Thank you everyone…so sorry to melt down on you all and disappear like that. If anyone sent me email and I haven't answered, please don't worry or be upset…both of my accounts are refusing to work right now (grrr…) I just couldn't get right back into things at the moment because of…well, a lot of factors. I can't promise this will update like usual because I'm still…well, you know. I never wanted to get “too” personal with you to the point of discomfort, since I'm actually a rather shy creature by habit. But of course most of what you know of me you can tell is in the comic, since every one of the characters is a part of me in some form or another and in varied degrees. Some more than others are too much like me. It may have appeared by my reaction to the situation that maybe it was worse than it really was…not to say too much but I still am friends with the other person involved, but it is still unbelievably painful that “friends” is all we are anymore. It's not like I can't be happy because we're still on fairly good terms, but it hurts to know your feelings for eachother have become unfairly lopsided.
There's more to this but I don't feel like getting too much into it…but we never fought, argued, I never demanded his attention or told him what to do or any of the things that usually break it off…I guess my mistake was that I was not like other girlfriends and therefore more like a friend… (as for the other reason mentioned? Apparently he can't keep the story straight so I STILL don't know what really went wrong… and he won't tell me) And in comparison of the situation to the comic, the characters I identify with most at the moment are Tony, LaBelle, and Zerlocke.
I never knew depression had a nice physically painful companion to accompany it…it's never really hit me this hard before.
I'm not back because I feel better, but I feel like I'm neglecting the people who really care about me…but as such this may not update on the same schedule (the art/insomnia/weeping/mental block will be to blame for this if so) but I'll try my darndest. Also I really hate to bring the subject of money up, since it has no real appeal to me and I feel terrible even mentioning it, but since I have nothing to look forward to anymore I may as well try and focus more on making this my career…my father still insists on the paypal donation button and I'm waffling on the issue ( mostly shamed out of it by some comments I've read here too)but there was also mention of ebay and original artwork, which I might venture to try out in a bit. I'm not too optimistic about it and please don't let this all spoil your opinion of me as well…I don't need money to make me feel better, but I'm sure it'd make my parents feel better about me living here without paying rent ^_^
There is no shame putting a paypal button up. You deserve to be paid for this comic. There is no reason to feel bad about giving people the option to donate money to you if they feel like it. It's not like you're forcing anyone to pay. With all the work you put into drawing this you should get some compensation and I'm sure there are plenty of people willing to slide some cash your way. I am. I don't have alot of cash but I try to support talent as best I can with my limited resources.
Welcome Back Ame..... This one is good and a bit like what I'm going through right now.... Just remember what I say in the pervious comic and you should come out just fine.....
Raziel X
It is me again AEGM, I think that you would like to know that your art has an increasing audience in the Caribbean and in Spain, also in Latino America. I from Puerto Rico, but I have friends in Spain and in Argentina that read your work and appreciate your graphic style. So keep it going, do not let your heart and romantic-ordeals takes the focus out of your carrer. Not only because of this comic, you can do a lot more, A LOT. Do not underestimate your possibilities.
I would try to donate if you set up some kind of account. I'd have to get a PayPal account and figure stuff out, but I would really love to help you out with making this your career. You're a fabulous artist and it doesn't seem too far out of reach to see your work becoming something huge. I read MegaTokyo (someone mentioned it) online, and I'd heard about Piro publishing his comics in books, but it was really bizarrely stunning to actually see one of his books at the Tattered Cover the other day. I would absolutely buy the books if you published the Charby comics, and recommend them for my friends.
As for the depression, I'm afraid it's been a while since I was 'offically' depressed, so I've lost what insights I may have had. . . . I guess I'm just going to keep reminding you that I and many others love you, and hope that it helps just a little. I wish I could help you figure out what your boyfriend's reasons were, because you deserve to know and I always find it frustrating when people don't give each other reasons for their actions. But anyway, I'm at least glad to hear that you're still on good terms with him, because it would be so much worse if he didn't want to spend time with you. :\ Who knows? He might change his mind, I mean, you were together five years, that's no small thing.
I just hope everything works out for you, both with your comic and with your feelings. Much love and good vibes for you. *huuuug*
âTess
I'm guessing they're in "Hot Topic?" :-)
Glad you're feeling better! Hope the sentiments (Even the bad jokes) helped!
I don't want to get too personal, but what steps are you taking to make a 'career' out of your art? It's not easy, I know, but you're too good, and, more importantly, you seem to love it too much not to try as hard as you can for it! Do you have a resume/portfolio to show? Have you talked to other artists who've made the jump from 'avocation' to 'profession?' Are you still taking steps to study new techniques as well as honing your existing skills? What about learning more about the storytelling and character development aspects of sequential/graphic story-telling? (Will Eisner literally wrote the book(s) on those subjects!)
Would you think about doing some works on commission? Or selling certain pieces on e-Bay?
I don't want to 'overwhelm' you with questions while you're probably still reeling emotionally, but you've obviously got people to support you as you try to make your dreams real!
Poor Hector! ;.; If I was a character in that comic I would so date him!
As for you? I would prefer not seeing a comic hen you making yourself post when you needf to deal with real life issues. I am glad you are still alive and kikcing. I admit I missed the comic alot
Whoo! You're back! Good to see you!
Aw, poor Hector. Wait, if Xandria knows about Hector's, er, "condition", isn't there a possibility she'll blab?
Make comicing a job? Heck yeah! You've got talent bursting out of you!
meh. lots of artists take up comics as a job. i uhm...read quite a few actually. ain't nothin' wrong with it. and some of them don't even put forth as beautiful a degree of art as you do.
as for the pain...*big sight* the physical pain does fade. the depression and emotional, not really. having such deep feelings for someone and not having them returned hurts alot. and so long as you know them, it won't really go away, you just...get used to it, like someone with arthritis. (not quite right, but i've never been good with words) the physical pain will only hit you when you dwell on things. i know what you're going through though ames, and it does get better. especially when you've got friends like these around to help.we're all here for ya darlin'.
You know, you could always make like one uber-nifty-must-see-pic every once in a while and make a pay-for-view sorta thing...Abstract Gender, another comic http://www.abstractgender.com/ does that with paypal. You could also sell some stuff on ebay. Also (Just one more thing) if you want to, you could also make this a B & W comic in a free version, then make a must-pay version where you post the colored comics (Though I'd personally most likely be unable to pay)
OH GOD YOU ARE BACK! Good to know about you girl!
Good to know you are ok and everything, we relly missed you and worryed about you.
Glad to know you are back on your feet.
I'm so happy!
BTW i added you to AIM hope you don't mind.
I never noticed how BIG hectors eyes were. Hehe, I actually read the desc at the bottom before I read the comic. I have depression too, and it gives me head aches, stomach aches, and heart aches. The prozac helps though. I send you my hugs, and hope things make a turn toward the better for you. Try to take life a day at a time ok? Oh, and don't worry so much about the paypal donation thing, it's not that annoying to see at the top or bottom of the page.
Oh boy, there's Hector... I can't blame her for that, I suppose, but I think it's kind of cute. Poor Hec. How ironic that he blew off Vic to get dumped. (^_^; )
I've never been in a relationship before so I have no idea what you're feeling, but it sounds pretty bad. I can't blame you for it, because feelings are pretty powerful things! Usually I'm pretty good at advice but I'm really stumped now. If it makes you feel any better, you should've seen me when I saw there was another page! It really brightens my day when I really need it! So, thanks Amy. (^_^) Maybe you should think about seeing a psychologist or something if you're feeling that bad! I don't want you to feel miserable (T_T)
Whoa! I do have a username. Hey, how did this happen? Kinda creepy creepy, yup yup! Well then. I guess I'll be off, and now I can give my little farewell thingy without anybody stealing it.
Peace, Love, Hugs and Hippos
(>^.^)> Mokawz (apparently...)
Hee~! Hector reminds me of myself sometimes, just like now. I lick my boyfriend's face every once in a while, but he does hate it when I do it in public. And I get all jumpy and happy when I see him and don't expect it.
Hmm, the Cafepress.com idea is super awesome! It'd probably work out better for me anywhos because I'm underage, grr. So I can't reallyu use paypall and stuff without getting into trouble. But, yeah! It'd be awesome to have some "Soilent Jerky. Are you a people person?" I love the soilent jerky. It'd be nice to see some more of those, wink wink, nudge nudge.
It's good to know your still friends and I really do hope he tells you what went wrong, you deserve to know the truth. But I do hope things get better for you soon. If you need a break, by all means, take one, but don't be gone too long without giving us word; some of us might get a lttile too worried. Mm-hmm. Well, we all lurve you! And I really need to get a username so I can rate..
randomisedthing at 1:48PM, May 30, 2006
There is no shame putting a paypal button up. You deserve to be paid for this comic. There is no reason to feel bad about giving people the option to donate money to you if they feel like it. It's not like you're forcing anyone to pay. With all the work you put into drawing this you should get some compensation and I'm sure there are plenty of people willing to slide some cash your way. I am. I don't have alot of cash but I try to support talent as best I can with my limited resources.
Red Slayer at 10:46AM, May 30, 2006
I know what could cheer you up! RUM! Cause and solution to every pirate's problems!
Elliekin at 9:20AM, May 30, 2006
*hugs you*
Zane Solomon at 6:52AM, May 30, 2006
good to see you back. do take care of yourself amy. did you get my email?
Raziel_X007223 at 5:33AM, May 30, 2006
Welcome Back Ame..... This one is good and a bit like what I'm going through right now.... Just remember what I say in the pervious comic and you should come out just fine..... Raziel X
adrielephraim at 11:43PM, May 29, 2006
It is me again AEGM, I think that you would like to know that your art has an increasing audience in the Caribbean and in Spain, also in Latino America. I from Puerto Rico, but I have friends in Spain and in Argentina that read your work and appreciate your graphic style. So keep it going, do not let your heart and romantic-ordeals takes the focus out of your carrer. Not only because of this comic, you can do a lot more, A LOT. Do not underestimate your possibilities.
Taozi Mao at 9:49PM, May 29, 2006
I would try to donate if you set up some kind of account. I'd have to get a PayPal account and figure stuff out, but I would really love to help you out with making this your career. You're a fabulous artist and it doesn't seem too far out of reach to see your work becoming something huge. I read MegaTokyo (someone mentioned it) online, and I'd heard about Piro publishing his comics in books, but it was really bizarrely stunning to actually see one of his books at the Tattered Cover the other day. I would absolutely buy the books if you published the Charby comics, and recommend them for my friends. As for the depression, I'm afraid it's been a while since I was 'offically' depressed, so I've lost what insights I may have had. . . . I guess I'm just going to keep reminding you that I and many others love you, and hope that it helps just a little. I wish I could help you figure out what your boyfriend's reasons were, because you deserve to know and I always find it frustrating when people don't give each other reasons for their actions. But anyway, I'm at least glad to hear that you're still on good terms with him, because it would be so much worse if he didn't want to spend time with you. :\ Who knows? He might change his mind, I mean, you were together five years, that's no small thing. I just hope everything works out for you, both with your comic and with your feelings. Much love and good vibes for you. *huuuug* âTess
Xilixon Leviath at 8:20PM, May 29, 2006
I'd gladly donate for your hard work toward your comics. And welcome back. Glad to hear from you again, I believe everyone is. ^^
futile one at 7:58PM, May 29, 2006
welcome back Amelius. I missed you.
Twilight_of_the_gods at 6:30PM, May 29, 2006
yeah, depression's not only a bitch, but she's got puppies. T.T
Kierkegaard at 6:11PM, May 29, 2006
I'm guessing they're in "Hot Topic?" :-) Glad you're feeling better! Hope the sentiments (Even the bad jokes) helped! I don't want to get too personal, but what steps are you taking to make a 'career' out of your art? It's not easy, I know, but you're too good, and, more importantly, you seem to love it too much not to try as hard as you can for it! Do you have a resume/portfolio to show? Have you talked to other artists who've made the jump from 'avocation' to 'profession?' Are you still taking steps to study new techniques as well as honing your existing skills? What about learning more about the storytelling and character development aspects of sequential/graphic story-telling? (Will Eisner literally wrote the book(s) on those subjects!) Would you think about doing some works on commission? Or selling certain pieces on e-Bay? I don't want to 'overwhelm' you with questions while you're probably still reeling emotionally, but you've obviously got people to support you as you try to make your dreams real!
securitywyrm at 4:13PM, May 29, 2006
Stay strong! Your artwork is an A+! *lick* Wait... no... O positive.
SailorPoison at 2:41PM, May 29, 2006
Poor Hector! ;.; If I was a character in that comic I would so date him! As for you? I would prefer not seeing a comic hen you making yourself post when you needf to deal with real life issues. I am glad you are still alive and kikcing. I admit I missed the comic alot
ZeroVX at 2:23PM, May 29, 2006
Whoo! You're back! Good to see you! Aw, poor Hector. Wait, if Xandria knows about Hector's, er, "condition", isn't there a possibility she'll blab? Make comicing a job? Heck yeah! You've got talent bursting out of you!
shade_mlael at 1:38PM, May 29, 2006
meh. lots of artists take up comics as a job. i uhm...read quite a few actually. ain't nothin' wrong with it. and some of them don't even put forth as beautiful a degree of art as you do. as for the pain...*big sight* the physical pain does fade. the depression and emotional, not really. having such deep feelings for someone and not having them returned hurts alot. and so long as you know them, it won't really go away, you just...get used to it, like someone with arthritis. (not quite right, but i've never been good with words) the physical pain will only hit you when you dwell on things. i know what you're going through though ames, and it does get better. especially when you've got friends like these around to help.we're all here for ya darlin'.
Konura at 12:34PM, May 29, 2006
hope your feelin better...^-^
Arya at 11:33AM, May 29, 2006
You know, you could always make like one uber-nifty-must-see-pic every once in a while and make a pay-for-view sorta thing...Abstract Gender, another comic http://www.abstractgender.com/ does that with paypal. You could also sell some stuff on ebay. Also (Just one more thing) if you want to, you could also make this a B & W comic in a free version, then make a must-pay version where you post the colored comics (Though I'd personally most likely be unable to pay)
Red Slayer at 11:15AM, May 29, 2006
OH GOD YOU ARE BACK! Good to know about you girl! Good to know you are ok and everything, we relly missed you and worryed about you. Glad to know you are back on your feet. I'm so happy! BTW i added you to AIM hope you don't mind.
kiwi bird at 11:13AM, May 29, 2006
I never noticed how BIG hectors eyes were. Hehe, I actually read the desc at the bottom before I read the comic. I have depression too, and it gives me head aches, stomach aches, and heart aches. The prozac helps though. I send you my hugs, and hope things make a turn toward the better for you. Try to take life a day at a time ok? Oh, and don't worry so much about the paypal donation thing, it's not that annoying to see at the top or bottom of the page.
X Daggers at 10:45AM, May 29, 2006
Oh boy, there's Hector... I can't blame her for that, I suppose, but I think it's kind of cute. Poor Hec. How ironic that he blew off Vic to get dumped. (^_^; ) I've never been in a relationship before so I have no idea what you're feeling, but it sounds pretty bad. I can't blame you for it, because feelings are pretty powerful things! Usually I'm pretty good at advice but I'm really stumped now. If it makes you feel any better, you should've seen me when I saw there was another page! It really brightens my day when I really need it! So, thanks Amy. (^_^) Maybe you should think about seeing a psychologist or something if you're feeling that bad! I don't want you to feel miserable (T_T)
Chikan at 10:25AM, May 29, 2006
well, it could be worse, im offially known as Iscariot by most of my ex friends
blade at 9:47AM, May 29, 2006
*hugs* As the old quote goes: It's always darkest before the dawn. Things will get better, you are quite strong even if you don't feel you are.
mokawz at 8:55AM, May 29, 2006
Whoa! I do have a username. Hey, how did this happen? Kinda creepy creepy, yup yup! Well then. I guess I'll be off, and now I can give my little farewell thingy without anybody stealing it. Peace, Love, Hugs and Hippos (>^.^)> Mokawz (apparently...)
mokawz at 8:52AM, May 29, 2006
Hee~! Hector reminds me of myself sometimes, just like now. I lick my boyfriend's face every once in a while, but he does hate it when I do it in public. And I get all jumpy and happy when I see him and don't expect it. Hmm, the Cafepress.com idea is super awesome! It'd probably work out better for me anywhos because I'm underage, grr. So I can't reallyu use paypall and stuff without getting into trouble. But, yeah! It'd be awesome to have some "Soilent Jerky. Are you a people person?" I love the soilent jerky. It'd be nice to see some more of those, wink wink, nudge nudge. It's good to know your still friends and I really do hope he tells you what went wrong, you deserve to know the truth. But I do hope things get better for you soon. If you need a break, by all means, take one, but don't be gone too long without giving us word; some of us might get a lttile too worried. Mm-hmm. Well, we all lurve you! And I really need to get a username so I can rate..
Kioushan at 8:48AM, May 29, 2006
Don't worry Amelius! We're all gald you're back though