked him in the crotch.

Oh, and I forged a lovenote from my friend to my other friend. So she was writing a response, and gave it to my 3rd friend to give to my friend. He started reading it out loud, because he is the essence of fail, and the teacher took it and read it in front of the whole class.
If it's not sane to spell words with your Cheerios, I don't want to be sane.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:34PM
ozoneocean at 8:29PM, Feb. 3, 2009
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lemon_king
It had been rainy for like the past 2 weeks
That reminds me of two things:

1. When I was on a sail training ship for a couple of weeks… One night I was on kitchen duty, taking stuff too and from people's tables during dinner. This was a sailing ship so it didn't go straight through the sea nice and even like modern one- instead we were on a list of about 20 degrees or something to one side, and that would increase and decrease as we bounced over the sea swell. So the ship rocked around a lot.
Well, my sailing shoes had smooth flat soles, and the green vinyl flooring was damp… So as I walked too and from the galley I slipped and slid and skated all over the place like I was on ice or something, balancing all the stuff in my hands at the same time. It was HARD and fricken dangerous…

But the ship's master, first mate, bosun's mate and all the rest the watches that were eating at the time were sitting around laughing uproariously at me. It was fun at first… but pretty embarrassing too.

2. At school early in the morning one day, we'd all come in to sit at our desks to start the first lesson when I realised something smelt REALLY bad… I checked my shoes and saw I'd stepped in dogshit. Not only that, but there was a trail of shitty footprints leading right to me! The other kids were milling around ready to sit down and they were just starting to notice the smell…
So thinking quickly, I walked over to someone else's desk and wiped my shoes off under his chair, then I went off to sit behind my own desk. :)

…When we were all sat down EVERYBODY could smell it and see the shitty trail leading to the poor kid's desk. The teacher was horrified because it was a new carpet! The poor guy got into a bit of trouble and I was just sitting there, quiet as a mouse, trying not to giggle and thankful I'd dodged the dogpoo bullet. Pheeeewwww…
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
Lonnehart at 3:13PM, Feb. 5, 2009
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I still remember way back… there was a sign on the front windows of various stores that read…

“To get a refund on defective items, you must return the item UNOPENED within seven days of purchase”…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:38PM
kyupol at 7:15PM, Feb. 5, 2009
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I remember the time when the teacher caught a guy in class who was masturbating.

He was caught red-handed. Errr… I mean white handed. lol!

NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:26PM
kyupol at 9:00PM, Feb. 8, 2009
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Translation

Left side: Don't piss on this side of the wall.
Right side: You can piss on this side of the wall
NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:26PM
kyupol at 12:23PM, Feb. 11, 2009
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lmao. look at this funny craigslist ad.

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/m4w/1030668994.html

Here's my list. You better meet EVERY SINGLE DEMAND because I am too close minded to open myself up to new possibilities. I mean, if I can build a robot that fits all these requirements, I'd pretty much shun the whole of humanity, but since technology hasn't advance quite far enough to make realistic squishy boobies, I guess I'm stuck with this.

1) You have to be hot. I mean super hot. I can't emphasize this enough. I'm not dating no oggoes or fatties. Think Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson kind of hot.
2) You have to always look your best. And it should take you 5 minutes to get ready, no more. You are allowed to use less time if you wish.
3) You have to be white. I only date whities. Everyone else is ickie, and I say that considering I'm one of em dirty Middle Eastern terrorists.
4) You have to do the dishes, clean, do my laundry, cook and clean up my cat's litter box all while wearing sexy lingerie.
5) You need to be rich. I ain't paying for shit. Heck, YOU should buy me shit.
6) You need to be a geek. By that, I mean smart, know yourself around the internet, won't look at me funny when I mention Caturday, and can hold your own in Halo or Super Smash Bros.
7) You have to be shorter than me. Because anyone dating outside the social norm of the girl being shorter than the guy makes Baby Jesus cry.
9) You need a car. Because I'm too damn lazy to walk everywhere, and I sure as hell ain't taking the TTC to visit your worthless ass like all the common folk.
10) You need to have the ability to count, because clearly I can't.
11) You need to be great in the sack, that one should be self-evident.
12) Preferably, you have a hot friend that may wish to join us every once in a while.
13) You shouldn't be an uptight bitch who only sees Indie films. You should be able to enjoy anything from Die Hard to Wedding Crasher's to Pan's Labyrinth.
14) Ditto for music. Though if you listen to Britney Spears for any other purpose than drooling over her music videos back when she wasn't an androgynous mess, I will mock you.
15) You need to be funny without relying on your looks. You need to be able to hold an intelligent conversation without saying “like” every other word.
16) You need to be able to shutup when told.
17) While I may feel like cuddling from time to time after sex, you will shut your trap and cuddle with my cat/pillow if I wanna get up and get back to playing videogames.
18) If you want to talk about your feelings and emotions, you should have a gay friend handy.
19) You have the ability to detect extreme amounts of sarcasm.
20) I can't think of a 20, but I felt like I should have a nice, even number. Yep, even with the missing 8.

You remember that scene from Anchorman, where Ron Burgundy comes home to his wife cooking in the nude, refusing eye contact with his kids, making whoopie and then going out drinking with the boys? Use that as a start, and build up from there. If you ever have any questions, remember, it's all about ME, not you.



NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:26PM
Custard Trout at 1:06PM, Feb. 11, 2009
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A few years ago, back in College (I think that's about high school level for Americans, but I'm not sure), I was behind on some photography crap and it was due in the next day. So, being the genius that I was (and still am), I decided stay over night to get it done.

Let me explain how this is set up: to use the dark room, we had to go and get the key from the front desk, and it had to be returned by nine. The security guys would also check the rooms at that time to make sure nobody was still in there.

So when my time was almost up, I flicked off the lights, hid under a table, and hoped they wouldn't check there. They just turned the light on, looked around, and left. So I got up and started working.

When the morning came, I went to unlock the door, only to find that I was without a key. I must have left it on the table or something, and they'd taken it with them when they left.

The police found me in there about two and a half days later. It's a small class and the room is very out of the way, which is why it took so long.

kyupol
List of idiocy.

Normally, I'd be willing to bet that it's a troll. But this is craigslist we're talking about.
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:01PM
HippieVan at 1:15PM, Feb. 11, 2009
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Custard Trout: That's pretty ridiculous. I don't think I would have had the nerve to do that…so did you not have any food or water for that whole time?
Duchess of Friday Newsposts and the holy Top Ten
Have a comic milestone, a community project or some comic-related news you’d like to see in
a newspost? Send it to me via PQ or at hippievannews(at)gmail.com!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
Custard Trout at 1:33PM, Feb. 11, 2009
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I had some sandwiches, that was it.
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:01PM
Lonnehart at 4:04PM, Feb. 11, 2009
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Custard Trout
The police found me in there about two and a half days later. It's a small class and the room is very out of the way, which is why it took so long.


I bet you had to clean the mess in there… unless that room had built in facilities…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:38PM

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