So, for the last month or so mom and I manage to get a boon from a gofundme after she appeared on tv with my cat about being homeless.
For a long while things look like it was going to turn around even though mom's bank was locked up and could only use Gpay, actually that is a huge part of what's going wrong right now is her bank was such a mess it caused us to burn through a lot of cash because there is not many places that take Gpay in Florida and every phone she bought had not touch to pay feature.
She tried to get money out of that bank through a check from said bank, a 3,000 dollar one, but no one wanted to cash it, not Amscot, not Walmart and not even a shady check cashing place so kind of got stuck in expensive hotels for a while and constantly moving about trying due to booking com and such.
Eventually we spent a month and a lot of money at a Hotel 6, and she bought a lot of stuff, like an electric skillet and bath mats and such.
I tried looking for a job, applied for Chic Fil A and Target but heard nothing from them and honestly I had been feeling demoralized with the constant looming threat of being homeless again, along with being pushed hard to E-beg along with trying very hard to push art commissions which I had no takers and further feeling demoralized.
A huge problem I had been facing is kind of the isolation right now, every spot she picked is “upscale” in theory because she really doesn't want to live in the “ghetto” areas but we are on the outskirts of town near industrial areas with nothing really to do or shop at, honestly fun places for me to interact with anyone like a comic shop or an art store or such a place but just a gas station and a really crappy McDonald's.
I feel like I rag on mom a lot even though I have my own faults like just kind of laying around, should be looking for a job but been pouring all of my energies trying to get “instant” money just to stay afloat here.
Well, one huge problem I am facing is the fact it is nearly impossible to get around here via bus, which the only choice of transportation allowed because every time I brought up owning a bicycle it was met with a sneer of disgust and talk of instead of owning a car would be better or a moped, ignoring both of those take a lot of money.
Thing is the moment we moved into the ESA she bought a lot of things, after telling me we are low on cash, things like a Waffle iron and a coffee maker and two knife sets along with pans and dishes, a new cat carrier (she broke the last one with a lot of her junk she hung off of the handle and snapped it in half) and a crock pot, it actually left us very short this week and I am trying hard to beg for money by Thursday.
I really don't know what to say any more, just I am very tired of this roller coaster and just want off.
I stick with mom because I feel like I have to in a moral sense, but I am just so tired of constantly having to argue over our storage which is filled broken suitcases she spent a few thousand on but the company refuses to replace or arguing with trying to replace my art equipment instead of buying crappy food or such.
I don't know what to say any more, just so very tired of this.

Whoa! Good luck!

marcorossi wrote:
Whoa! Good luck!

Thanks.
An update, somebody broke into my storage unit (along with others) and I had to do a police report on some missing items.

You and your mum really need to split :(
Try and get her into some sort of program or shelter without you. It's terrible but from your stories she's keeping you both bellow the poverty line and preventing you from ever getting out of the bad situation.
you don't need any of those things ever, even if you had a house and job you wouldn't need to buy all that.
please try all you can to get her into a place and away from you. You will be able to do so much better without her undercutting all your efforts and wasting your resources.

I agree.

Furwerk studio, it is time to start riding the Greyhounds around the country. Make friends along the way.

One day you'll wake up and realize that if you don't care enough to make yourself happy, to allow yourself to be happy, all the world's efforts combined won't make a difference. I hope that day will come sooner rather than later. Hugs. (p.s.: I know it sounds terrible, overly simplistic and obnoxious, but we really choose our priorities in life and if she can't take proper responsibilities for her situation and you're taking it upon yourself to improve that situation, who's gonna care to do the same for you? Perhaps there are healthier kinds of love and self-love one can engage in even if re-learning such takes a lot.)

Thank you everyone.
There's days I wonder if it is me who is lazy and wrong, like right now as mom is taking an uber down to the bank to get money for half of the rent while I wash up and feel a bit sorry for myself waiting for the bad news, honestly I do wonder if I am the wrong one at times.
Last night I was fighting with the wifi because mom needs it, and I was “making noises and comments” getting frustrated with the free wifi being run to the computer to make a stable hotspot for her, because it just kept dropping every few seconds (in a literal sense) and I had to rid on the signal to keep it functioning while checking the tethering and the making sure the hotspot did not turn off.
I couldn't tell you for real because at times it feels like I am being lazy, other times it is just frustration.

Just quickly popping in to spread this news, I tried to expend my reservation at the Extended stay America and the lady downstairs not only try to ignore me but took my head off and demanded to be paid in full before she “extend” said reservation.
Thing is, without that reservation I can't stay, even if one is able to pay it does no good, and it seems the staff here had been doing everything in their power to prevent me and mom from staying here.
Honestly just telling everyone I know, just in case something stupid happens, so to avoid staying at any ESAs because they had been very horrible to deal with.

But, this doom and gloom said, I do have a plan. First part is to get a stable job, and get an apartment no matter how crappy it is, honestly it has to be easier than paying the rates me and mom are paying at this ESA, which is nearly 4000 a month.