General Discussion

Long-Distance relationships (Online Dating)
Glarg at 11:11AM, June 23, 2007
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We heard of those websites, E-harmoney, match.com, ect. But the question is, Is Online dating a good thing? Whats your opinion on it? Do they never workout? Is it just a fad? Do only NERDS do it because they cant get a girlfriend in reallife so they have to result to cyberspace? Is it a bit romantic that two lovers who never met eachoher in real life meet on the internet? Currently my little cousin has alittle giiiirl friend on the computer in TN or something. Currently working out well for him I guess.

So, Long distance relationships, what are your views on them?
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:37PM
Vindibudd at 11:41AM, June 23, 2007
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Ooooh, I have experience.

First girl: Met on dreammates.com Result: Complete psychopath.

Second girl: Met on match.com Result: Long distance relationship that ended with her cheating on me.

Third girl: Met in real life. Result: Marrying her next year.


I tried eharmony.com and I don't think it is what is advertised. I met a girl and we had a date but she would not talk at all. And she was not very attractive either. Besides it is extremely expensive. Something like $50 when I tried it.

When you are not looking, that is when you are going to find the person. That is my experience. Do not do permanent long distance either. Bad bad bad. If you are long distance, make sure that you are going to be together permanently by a specific time.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:42PM
Eviltwinpixie at 11:52AM, June 23, 2007
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I don't like online dating sites, for the same reason as newspaper lonely hearts columns and speed dating. Everyone is desperately searching for someone. Everyone's going to be on their best behaviour- a lot of them probably putting up a false front. It's a little rushed, a little false. It probably works for a lot of people, but not for me.

On the other hand, there are places online where you can get to know people in a different way. I have a forum I visit ALL the time, and have for over 4 years now. We're a very close community. I think my husband and I were the… 4th couple who met on there to get married, and there are probably 10 other couples besides. The first ones to get married now have a baby. It's a very high success rate, really. :)

Long distance relationships can be HARD WORK- I know that very well, having a relationship with someone who was the other side of an ocean. I was 17 when I got into it (I'm 21 now), and I had to be VERY mature for my age and I had to grow up even faster, because it does take a lot of maturity on both sides to make things work. I found it ultimately more rewarding than a relationship with someone down the street, though.
It was a relationship I had to fight for. Really fight, through over a year and a half of immigration BS (Just got my green card! :D), and almost a year of theat just for permission to get married.
But in the end I had something I knew was WORTH fighting for, and I think I'm a better person for it. It's been an adventure.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:24PM
usedbooks at 12:50PM, June 23, 2007
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My sister met her last two boyfriends through WoW. The last one visited her from Alaska one weekend. The one she has now visited from Connecticut and then moved in. Then my sister rode with him to visit his parents for a week or so. Now, they are both living in my parents' house. So, that relationship is working out for the moment. – Not really “long-distance” for very long, though.

Several of my dad's cousins met their now husbands over the internet. They aren't nerds *coughmysisteriscough* They didn't meet through dating services but rather through different communities they were part of. Most of their beaus lived locally but they never had the occasion to meet IRL before.

My neighbor has had no luck with online dating services. He's been hoping to find that someone for several years but has had only bad dates. He's in his 50's, and it seems all the women his age have way too much emotional baggage. Those online things have sucked for him.


The internet is good place to meet people, but I think more people have better luck in their various online games and communities than at those dating sites. Shared interests spark up natural friendships, and you can meet a lot more people who have those things in common online. Dating services (in RL and online) might “try too hard.” Meet people through your own hobbies/interests/career (each set of my roommates' parents met as coworkers – so did mine) not through matchmakers.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:36PM
wyldflowa at 1:28PM, June 23, 2007
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I had a long distance relationship for a year… it took a lot of hard work on both sides. I didn't have an internet connection at my home so I was constantly running around to be able to talk to him… he'd have to phone me and it'd cost a lot for him. It eventually broke up when I went to stay with him for a month cos, well, I found out things about him that made me realise that we really weren't made for each other. Things that if we lived closer together and saw each other more often would have came to light much earlier and the relationship would not have dragged out so long. :( Plus he was a bit of an ass sometimes. I seemed to forgive him a lot because we'd “put so much effort into this” but really, if someone living close to me had treated me like that he would have been dumped loooong ago.

I'll still keep an open mind about meeting people online but I don't think I'll do it again unless I absolutely adore the person, we have a number of common interests and they live in the same country~ transatlantic romance just ain't worth it.

usedbooks
The internet is good place to meet people, but I think more people have better luck in their various online games and communities than at those dating sites. Shared interests spark up natural friendships, and you can meet a lot more people who have those things in common online. Dating services (in RL and online) might “try too hard.” Meet people through your own hobbies/interests/career (each set of my roommates' parents met as coworkers – so did mine) not through matchmakers.
I agree with this! :D Probably the best way to meet like-minded people is to put yourself in a community of like-minded people and see who comes your way.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:52PM
skoolmunkee at 2:24PM, June 23, 2007
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Ohhhh I was going to write a nice long answer for this, but in my experience, they may work wonderfully online (the fact that you have a huge amount of control and a limited amount of contact helps), they fall disastrously apart in person. Oh you might have a couple months there where things work all great in person, but once someone starts lying about everything they think they can get away with, or the other person starts being too needy and annoying, you just want to throw rocks through windows and maybe I should stop here.
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:40PM
Aurora Moon at 3:55PM, June 23, 2007
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Yeah. in my expernice, it can be both great and wonderful. But not from dating sites like others said.

one thing to keep in mind that half of the online relationships that failed was by people who RUSHED Things. Like you'd have a single mother with three children who packed up to move in with an guy that she only knew for TWO or THREE MONTHS online!! Surpise, surpise–He turns out to be an abusive jerk or worse, an pedophile that might or may not have hurt the children or her. In such an situation, I can't help but feel that it was the damn mother's fault for not using common sense and double checking the information he gave her, as well as taking a little bit LONGER to take to really know somebody online. Two or three months is not a long time….2 years or even one year is better, because the longer you wait and get to know him online the more things you are likely to find out about him that you might not had liked after all, saving you the chance that you might had gotten hurt in person. Webcamming and video chats also help in this regards.

I've been “online-dating” this guy for 3 years now…we've done the webcam bit, and we met in an online game. He sometimes gets on my nerves, but otherwise he's told me a lot of personal things that seems to check out okay… so far he's been very truthful. (and I know this for an fact snice I've checked it out and done a little bit of background checks online. Yes, you can do that. Amazing what the internet can do, eh?)
We're talking about meeting in person, but the thing is that both of us are basically poor college students.. me living in ND, and he lives on the east coast. that's a lot of gas money for the car. or a costly plane ticket.
That's the only thing that's stopped us so far, but for now we're just enjoying the relationship as it is.
I'm on hitatus while I redo one of my webcomics. Be sure to check it out when I'n done! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
StaceyMontgomery at 4:18PM, June 23, 2007
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I've met a lot of great friends on-line, and even gotten a few dates. Generally, I prefer it as a way of meeting friends. In fact, some of the people I met and then dated on-line have turned out to be much better friends than dates… hmm, maybe that just means I'm a better friend than I am a date? Oh well.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:55PM
D0m at 5:41PM, June 23, 2007
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I'm in a long-distance relationship, but I didn't meet her from a conventional E-Harmony type thing. The distance kinda drives me nuts, but I think we'll do fine in real life, and if not, we can still be friends.

We'll see.

Nadya- a tale about what happens to SOME of us when we die.

Currently: Nadya is awake and asking more relevant questions.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:02PM
ceb_dyson at 6:35PM, June 23, 2007
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Bwahahahahahahahahah!

Sorry, had to. Anywho, I suck at both RL and online dating. So I've just given the whole game up for the sake of just living. Even so, I'm still keeping my eyes out just in case….don't like being taken by surprise on that part of me life.
I've too many mottos ta say here, so be glad I'm not saying any of them.

Tale of Two Kitties is Soon to Come…weheheheh!
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:39AM
kaminari at 7:01PM, June 23, 2007
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I met a guy in a chat room back in ‘98 that I fell head over heels for who lived 700 miles away. We didnt start talking on the phone until ’03 and met in ‘04.. And well, now I live about 40 miles from him and we see each other on weekends mostly. Im fine if I get to at least once a week.. when I cant then I start to feel a bit lonely, but we talk on the phone every night like before I moved near him, so Im pretty happy with just that.

(Its a really long sob story I wont go into between all that)


Oooohh, and he just left here about 5 minutes ago T-T
I wish he could’ve stayed longer!!

I am FS2 champion! w00t!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:13PM
marine at 9:55PM, June 23, 2007
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If you're lonely, use myspace to find girls who have daddy issues and have both smoke/drink labeled “yes” or have pictures of themselves drinking with captions like “me havin fun lol” Trust me, if you ask “hey you wanna hang out with me some time?” Then casually say “hey you ain't got a boyfriend, why don't we go out” on said “hanging out sometime” (which you don't refer to as a date, although it clearly should be to you, just not to her)

For those of you girls that want an easy date, look on myspace for a guy who talks about video games. Specifically rpgs, or “jrpgs” if he has or mentions anime anywhere on the page, he's a fucking loser and will worship everything you say as law if you blow him once.

Sorry if this is rude or mean, but its the truth. Myspace is easy to use for all sorts of things, you could also do this with livejournal, youtube, friendster, or anywhere.

I'm the fucking date master. If you want a date and a decent relationship, I could get you that easy. Maintaining its up to you, I don't want to tell people specifically what to say like they do on TV shows and movies thats retarded. The best advice I can give is to wing it.

Also mention you've read the popular webcomic penis.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:52PM
Mazoo at 10:04PM, June 23, 2007
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I've always been very wary of relationships that were created online. Especially by dating sites and whatnot, I've just had a very strange feeling about them. I think it's mainly because most couples jump right into the relationship and get in too deep before they are ready or are just being careless. So I admit that I've always thought down of people who say they have met their loved one on the internet. I know, I know, it's an awful thing to judge, because I have no reason to, nor the place to.

But I've begin to come to terms with that since I'm currently in a long-distance relationship, so I don't really think down on online relationships anymore. The relationship is doing very, very well, too. And I think that's for more than a few reasons:

We took it very, very, very slow. I met my current boyfriend, coincidentally (or ironically, if it suits you) right here on DD. However, when we first met, we weren't even looking for anyone. At least I wasn't, since I came to DD for the comics and art and the community, not for potential dates. We had been friends on here and through other art sites for a few years, and I think in those years we weren't even attracted to one another, in the “potential date” sense. We were friends, and that was it. The long-distance also helps, in a way, because things won't get too physical too early and ruin the relationship, which can happen in a “real life” relationship. Because you can't express affection physically, you have to do in other manners.

The first time we met was NOT a date. We were still only friends, and meeting only as two artists, in a public area, with other people we knew. And I think this is a biggie. Because of the fact that we met each other face-to-face first, BEFORE we started dating, and only as friends, was not only a way to scope out one another, but also deeped our friendship with one another. And it was another couple of months after we met with one another that we officially began “dating.”

We trust one another. Not only does this apply to real life relationships, but I think it's an even bigger factor in an online relationship. I trust him to be honest, and he trusts me to be honest. I think since we've known each other for years, and didn't first meet as potential dates helps in this aspect, since I would get a feel for what he tends to say over time, and he would've had no reason to “con” me for years if he wasn't interested right away. However, he is going to college this fall, and I'm trusting that he won't “meet” anyone there, or if he does, that he'll at least be honest enough to tell me about it.

Woo. That was long-winded.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:56PM
Aurora Moon at 10:19PM, June 23, 2007
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That is exactly how I feel too, Mazoo. =)

Jumping into an relationship after only knowing person for One or two months online=Idiotic.

Knowing that you have all the time in the world, taking it easy and taking it slow..starting off as friends online and meeting in person as friends only before an relationship=Smart.
I'm on hitatus while I redo one of my webcomics. Be sure to check it out when I'n done! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
marine at 11:47PM, June 23, 2007
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StaceyMontgomery
maybe that just means I'm a better friend than I am a date? Oh well.

Thats a terrible attitude to think. Often on sites I overextend myself to the point of being a legendary, almost mythical person. If you're constantly beating yourself down, how do you ever expect to get up?

Aurora seems to have hit it on the head. I wouldn't just jump into any relationship, you've gotta go with the flow and read a situation. If you fail at reading situations, ask others for advice. It can help you or occasionally hurt you beyond all repair. But the nice thing is, theys like 7 billion people on earth, surely you can find someone to fuck.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:52PM
reboundcomic at 12:18AM, June 24, 2007
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I have no experience with online dating, too old actually.

I did do the long distance thing once. In general it does not work. There are exceptions to every rule, but in general it fails far, far more often that it succeeds.

My buddy is the master at on-line dating (actually it is more like on-line hook-ups). If his experiences are anything like the general population, then I would say about 95% of women on dating sites are crazy. Then again, he mostly trolled the adult “dating” sites, and my guess is that more sketchy women are on-line looking for sex. I would assume more tame dating sites attract a more level headed clientele.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:02PM
subcultured at 12:45AM, June 24, 2007
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heh

i heard a few other people who talked about hooking up on DD.
maybe they're drawn to people's art
lol

fem “ooooo he's a good drawer, maybe he's a good lover”
male “i like how she colors, maybe she would want to go to dinner with meh”
:)
J
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:02PM
ozoneocean at 6:19AM, June 24, 2007
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Relationships are depressing…

And too much work.

Poo… I need someone to love :( But I'm too LAZY
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:27PM
Glarg at 6:50AM, June 24, 2007
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well when I was 16 I had this friend in Hawaii that I met in an AOL chatroom. We liked to Rp alot. In time our characters began to draw closer to each other, as did we. Three years later we hooked up. Last year we broke up…*snivel* Actually she dumped me. Few people here might remember her as the girl who ALMOST had cancer, The X-Ray scare? I was dumped so painfully *snivels and gulps down some whiskey.* She said she didn't feel the connection anymore(If anyone makes a computer joke there I SWEAR I WILL F**KING KILL YOU!). I still felt it though, i just recently found this out but it turned out for a whole year she was cheating on me with another guy…A real life guy -_-

Well now I'll never see her again, but I haven't given up completely, I am still using Random dating sites…the search for love continues!

Also what do you people like in a man/woman. Personality? Looks (you shallow bastards)? IQ? Talent?
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:37PM
wyldflowa at 7:52AM, June 24, 2007
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Marine gives the best advice. :)

Glarg
well when I was 16 I had this friend in Hawaii that I met in an AOL chatroom. We liked to Rp alot. In time our characters began to draw closer to each other, as did we. Three years later we hooked up. Last year we broke up…*snivel* Actually she dumped me. Few people here might remember her as the girl who ALMOST had cancer, The X-Ray scare? I was dumped so painfully *snivels and gulps down some whiskey.* She said she didn't feel the connection anymore(If anyone makes a computer joke there I SWEAR I WILL F**KING KILL YOU!). I still felt it though, i just recently found this out but it turned out for a whole year she was cheating on me with another guy…A real life guy -_-

Well now I'll never see her again, but I haven't given up completely, I am still using Random dating sites…the search for love continues!

Also what do you people like in a man/woman. Personality? Looks (you shallow bastards)? IQ? Talent?
My situation was kinda similar - he didn't physically cheat on me as far as I know but when I went over there it unearthed that he'd been explicitly chatting to some other girl for like, four years (I'd known him for about three years before we met). And he was actually talking dirty to her and saying how he wanted to meet her while I was actually there! I mean, shit. If I can't even trust him when I'm in the same damn room as him what would he be up to as soon as I was away? He met me through the internet, what was stopping him meeting this other girl? Was I just a consolation prize? And above all else I could honestly do better if I had more chances to meet men. I feel like a tit for wasting so much time and effort on him. e_e; Online relationships mean the issue of trust is paramount to all others yet he didn't seem to abide by that. It really hurt.


What do I like in a maaan? Hmm. Honestly? Good personal hygene is top of my list. XD It's one thing I just can't overlook. There's nothing nicer than a hot, clean man just out of the shower. *heart* And good teeth. They can be crooked or whatever but they MUST be clean. I'm not kissing mister stinky mouth. XD I think I'd be drawn to fellow creatives - maybe not an artist because I'd feel uncomfortable if I was better/worse than him - but perhaps a writer or a musician… *.* And he must like animals. Being 6'6" and with fluffy long bishonen hair and a six pack would also be good bonuses…

Hahaha… is there anyone out there like that? Helloooo…? XD
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:52PM
usedbooks at 8:03AM, June 24, 2007
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Glarg
Also what do you people like in a man/woman. Personality? Looks (you shallow bastards)? IQ? Talent?
I'm not one to talk having never had a date/boyfried/whatever in my life, but I have had a half dozen crushes or so. What attracted me to all of them was that they were easy to talk to and very passionate about their lives and interests. (And we shared interests… nearly all were Biology graduate students. One exception was a literature student who owned pet rats – two other shared interests.) They had nice smiles and treated people with respect. They were all pretty laid back too and had a light-hearted approach to life. So, I guess that means personality is the main attracting feature for me, but shared interests are important, and that takes a little IQ/talent.

BTW, I came to find out most of my crushes were either married or nearly married, so I guess either they attracted someone else just as much or their spouses cleaned them up and made them desirable. lol

(Oh, and as for looks, muscular guys are a turn-off for me. I like ‘em a little lanky or a little squishy. I like glasses too. I think I’m a geek chaser…)
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:36PM
Glarg at 8:09AM, June 24, 2007
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wyldflowa
Hahaha… is there anyone out there like that? Helloooo…? XD
Im clean, I play the keyboard, and im 6'3.



I guess I should answer my own question..

What do I like in a girl? Well a pretty high IQ is somewhat of a turn on for me. Body shape..I like the ladys to be alittle muscular (does that make me weird?), Glasses are a bit of a turn on for me as stated in the Top Drawer Harem thread, Personality…They can't be the annoying type that just repeat every last word you say and take up the whole conversation, I'd like a chance to talk too >
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:37PM
marine at 12:14PM, June 24, 2007
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usedbooks
Glarg
Also what do you people like in a man/woman. Personality? Looks (you shallow bastards)? IQ? Talent?

I like money. I don't have a regular 9-5 day job, so often I'm broke and need money. This is why I work out , am as charmingly funny as I am, and eat pussy. I've been the “other guy” that married chicks or girls in long term relationships go out with. I don't know how I'm that guy, but I am that guy. Doesn't matter to me either, I'm going to hell, I might as well commit all the major sins I can, as often as I can.

Looks aren't so important to me either, I can get along with most anyone. The only people that I tend to not like are the ones who think they're “intellectuals” and much better than everyone else. The only time I've ever been proud of sexual questing is when I have sex with them or somehow convince them to perform sexual acts. The biggest chick I dated was easily over 200 lbs, and the skinniest was almost scarily thin. So it don't matter to me. Even psychotically violent girls have something interesting to them. Short haired dykey girls, big red heads who wear insane clown posse shirts or fishnets, girls who like marvel comics more than me (like knowing who Thanos or being able to diferentiate kree/skrulls, I once dated a chick who loved the ultimate marvel stuff. She didn't like what I had to say about DC, and I'm almost certain that was the deal breaker.) By far out of all the chicks I've dated, my favorites are the ones who're as cynical and evil as I am. I had one that was even more bitter than me, but she's in hell now with all the other people I think I loved.

I don't really think I'm capable of love. It just don't happen. I'm lonely sure, but becuase I have the soul eater rune, all the people I love die. Often in not funny ways either. I'm fairly hard to love as well. Stubborn doesn't even begin to describe my eccentricities, I'm quite possibly one of THE most eccentric people I've encountered. I just do things differently than people do and I see the world from such an odd point of view. Its hard for me to articulate my thoughts when I have so many and they're all so all over the place.

Seriously, if you guys want me to play Hitch, I've got the time. Its not so hard finding someone, the problem is when they kill themselves. Theres absolutely NO way to get them back then. Its even harder when you're an insulting offensive comedian and everything has to be a joke. Even a stain on your heart as big as the one I've got. I can get you in, but its up to you to stay in.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:52PM
skoolmunkee at 12:39PM, June 24, 2007
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Just as a reminder, since this is in General, let's try to keep the tone and language clean and relatively non-specific when it comes to sex stuff. :)
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:40PM
Glarg at 4:24AM, June 25, 2007
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marine
Glarg
Also what do you people like in a man/woman. Personality? Looks (you shallow bastards)? IQ? Talent?

Seriously, if you guys want me to play Hitch, I've got the time. Its not so hard finding someone, the problem is when they kill themselves. Theres absolutely NO way to get them back then. Its even harder when you're an insulting offensive comedian and everything has to be a joke. Even a stain on your heart as big as the one I've got. I can get you in, but its up to you to stay in.

You think you're up to playing “Hitch” for me >_>?
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:37PM
marine at 4:39AM, June 25, 2007
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skoolmunkee
Just as a reminder, since this is in General, let's try to keep the tone and language clean and relatively non-specific when it comes to sex stuff. :)

So no mentioining cleavland steamers or how much of a cunning linguist that I am? No bunghole tounging or other such whatevers!?

Glarg
marine
Glarg
Also what do you people like in a man/woman. Personality? Looks (you shallow bastards)? IQ? Talent?

Seriously, if you guys want me to play Hitch, I've got the time. Its not so hard finding someone, the problem is when they kill themselves. Theres absolutely NO way to get them back then. Its even harder when you're an insulting offensive comedian and everything has to be a joke. Even a stain on your heart as big as the one I've got. I can get you in, but its up to you to stay in.

You think you're up to playing “Hitch” for me >_>?

Yeah. Sure.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:52PM
Glarg at 4:52AM, June 25, 2007
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marine
Yeah. Sure.
Alright then, lets do this thing.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:37PM
StaceyMontgomery at 7:29AM, June 25, 2007
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Marine -

Thanks for getting my back, but I'm happy with saying that Im a better friend than I am a date. I make a really good friend.

And dating is just dull and tedious. Ive never been good at it or cared much for it. I dont entertain well, Im easily bored, and I hate clumsy attempts at “seduction.” Also, I tend to drone on and on, always a bad habit on a date.

All of this doesnt mean I have some lack of self confidence. Let's face it, I'm smarter than most people, I draw the best webcomic ever, and I rule in the sack.

So having aced you in so many categories - and accepting what you said about your own prowess without question - Im happy to grant you the title of “best date.”



last edited on July 14, 2011 3:55PM
ozoneocean at 7:46AM, June 25, 2007
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StaceyMontgomery
Let's face it, I'm smarter than most people, I draw the best webcomic ever, and I rule in the sack.
Oh my god… o_O
We're twins!

Did you just own Marine? That doesn't happen a lot. I get owned more than people think, but not him.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:27PM
Glarg at 8:12AM, June 25, 2007
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StaceyMontgomery
Let's face it, I'm smarter than most people, I draw the best webcomic ever, and I rule in the sack.

…um wow. Not somthing I was expecting to hear but somthing good none the less.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:37PM

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