Krimminal master mind of bad speling Call Me TOM stroled down the neer empty steets of Duckam sity. Whilst adjusting his bolwer hat to a jurnty angle he pulled the mestorus blinky device he had taken from Ironscarf's not very secreat hideout.
“What the bloody hell is a battle goat?” He louldy monologed. “And nore imporntly where is every one?”
—————————————–
In the middle of the desert Ozoneocean put down the 500000000000 page giant mecka manual. “I have less idea what I'm doing now then when I begun!” He raged!
P.s. Rokuliy that comic is fantastic!

bravo1102 wrote:
each and every goat, having eaten all the Magic Boob Trees suddenly stop in mid chew, and their eyes turn red. A hatch opens in their back and the sign about paying the debt drops away replaced by a 7.62 mm minigun. Unbeknownst to … nearly everyone else except seventy-two who is powerless to do anything stuck as he is in a trunk in the Marianas Trench and Ayesinback who is trying desperately to escape Roikilly's dungeon with Banes,Ironscarf had secretly converted each and every one of the cute fluffy goats in the Dreaded BATTLE GOAT.

Seventy2 shook his head in disgust as he waved the pages under rokulily and Callmetom's noses. He took the last of the seaweed out of his hair and flicked it at plymayer. Plymayer had rescued Seventy2 from the trunk at the bottom of the Marianas Trench he had been trapped in by Ironscarf. Plymayer was a submariner and had been searching for Seventy2 because he held the secret to the dreaded BATTLEGOAT.
“It's simple, when no one adds anything to the story for a bit the last plot complication just fades away by itself.” Tantz Aerine said stepping out from behind the “Welcum ot Muckam Seety” “Hospital>”
Rokulily looked at the sign and then at Callmetom. “Changethe signback.” She turned to the beautiful Greek patriot. “How do you know this?”
Tantz Aerine struck a heroic pose throwing the empty Ouzo bottle over her shoulder and into Seventy2's waiting arms. He turned it over in disgust realizing it wsa empty. Plymayer reached into his blistering barnacles sea bag and pulled out a few bottles and handed them to Seventy2 and Tantz.
Tantz gestrued to wait as she opened the bottle and took a long swig. “Bravo told me.” She gasped wiping her mouth withher long linen sleeve.
“Where's Bravo?”
“In an alternate universe where Pit_face is the tool of an evil overlord and tabby cats wear plate armor”
“Nah, that's just sixth floor.”
Rokulily, Tantz, Callmetom, all turned around to seea very tall Icelander in scrubs. “I'm Dr. Product Placement. Duckam General Hospital like a lot of older buildings has gates to alternate dimensions. Once she mentioned the tabby cat I knew she was refering to the former janitor of the sixth floor Harkovast. He was sucked into an alternate dimension along with the rest of the sixth floor a couple of months ago.”

On the sixth floor Bravo sighed in contentment. He closed his communicator (an Apple iALL) Now things were beginning to fall together.

“Of course since no one else is writing anything, this could become all Bravo, all the time and the Master will not allow that to happen.” The knight who was Pit D'arc said in a monotone.

“Riiiight, now we have the Master.” Bravo mused as he adjusted his scarf. It was only half the length of Tom Baker's but had been lovingly knitted byBravo's grandmother. Harkovast's mouth dropped open as a very large man walked up and pounded him on the head.

“I may not be green but I can be quite an ogre when I want,” the large man said in an English accent. “I'm Genejoke, but you probably already knew that.”

“And this is a rescue?” Genejoke nodded at Bravo's question.

“I was just throwing my voice into the donkey to flip you out.”

“Well that's a load off of my mind.” Bravo replied adjusting his scarf yet again.

From her posh penthouse apartment Ayesinback stared at the large pile of hats with her telescope. “Such lovely hats!” She purred. Shifting her view to look at Rokuliy getting caught in Seventy2's plan to rescue Bravo. “Oh! It looks like they have been left unguarded!”
Clapping her hands she summoned her ever faithful savant the unnecessarily loud ninja Banes. “Come now we have some hats to steal!”
(Some other people had better start posting on this thing Bravo seems to get pissed when I do!)

Call Me Tom wrote:
(Some other people had better start posting on this thing Bravo seems to get pissed when I do!)

Onlyfor comic effect.

“Now that everything is about hats, time for me to swing into action!” said Oz as he adjusted an absurdly high pile of hats on his head. Oz is normally a person of average height, buthis pile of hats made him taller than Dennis Rodman.

“Just don't make the same mistake that poor guy in the Batman outfit made about swinging” Skoolmonkee said as she adjusted the i-Viewmaster to look once more at the pocket universe on the sixth floor.

Tantz adjusted her fez and looked at her companions, striking another heroic pose as the camera shot from the bottom up to make her tiny frame look gigantic, for the purposes of the trailer promo.

“Well what are we waiting for?” She raised the ouzo bottle like a torch of light. “This is what will release the noble Pit Face from the clutches of the master that has her as a tool! Just a whiff of the stuff and I'll need to beat her off before she drinks it all. She'll come to her senses then!”

Rokulily was ambivalent. “Isn't it a better investment if we just drink the booze ourselves?”
“No!” Tantz thundered. “I will not leave Pit Face in the hands of that master, not ONE of my battle mates will be left behind!”

Then she leans over and explains, “and she's the only one who knows where the rest of the booze is stashed.”

“What are we waiting for?” Callmetom cried. “Our heroic duty AWAITS!”

“Right, I'm done playing around.” Bravo flung off the floppy brimmed Tom Baker Doctor Who hat and plunked a beat up Brooklyn Dodgers hat on his head. He pulled out a 45 and pointed it at Pit D'Arc. “Off the horse and hand over your sword”

Bravo handed the sword to Genejoke who looked like he knew how to use one. Bravo preferred firearms. “To the castle Pit so we can face down this one and I can be reunited with my one true wuv.”

Meanwhile, eighty thousand years later, (the restoration of continuity having taken quite some time) Skoolmunkee strode forcefully into a small pub called “The Tipsy Mallard”.

Ozoneocean was the sole occupant, and was gnawing on the leg of a BATTLEGOAT™ and snarfing a pint of bitter, a flagon of ale, and a brewski.

Also whiskey.
“Glumphumskhlupffff,” he chewed.

Skoomunkee's eyes flashed with…rage? Inevitability?

“Ocean,” she boomed.
“Whuzzat?” he gulped. “Ah, yes. Skoolmunchkin.”

“So.” Skool said. “We meet at last. Once again. For the last time.”
Ozoneocean rose.

… and immediately sat back down. “Sorry, I thought I felt a fart coming. I'm good now.” Skoolmunkee rolled her eyes at what was possibly the most uninspired joke ever written.

Far off in the distance, probably about three feet away from the pub, NickyP was leaning on a lightpost. He unwrapped a lollipop, slid it in his mouth, and pretended to light it like a cigarette. NickyP didn't actually smoke, but he always thought the image of a man smoking on a street corner in solitude was hip, in a kind of retro-noire way. He lifted the lollipop and pretended to blow smoke out of his mouth. “Hrmmm,” he began, “I've spent more time narrating this story than I have being in it! I was a relevant character for like a whole eight minutes!” Having broken the fourth-wall, he scratched his chin and pondered. “It'll be tacky, but I have to write myself back into this story. The questions is; how?” He thought about it some more. “Maybe I can employ some sort of lazy plot device. Something like a pointless monologue that serves no purpose outside of exposition?”

“Nah, that'll never work.”

Back at the pub, Ozone smirked. “Yeah, it's been a while I guess,” as he put his drink down, “you look different though. Got a new hairstyle or something?” Skoolmunkee glared, and with a sigh, turned around to reveal Jillyfoo… who was conjoined to Skool, butt-to-butt.

“Yeah. Something like that.”

From a pocket in his coat of many pockets Bravo produced a bolt cutter and removed the collar on Pit_Face's neck. Inside it said “Dr. Who and Cybermen copyright 2000 BBC. Made in China”
“It was a kid's toy.” Genejoke said as he tossed it to Harkovast who was feeling ignored primarily because what red blooded man would pay attention to a large orange cat when there was a beautiful blonde in peril.
“You still must comewith me to the master's” She pointed at a castle in the distance of the pocket universe that was the sixth floor of the Duckam General Hospital.
“It's only a model”, Harkovast mumbled.
“Then we shall not go there, tis a silly place.” Bravo rejoined. He shifted his gaze to the small tavern witha lightpost outside.Genejoke put down his binoculars.
“You won't believe this but that's NickyP leaning against that light post”
“Yeah they're really in there.” Pit_face said. “Can I have my sword back, I want to kill something.”
“No, not until you've learned not to truss upguys dressed as timelords to talking donkeys.”
And with that the little group started off for the Tipsy Mallardblissfully unaware of the biazare cojoined people and flatulent moderators they were about to run into. Though they were all anticipating some wonderful voiceover from NickyP.

Am I still lying on the table?

Maybe I should mention that Kroatz can no longer feel his legs, arms or the entire right side of his face.

Kroatz wrote:
Am I still lying on the table?

Maybe I should mention that Kroatz can no longer feel his legs, arms or the entire right side of his face.

oh you're just fine. skoolmunkee came along, right? if she has the power to manipulate frozen water then think what she can do with congealing blood.

- just hope you don't get ananeurism

really, an epsom salts bath and you'll feel right as rain (and, no, I don't know what that feels like)

—-

Meanwhile: Nicotene, in her official capacity as DD detective, has been gathering notes. Abt_Nihil, having recovered from the personal devastation of having missed the entire boob-astrophe by this much (oh! so teensie eensie), has been sending Nicotene daily updates, and she logs these into her massive database.

It all points to Roy Duncan.

again

and Bravo was pulled over for reckless endangerment while cruisin in the bravo bug. *itsnotatankbravo!*

Kroatz wrote: Am I still lying on the table?Maybe I should mention that Kroatz can no longer feel his legs, arms or the entire right side of his face.

Guess you've never been an emergency case in a typical emergency room. It takes forever to get looked at despite all the blood one is gushing or feeling one is losing.

Lonneheart the security guard came across the gurney shoved into the back hallway with the overweight guy in the batman suit.An aide whose scrubs somehow looked like ancient Grecian dress looked around the corner.
“Oh, that's where he went!” House of Muses said. “I'll just be taking him to X-ray”

Lonneheart nodded. He knew all the deep secrets of Duckam General Hospital and it didn't surprise him why House of muses had lost track of the patient. He glanced across the hall and saw the door to the broom closet ajar and the shadow of someone adjusting their clothing. Yep, Lonneheart the security guard missed nothing. Well he missed one thing; that no one ever dragged him into a broom closet forsome nookie.

Meanwhile Bravo felt in his pocket looking for a snack that wasn't a gellatin infant. He pulled out the ticket and grimaced. “Oh well I guess I'll miss my court date for reckless endangerment, kind of hard to get to court in Duckam City when you're in a pocket alternate universe.”

NickyP looked at Bravo from the lamppost he was leaning on trying to look Film Noire.“You have a working time machine.”

Bravo waved his finger in the air. “YOU have a point!” He ran off as fast as he could with that scarf flapping behind him,ducked inside the TARDIS and setoff for court.Two seconds later he returnedand walked up to NickyP. He now worea loud aloha shirt, a panama hat, had a deep tan and was holding a Mai-tai. “Thanks for the tip. I also had some time left over for a vacation in Hawaiiand a torrid affair in the broom closet witha Greek poetess who works in Duckam General Hospital”

But THAT was only what NickyP thought, because this wasn't Bravo. When Bravo had entered the Tardis, Gullas ambushed him with uneducated and idotic opinoins about the Blitzkrieg warfare in the second world war. Sadly to say this battle was shorter than the invasion of Denmark and Bravo was thrown into a foot locker inside of the Tardis, while Gullas assumed his looks and started to execute his own viking plans that involved NickyP. But before he could do that
NickyP said
“Hey…” as he pointed at a thing, kind like a bat but more like a plane in the air “isn't that?”

“Yes…” Gullas replied “you are right… he's back!” and he knew that this could mean the end of his plans and possibly the whole of Iceland.

Bravo adjusted his pillow in the foot locker and pulled out a book. “I was hoping I'd get written out of this plotline.” The book turned out to be prettyinteresting as it wasa World War II history that supported all of Gullas' ridiculous claims.

Meanwhile bakc in Iceland El Cid realized the plans about the margarine had fallen through and he was stuck with a queen of Iceland that couldn't manipulate frozen water thoughHippie Vandid great work raising rabbits and decorating VW microbuses. She started an entirely new industry that would solve all of Iceland's woes. Iceland would become the new home of the Easter Bunny. Between the multicolored vans and the rabbits it was a cinch.

It also just so happened that Hippie Van was able in her position as queen of Iceland to put together a great creative team to build a wonderful flying, floating rainbow colored VW hippie van. It had great rainbow colored folding wings that looked like nothing so much as bat wings and propellors and an engine that went “chitty-chitty-bang-bang” just because Hippie van likedto put the movie's soundtrack on the CD player while driving.

On a whim she decided to visit Duckam City because she wanted to see howProduct Placement's medical career was going and to find out what hadever happened to Gullas.

so Hippie Van was flying overhead in her “mean green peace-dealin machine” when suddenly a gust from Ozoneocean's fart shot up into the crosswinds and set her engines on fire like a match to a fart…which i guess is what it was. Hippie rockets outa control with cartoon like buldgy eyes and screams “OOOHHHHHHHH BBBLLLEEEEEPPPPPP!!! (yes,yes edited for the podcast)and crashed into the duckham tavern, just barely able to crawl away from the wreckage. she coughed ”why've you foresaken me…john lennon…“ and passed out from awesome overload. Skool scoffed at Ozoneocean and said ”that's it you're banned.“ Ozone waived his finger in the air at her in the most flamboiant of fashions and said nuuuuuuu-uh!YOU are!” Skool waived HER conjoined butt twin at him and it said “no YOU are!” this went back and forth like this for a while as Rockulilly still in her nurse's get up came in and scraped Hippie van together and brought her not back to the hospital, but to somewhere else. it's part of her covert operations.
meanwhile NickyP hipstered his way back into the plot and just as Tantz Aerine said, he could sense the gallons of Ouzo on Pit d'arc and knew instantly this was a dire situation because it ment she couldnt reach it under all the bad ass armor, which must be the key to whoever's telling her what to do. Pit d'arc must have access to the Ouzo to regain her ultimate glory: Pit d'arse. but just as he was musing to himself how he could help unlock this brilliant spectacle, the entire party haulted suddendly in supersticious terror as Rockulilly hurried across their path, and everyone knows its bad luck to cross the path of a rockulilly with a crashed Hippie. as it turns out though Rockulilly was heading right to the evil hang out they were heading towards.
Harkovast sneared with lines of slobber erupting from his puss (mouth, perverts, he's a big tabby cat) “that Hippie isnt reading Harkovast!I'LL KILL YOU!!!” and strode off waiving his sword in the air murderously and the others followed because they should anyways.

Gullas realized this was the end of Iceland unless he could track down Rokulilly and save his queen from her vile clutches and her evil plans because he needed her in his vile clutches for his evil plans.

Meanwhile Kroatz had finally gotten into surgery and Product Placement was nabbed in the broom closet by Houseof muses and replaced by Roy Duncan. Roy Duncan was now committed to turning Kroatz into something Frankenstein would be proud of. After he all he had loved joining Skoolmonkee and Jillyfoo together. Ironscarf had told him how inspiring he had found The Human Centipede. Roy Duncan looked around the operating room for someone he could combine Kroatz with. That was when he heard the page to the other operating theater.

There on the table was the broken body that he immediately knew to be the faux queen of Iceland Hippie Van. He told Rokulilly to wheel her into the other room with Kroatz.

“Houseofmuses get on the roof and fly the kites! Rokulilly turn on the Telsa coils and spark generator thingees it's time foranother mad scientist operation! Co-joined butts! Ha you haven't seen nothing yet!” Lightning flashed in the suddenly darkened sky.

Bravo pulled himself out of the laundry bin in the wash room outside the operating theater. He had fallen asleep in the footlocker readingsome incredibly dull and unlikely World War II history. Then his pillow had slipped and when he woke up he found himself in this laundry bin in Duckam General Hospital. He shrugged that's what you get for messing with time and relative dimensions in space. Any little hatch or cubby hole could lead somewhere completely unconnected.

He gestured to a young man reading the latest issue of Big Bosomed BabesMagazine featuring their exclusive spread on Pit_facefollowing her surprising win in that swimsuit competition against Seventy2. Abt_Nihil looked at the disheveled man crawling out of the laundry with no surprise. He had been wondering how Bravo would getback into the story.

“Im not getting back into the story Abt, you take care of this whole surgery thing with Roy Duncan, I'm sure there'll be some cool stuff for you to get into. Then you'll have to rescue Pit-face from a confining suit of armor.” Bravo looked up at the exit sign. “Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to follow the advice on that sign and take my leave.”

“I'm on it Bravo.” Abt handed Bravo the magazine. “Nicotene's already in the operating room under cover as DD's own detective.”

—
I should say at this point that it is often very difficult for menot to continue the story when I have another chance to do so. Now if anyone really, really hates my contributions remember that I'm not actively keeping any of you from writing a part. I am trying to integrate previous bits and there's plenty of room in the DDiverse for simultaneous plotlines featuring them thar previous bits. So go back into the first few installments pull out a plotline and work it in.
—
“Okay time to get the Ouzo.” Tantz said eyeing Pit in a way that was freaky and somehow strangely intriguing.
“Banned, banned, banned and double, secret-triple banned!” Ozone was screeching leaping up and down on the remnants of the bar. Genejoke picked Ozone off the bar turned him upside down and shook him. He uprighted him and set him down on a barstool.
“Thanks I needed that.” Ozone said.
“I didn't do it for that, I did it for this.” He picked up the can opener that had fallen out of Ozone's pocket.
“Wait!” Came the chorus of the co-joined Skool and Jilly-foo. “Before we do any undoing of Pit's armor we by all rights should wait for Abt-Nihil to get here. He did miss the boob-tree thing.”

Abt pushed the elevator button again. It wasn't moving. He checked his watch. Time was moving too fast! This was worse than when he had to wait for the restroom behind that overly loud ninja with all those hats! Abt ran for the stairs. It was only the sixth floor. He could do six flights of stairs in his sleep. But where had these hats come from? The stairwell looked like nothing so much as a grain bin full of tribbles except it was awash in hats rather than purring balls of fluff.

Speaking of purring Harkovast lept in front of Pit. “No one touches Pit d'arc or d'arse unless they go through me first!” Tantz looked at her incredibly rare machine gun, Genejoke looked at his can opener.

What on EARTH did I start!?!?!?! O_o Ah well, when in Rome:
.
Meanwhile in a dented and charred “READ HARKOVAST” refridgerator….. in the middle of a burnt out land, Macattack emerged. Eyes red from tear stains and being knocked into an acoma for several months due to falling into a refridgerator and out of a duridgable, he had but one sentence on his frostbitten lips. “I… Can't believe…. it's not butter!”
.
The reign of the Margarine crusade had come to an end. He had nothing left to live for. Questions poured into his head. What would he do with his life? What would he tell those who followed him??? (all 2 people) How would he celebrate his birthday in 4 days?….. And why on earth was he surrounded by dead fez wearing goats????
.
With no direction, and no idea as to what on earth had happened while he was out, he grabbed a couple of cokes from the fridge (Hey I don't drink coffee tea or alcohol I have to have some vice) and walked through the battlegoat strewn wastelands. Seeking purpose, seeking answers…… seeking a washroom…

Kroatz, suffering from a serious case of outer body experience decided to try and look at naked women while he had the opportunity. He made his way to the nearest clothing store and jumped into the dressing rooms. The first two were empty but in the third he suddenly heard a voice. “There are no naked ladies here either. Let's just go back to the hospital…”

Kroatz looked back and noticed Hippy Van tied to his spirit with a small length of twine. He started shaking as hard as he could, trying to get her off and after what seemed to be an eternity he succeeded. Hippy van floated off into the distance, completely oblivious to Kroatz's request for directions.

Meanwhile, Kroatz had died on the table.

Kroatz continued on his quest for naked women and floated out into the street. He hovered for a few seconds, looking for a good lingerieshop but didn't find one. Suddenly a giant hat smashed into his noncorporeal form and Kroatz became trapped inside it. Kroatz was now haunting Ozoneocean's hat. It felt quite roomy.

Kroatz had died on the table and his sprit had flown. This would not stop an evilmad scientist of Roy Duncan's caliber. He'd reanimate Kroatz as a soul-lesszombie totally integrated into the still living Hippie van! Half zombie/ half Faux queen of Iceland who's really good with rabbits.

Ironscarf puffed on his cigar. “I say,” he said in his urbane British accent. “There goes mcattack looking all forlorn. Just have to pick him up.” Ironscarf braked his racing green Bentley and gestured for McAttack to hop in.

“Care to make some mischief for all those goody-goody DDer types?” Ironscarf said making certain he didn't say “Goodies” as that was an old English comedy show that he wanted nothing to do with.

“Mischief with margarine?”

“With any sandwich spread you'd like my good man.” He swerved the Bentley to the side avoiding yet another dead battlegoat. “Pity about the Battlegoats, I loved that fez, fluffy goat and minigun combination.”

Macattack stared at his sandwich for a few minutes…. though he would never admit it the margarine just hadn't the same affect that it used to. But people still looked to him for his cause and he wasn't ready to abandon them yet. As he pondered these things (As well as how people thought he was british with a giant mapleleaf on his coat) his eyes wandered out the window. Surveying the miles of dead battlegoat littered wasteland he asked in a low voice, “Have you ever considered super sith squirrel ninjas?”

Ironscarf puffed on his cigar looking thoughtful as only an Englishman driving a classic English car can look thoughtful.

“I say, sith squirrel ninjas? A sort of Darth Hammy from that Americin comic Over the Hedge?”

“Yeah and they'd all have those double ended light sabers” McAttack replied.

“Don't think so old man, they'd merely be slicing off their own tails. Can't give rodents sharp objects you know.” Ironscarf pulled the Bentley into the Duckam General Hospital parking lot and drew it up beside a camouflaged M60 tank marked with a Hellenic flag. “Ah yes, the ouzo supply cunningly hidden in the armor of that poor misguided Pit-face.” Ironscarf pulled up th hand brake, dismounted the Bentley and adjusted his tweed jacket and matching tweed hat.

“Must say though old man. it's so much fun messing with the mind of such an attractive woman wot?” Ironscarf strode purposely to the emergency entrance as only a true blue Englishman can; that is as if he owns the place. “Coming McAttack old man? I've got to check on how well Roy Duncan is doing with his surgery and all.”

When last we were in the inn dear audience…

“Speaking of purring Harkovast lept in front of Pit. ”No one touches Pit d'arc or d'arse unless they go through me first!“ Tantz looked at her incredibly rare machine gun, Genejoke looked at his can opener.”
Then he remembered the sword he had taken from Pit_d'whatever the hell she was calling her self this week. Damn her memory. He took it out and waved it under Pit'd'arc's nose.
“You said you wanted to kill something? Here's your chance. Take the sword.”
Pit grabbed the sword, she was not one to let a good sharp blade pass her by though she would have preferred the nasty looking machine gun Tantz had. Pit advanced on Harkovast.
Gullas as Bravo could not let this happen. He was not about to stand by and let Harkovast get skewered by the now glowering Pit_face.

She was really enjoying this. Shegently stroked the tip of the sword with one slender finger. She then brought the finger to her tongue and licked it… in… slow… motion.
“I love the taste of cold steel.” She took a step closer with a casual swing of her hips that had Harkovast panting with both lust and because he's a cat and that's how he sweats or is that just dogs? At this point Hark really didn't care, he just didn't want to get sliced up.
“Can't we talk this over?” He stammered.
“Sounds good to me,” Gullas as Bravo and Oz chorused with Skoolmonkee and Jillyfoo doing harmony backup.
“BUT I WANT TO KILL SOMETHING!” Pit yelled, “and with all this crap about me losing my memory and wandering around in these uncomfortable if sexy get-ups I really want to just hack someone to pieces!”
Everyone stopped in their place looked behind them. Standing there were several unnamed minstrels and spear carriers who had been standing about the past few scenes looking extraneous. And so Pit-face killed Pit D'arc's minstrels and there was much rejoicing.

In the midst of the joice and celebration, Gullas as Bravo dragged Ozone somewhere they could be alone.
“So what do you want Bravo” ozone said.

“You know, you'Ve always been my favourite admin Ozoneocean-” Gullas as Bravo said with lustfull eyes, litghtly touching Ozonone's manly chest.

“Please, call me Oz” ozone said, smiling.

“my, I never realized till now how handsome you are.”

“Well that might be a result my diet of Vegimate and Beer” Ozone quickly said, escaping Gullas as Bravo's clutches.

Gullas quickly grabbed ozone from the behind, their bodies close to eachother. Aroma of manly tears and sweat filled both of their senses, hearts punding. Ozone turned around and Gullas as Bravo kissed him. They locked their arms together and kissed like the whole world was burning around them… as it was doing, someone had started a fire and it quickly spreaded.

“Father please I'm happy to see you but you're getting creepy!” Ozone cried as he broke Gullas as Bravo's embrace.

Skoolmonkee ran over, which was not an easy thing to do being cojoined with Jillfoo. It sort of looked like the Pullme-pullyou from Doctor Doolittle. “Can I join in? Being co-joined and all I could use a hug from my former love and our child”

Gullas as Bravo gulped. Would she penetrate his disguise? Would he end up penetrating other things? It boggled his mind. Skoolmonkee caught Gullas as Bravo in her embrace and went to place a huge wet one on him, instead she ripped off the fake plastic mustache and glasses.

“Aha! though we've never met I didn't think Bravo looked that much like Groucho Marx!” Jillyfoo said from over her shoulder because she couldn't face Gullas now revealed as Gullas.
“I always thought he did I mean that's why we had that torrid affair” Skool said. Oz put Gullas into a headlock.

“Anyone smell smoke?” Oz said.

“No that flamethrower butt hole of yours just set fire to the table cloth!” NickyP said in wonderful voiceover. Except it wasn't because he was standing right next to them. He turned to a wall and said “Submitted for you approval, a mess of characters in search of a purpose and a plot with entangling plotlines , next stop…”

Genejoke ever practical just put his hand over NickyP's mouth. “Anybody gotta pee?”
“With all that ouzo of course.” Tantz replied. Thre was a general chorus of agreement fomr all present. It turned out that no one had been to the bathroom in quite sometime including Harkovast. Genejoke pointed at the fire which had now spread to the curtains.

Skoolmonkee ambled over to the freezer behind the bar and got out a bucket of ice. She waved her hands over it and the ice flew out of the bucket, spread into a sheet and smothered the fire.

“You majesty!” Gullas dropped to his knees, “I did it all for you and the glory of your one true home Iceland!”

There was the sound of a flushing toilet and Pit_face came out of the doorway and looked aorund aghast, “What? What'd I miss this time so I can promptly forget all about it?”

All of a sudden the door burst open and Macattack (who had just run several miles by sheer willpower alone) ran into the room yelling “HISORRYIHEARDATOILETFLUSHNEEDTOUSEYOURWASHROOMOKAYHANGON!” and ran past Pitface shutting the bathroom door behind him.
After several minutes the flush again was heard as well as the washing of hands (Just because we're doing potty humour doesn't mean we aren't polite!) Macattack then emerged back into the room giving a sigh of relief. “Phewph… Man! Next time I go into acoma for a few months from falling out of a crazed cat/man's durigable in a refrigerator I'm gonna make sure I land next to a portapotty! THanks for….” Macattack stopped suddenly as he surveyed the lipstick stained Oz, the strangely dressed Pitface, the conjoined Skoolmunkee and Jillfoo, the dead minstril bodies,and the charred remains of the room. Backing slowly towards the door slowly he exclaimed “I think I know why I've been hanging out with that Ironscarf guy so much now…” and quickly ran away not even WANTING to know what just happened.

Failing to comprehend recent events professor Genejoke had a psychotic episode and began opening every jar of coffee within five miles and adding five grams of salt to each.
Elsewhere Asbin and Shastab24 worked hard to set up their cross dressers hyper market in Columbia. unbeknownst to them the EEEEVVIIIILLLLL Dark Pascual and his insidious EEEEVIIILLL gerbils were in the process of taking over the whole of Columbia!!!!! Before anyone can act the insidious EEVVVIIIILLLL gerbils have started chewing off the genetalia of every man in columbia. Hundreds of pre op transexuals rejoice at the money they saved. in a desperate bid to save Asbins manhood Sgastab24 quickly crafts a pair of wings from squished gerbils and matchbox 20 cds and sews them to Asbins back.
As Asbin ascends on his wings of gerbilsflesh and bad rock cds he sees the insdious EEEVIILLL gerbils engulf Shastab24 in search of a snack!
Turning and flying away asbin blinks out the tears of anguish as Shastab24 cries out
“fly my love! save those wonderful dangly bits!!!! the extra excalmation marks show how much I mean it!”
Asbins epic flight of freedom begins slowly as he adjusts to his new flying form. he starts to hum 3Am by matchbox twenty, before long he even begins singing. Somewhere over the pacific ocean he breaks into the chorus of the song “Unwell”
“I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwellI know, right now you can't tellBut stay awhile and maybe then you'll seeA different side of meI'm not crazy, I'm just a little impairedI know, right now you don't careBut soon enough you're gonna think of meAnd how I used to be”
So engrossed in the song he fails to notice that the gerbils flesh that binds his wings is fraying and soon his falls from the sky.

SPLASH!
yes, a sound effect to give the illusion that this thing has some production value.
Anyway moving on Asbin lands in the pacific ocean and treads water for as long as he can, unaware that the blood from the gerbil flesh has attracted SHARKS!!!