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joined: 7-10-2008
Final Narration
Gullas and Anthony made their way to the throne room, wary of the still active traps that the Trap Master had laid out before his run in with BffSatan. Gullas, the Fearless Leader, burst through the doors.
“YOU REIGN OF TYRANNY IS AT AN END!” cried the vertically challenged adventurer.
“Ho hum,” sighed the reclining Dark Lord, “two adventurers, here to kill me, my servants, and steal my gold I suspect.”
The Dark Lord turned his head and saw the Wizard, Anthony, preparing a spell.
“You're working to hard,” said Salsa, “it's much easier if you do it like this.” His finger pointed at the frantically muttering wizard. The twang of a bowstring and the whistle of an arrow announced the presence of another in the room.
The arrow in the Wizard's throat announced his doom.
Anthony Mercer is choking on his own blood
Gullas let his Viking heritage take over. He charged the evil being, axe in hand. His path, however, was soon blocked by a shattering, flaming bottle of Orc whiskey.
“Awwww, don't tell me the wee wittle wikin' is afraid of a little alcohol,” cooed Jninja as he swaggered out of the darkness.
Gullas let out a yell to cause dragons to flee in terror. He swung his axe, again, and again, and again, missing each time. Jninja laughed at the Fearless Leader.
“You know there is now way to beat me,” Jninja said.
“Are you scared? Afraid a ‘wee wittle wikin’' is going to kill you? Are you even a man?” Gullas snarled.
Jninja stopped moving at the last.
“Niccea,” he said to the archer that had killed Anthony, “my guitar.”
Gullas knew what was to come, a battle worthy of Epics, a battle worthy of song, a battle of song, a battle of Metal.
Gullas conjured his instrument form his pack. Its beauty surpassed everything else made by mortal hands, but Jninja's guitar was just as stunning, and even more terrifying.
Gullas rocked out.
Power chords, beats, and rhythms flew from his fingers and his guitar. The stone cracked, the earth shook, the heavens quivered. And then as the last rumblings of the epic solo faded, Gullas looked his opponent.
“My turn.”
Gullas the Fearless Leader had his head exploded by awesomeness to awesome for words
Meanwhile, in the deepest pits of Hell, BffSatan was running from a horde of demonic snakes, or at least Medusa. The colossal maze had proven impossible to pass, but he was still pursued somehow. He had also sprung numerous traps that had humiliated, maimed, and otherwise caused him pain. Surely, the rogue thought, his tormentor was running out of ideas.
Sadly, the Dire Hell Badger and the Rogue's scream of “ME DANGLIES!” proved that the Trap Master was just getting started.
“You'll go far here,” said the archfiend to Product Placement.
The End!
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